99.5 KLRV, The Leader In Rock

"Not that that's going happen any time soon," Hannah told herself.

"It really didn't taste that bad; remember the first time you drank one of Daddy's beers," Hannah asked her reflection as she shimmied into her nightshirt. "Tasted terrible. But then you kind of developed a taste for it."

While Hannah was arguing with her reflection, AJ was half listening to a podcast about the development of Heavy Metal music and half concentrating on his work dilemma. Much of what the on-air personality was saying was standard fare. He doubted very much if the listeners of K.L.R.V. would sit still through a lecture on music development, even if K.L.R.V. did manage to get interviews with any of the artists.

His new 'roommate' was an enigma. Caused him to dump money on two dinner dates, didn't want a third date, listening to the Myndee University Symphonic Orchestra performing the works of Led Zeppelin, tells him there's just no spark. Then all of a sudden shows up on his doorstep, kisses him, then freezes him, has no clue how to fuck, then gets wild during anal sex, then accuses him of sodomizing her against her will, then asks to suck his dick; she'd actually looked up how to perform fellatio.

'Bitches be crazy," AJ said. "Oh well, she's a killer queen, gunpowder and...oh, hey, wonder how the Blue Jays did?"

"Football?" Hannah complained as AJ turned on his television.

"You know, I looked at the cable bill? Didn't see your name nowhere on it," AJ said and laughed when the announcer showed the score of the U.L.D. Storm and the Missouri River State Pioneers. "Forty one to nine? Go Storm!"

"This the only television in here?" Hannah whined. "I was fixing watch Dateline."

"Damn," AJ said when the Myndee-Norwill score showed that Myndee had beaten Norwill, six to three. "Yeah, yeah, this is it. Here."

AJ handed her the remote and was rewarded with a large smile and a soft kiss. AJ grabbed the last cold Barley Terlings and returned to his room.

"Thanks; good night," Hannah said, walking past his bedroom.

"Mm hmm," AJ said, not looking up from his laptop.

In the morning, AJ had an odd craving for French toast casserole. It was a dish his mother had made whenever there was some stale bread in the house. Fortunately for him, AJ had learned the recipe before her suicide.

"What is that?" Hannah sleepily asked, scratching her belly.

"French toast casserole; don't worry. I used your Almond milk," AJ smiled.

He wondered if Hannah was aware that her scratching flashed peeks at her blonde muff. When she yawned then reached for a coffee mug, the maneuver flashed a goodly portion of her very nice buttocks.

"You know, you might want get a slightly longer tee shirt to sleep in," AJ commented as he spooned out a portion of the casserole for her.

"Like I care if you see it?" Hannah said.

After she finished her breakfast, Hannah gave AJ a soft kiss and mumbled thank you. Then, sneaky little smile on her face, she intentionally flashed him a peek at her blonde crotch.

"God, football?" Hannah complained, coming out of her bathroom two hours later.

"Mm hmm, why I go to church on Saturday," AJ agreed.

He looked over at her. She wrapped a towel around her wet hair and sneered at the television.

"But, uh, why you don't get out, go do something?" AJ suggested. "Connor Park's 'bout three miles that way."

"I'm just about out of gas," Hannah admitted.

"Hmm," was AJ's only response.

Throughout the day, AJ was treated to glimpses of Hannah, the snotty ball-busting bitch as she complained about 'not another football game; Jesus, you just watched one, how many are there?' And the new, playful Hannah, the one that enjoyed him, enjoyed being with him, enjoyed being intimate with him.

"Come on, Sixty Minutes is about to come on. You, look! The Titans are ahead by what? Ten points?" Hannah complained.

"This is CBS, Hannah. Sixty Minutes comes on this station. Come here," AJ said.

"What?" Hannah snapped, then squealed when AJ pulled her onto his lap.

"This is CBS, Sixty Minutes will come on right after this, so shut your mouth," AJ said and began tickling her.

"No! No! Oh God, stop!" Hannah squealed, indignant even as she laughed. "AJ, quit! I'm going hit you! Stop! Stop; I'm 'bout pee myself!"

They kissed passionately and Hannah hugged him fiercely. She lay her head on his shoulder while his hands gently rubbed her arms, her shoulders, her belly, and her breasts.

As soon as Sixty Minutes was over, AJ grabbed the remote and switched the television to NBC for Sunday Night Football. Hannah gave a disgusted huff and got to her feet.

"You need to get another TV," she announced.

"Why? Thought you're only going be here a week," AJ said.

At half-time, AJ realized, he did not care who won or lost and shut off the television. He heard Hannah remark, 'about time' as he walked to his bedroom.

"I didn't say I was only going be here a week," Hannah said, coming into AJ's bedroom.

"Hmm?" AJ asked, slipping his shoes off and shoving them into his closet.

"No. I'm paid up for a week," Hannah reminded him.

"Oh? And uh, how long you thinking you going stay?" AJ asked.

"I, shit, I don't know," Hannah admitted.

"Hmm," AJ shrugged.

"I, we can um, you want to..." Hannah stammered.

"Hannah, I have to be at the station at five. Yes, in the morning," AJ said. "So, good night."

"Fine," Hannah snapped, clearly not used to being rebuffed.

Four thirty comes mighty early in the morning. AJ remembered they had a meeting at nine, and he still had no solution to their lunch-time dilemma.

"Some Queen, maestro," AJ asked and selected the album 'Sheer Heart Attack' for his morning drive.

'...guaranteed to blow your mind, anytime...' AJ thought as he went through the motions of his day. At eight fifty, the morning show was switched from live feed to a pre-recorded digital feed and everyone crowded into the employee's break room. Alton Sedgewick, the station's general manager gave a few words that were intended to inspire and motivate his employees, but generally just irritated the bulk of his crew. Then he left, citing a very important meeting with a sponsor.

"Didn't know Albertson's Gin was a sponsor," one of the administrative assistants muttered to another AA.

David Davis lost no time in blaming everyone for their slump in the ratings. He took no blame for it; after all, he was the one that came in early and left late.

"Petite Jean?" David snapped, fixing his eyes on AJ.

AJ grimaced. He'd told the pompous horse's ass that the correct pronunciation of his name was 'PEH-tih-jaw(n)' but David insisted on pronouncing it 'Petite Jean.'

'She's a killer queen...'

"Yes sir?" AJ asked.

"Lunch time slot. Solution?" David barked.

"We play crap. We play commercial schlock; music with no imagination and any soul or creativity it may have had is overly-processed until it is dead and lifeless," AJ said.

"I am well aware of how you feel about our music," David snapped.

"Mm hmm, and if you'd shut up long enough, I could tell you my idea," AJ snapped, already tired of the tedious posturing and posing David Davis was doing.

"This had better be good, Petite Jean," David snarled.

"Better than anything you could come up with, dick breath," AJ thought even as he tried to organize his idea in his head.

"Part of the reason Honey Bee has such a large audience is she is so damned nice. She is so nice it is just sickening," AJ said, looking at the bored faces of his fellow employees.

"So? We need to be nicer?" David sneered. "Oh, okay, gee, that's so nice..."

"No. Just the opposite. We get a bitch. A ball busting nasty bitch. A woman that says what a bunch of crap we're playing. And if any listener calls in to complain? She tells them what a pathetic piece of shit they are for getting so upset over someone having a different opinion them themselves. No holds barred. Political correctness? Not with this bitch. She doesn't care whose feelings she hurts. The only people she won't blast? Our clients, the ones paying for our air time."

"I assume you got someone in mind?" David asked, now somewhat intrigued.

"Mm hmm. Give me a, give me two weeks. We need to do some promos; I'll have the cart for you tomorrow," AJ promised.

"Don't worry Stephen; no one's a bigger bitch than you," one on-air personality said to the morning drive personality.

"Oh, I'm not worried," Stephen lisped.

AJ came into his trailer and found a despondent Hannah sitting on his couch. She'd dressed for a day of work at Norton, Turner, Bloomberg & Waitely, then realized, she no longer worked at Norton, Turner, Bloomberg & Waitely.

"Didn't cook nothing?" AJ asked.

"No," Hannah whispered.

"Hmm. Why not?" AJ asked.

"Because I don't know how," Hannah snapped bitterly.

"Okay, go put on some grubby clothes; those are too mice," AJ ordered.

"What? Why? I don't feel..." Hannah snapped.

"Because you're going to cook, whether you feel like it or not," AJ snapped, pulling her off of the couch.

Hannah's angry retort was cut short by AJ delivering two sharp slaps to her backside. She had never been spanked in her life. Her father had doted upon her, and her mother was far too self-involved to ever notice Hannah's insolent behavior. Then, when her parents divorced, Hannah, Robin, and Shannon had learned how to manipulate their parents.

"Want a couple more?" AJ asked. "No? Then come on, chop chop, let's go."

Hannah mutely went to her bedroom and found a nightshirt and a pair of flannel shorts. She returned a few moments' later and found AJ chopping onions.

"Good, start browning the ground beef," AJ ordered.

"Brown, how you do that?" Hannah asked.

"God, really?" AJ asked.

AJ pulled Hannah to the stove. Standing behind her, he showed her how to brown the ground beef. He stirred the chopped onions and bell peppers into the sizzling beef. He then showed Hanna how to drain the ground beef.

As they ate Hannah's very first chili, AJ and Hannah drank a Barley Terlings beer apiece. AJ listened to her description of her day, which was very brief. Then he told her about his meeting that morning.

"And who you going get for that?" Hannah asked, genuinely curious.

"Oh, I don't know. Who's the meanest, nastiest woman I know?" AJ asked. "Let me think, let me think. Let's say someone who studied to be a lawyer, maybe?"

"Me?" Hannah asked, shocked. "I, but I don't know anything about radio."

"Don't matter. You do know how to be a bitch. You do know how to shit all over people," AJ said. "I'll teach you the rest."

"Huh, uh, thank, thank you for showing me how make chili," Hannah said after her second bowl.

"Welcome," AJ said.

As Hannah cleaned the kitchen, AJ went into the third bedroom and hooked his Les Paul to the ten watt amplifier. He ran an overdrive pedal, then a distortion pedal and finally a distortion/phase shifter pedal. Brian May's guitar solo for 'Killer Queen' was AJ's inspiration. The first five seconds was through the overdrive pedal, the next five seconds of music was through the distortion pedal turned to fifty percent, the last five seconds ran through the distortion/phase shifter with the distortion turned to one hundred percent and the phase shifter at fifty percent.

Listening to what he had recorded, AJ nodded in satisfaction. The progression was an attention grabber, perfect for a quick blurb about their new On-Air personality.

"Okay, that could be a problem; what the hell do we call her?" AJ wondered as he left the third bedroom.

"That sounded awesome," Hannah praised as she wiped the pot dry.

"Help me out here," AJ said. "What do you want us to call you?"

"What? What's wrong with Hannah?" Hannah asked.

"Okay, we use your name and you piss off the wrong person?" AJ suggested. "Or, after a couple months, you decide you don't like it? People are going to know you were that really nasty bitch on the radio."

"By the way, you ever slap me on my butt again? I will make Lizzy Borden look nice, hear?" Hannah threatened.

"Uh huh," AJ laughed, softly slapping her on her buttocks.

"I mean it," Hannah said, snuggling up against him. "Hear? I don't like that."

"Uh huh," AJ said and slapped her buttocks again.

Entering AJ's bedroom, they stripped out of their clothing. Hannah was at first puzzled when AJ pulled her into a sixty nine position, but quickly figured it out. She screamed when AJ's mouth and fingers brought her to orgasm, but AJ's cock muffled her scream.

"I'm, um, augh, I'm close," AJ warned, then brought Hannah to a second orgasm as he jammed a thick finger into her unsuspecting anus.

"Mmng! Augh, ack!" Hannah grunted and gurgled as AJ's semen flooded her mouth.

"Leave my ass alone; it's still sore," Hannah complained as she allowed AJ's limp cock to slip from her mouth.

"Uh huh," AJ smirked; Hannah was grinding her ass against his two thrusting fingers

"At least use that lube, huh?" Hannah panted, grinding her ass hard against his probing fingers.

"Get off of me and I'll get it," AJ said.

Hannah scrambled off of his chest and assumed the position; ass up, head and shoulders against his mattress. She reached back and pulled her fleshy globes wide. AJ grabbed the tube of lubricant and greased up three fingers.

"Augh! Ass hole!" Hannah screamed out when AJ gave her two quick slaps to her upturned buttocks.

"Augh, oh, oh God!" Hannah grunted as AJ's fingers pushed into her struggling rectum. "God damn it, go slow, huh?"

"Think you 'bout ready," AJ said and pushed his greasy cock into her willing rectum.

"Augh! Ow! Stop, stop, shit!" Hannah screamed out as a white-hot jolt of pain seared through her rectum.

AJ gripped Hannah's hips in his hands and steadily pushed into her. He could see the white impressions her fingers were making in her buttocks as she pulled her cheeks apart as far as she could.

"Ack! Augh, oh God damn it!" Hannah screamed out when AJ reached around and diddled her clitoris.

"Yyyeeesss!" Hannah screamed out in orgasm.

She raised herself onto her hands and began vigorously pushing back to meet his forward thrusts. She shuddered then screamed as that intense feeling in her guts again exploded in orgasm. She screamed out again as she could feel AJ's sperm pumping into her bowels.

"Fuck! That, that's it! Fucking beautiful," AJ suddenly laughed out.

"Yeah," Hannah agreed, suddenly weak from the intensity of her orgasms.

"Lizzy Borden Bundy coming to your Lunch Time hour," AJ's voice boomed out just after the screaming guitar solo died out.

"She's mean, she's nasty, she just don't care," AJ intoned, his octave shifter and full reverb making his voice ominous.

Alton Sedgewick, the general manager even agreed to purchase two billboards announcing Lizzy Borden Bundy's arrival at 99.5 K.L.R.V, The Leader in Rock. The billboard asked who was Lizzy Borden Bundy and told everyone to tune into 99.5 to find out.

"Jesus, this seat is sticky," was Lizzy Borden Bundy's first words spoken on air. "Hey, manager, get me another chair; one that little fruit loop didn't sit in, huh?"

"Oh my God," David Davis almost fainted as he listened to Lizzy Borden Bundy's broadcast in the safety of his office.

"Okay, thank you. That one? Need to send it out and get it Scotch-guarded, you hear?" Hannah smirked as they played the sound of a chair rolling across the floor. "Now, let's listen to the same old three chords played to the same tired old beat while some dumb ass whines about his father not giving him the love and nurturing he wanted as a kid. See? This is what happens when you give these ginormous vaginas trophies just for showing up. They feel entitled, they feel like we owe them something. Hey whining little girl, uh, ever think maybe your daddy was busting his ass to feed you and put the latest name brand jeans on your ungrateful ass? Hmm? Ever think maybe he was tired after working all day? Just let him drink his one or two beers and leave him alone, huh?"

"Oh my God, I, I think I'm having a heart attack," David groaned and slumped his head onto his desk.

His mood did not improve as Lizzy Borden Bundy made references to her famous uncle, Uncle Teddy Bundy. Lizzy Borden Bundy also mocked politics, sports, television personalities; no one was safe from her scorn.

"Could I at least get a towel, something to wipe this chair off with?" Hannah asked the very next day. "what is this anyway?"

"I'll have you know, his step-father abused him when he was a kid," an irate caller shrilled after Lizzy Borden Bundy lambasted another singer's whining self-pitying lyrics.

"Uh, maybe if the little bitch had shaved that pubic hair off his face and got a real job his step-father might not had a reason beat his ass. Ever think of that?" Hannah sneered. "Instead of making excuses for the worthless bag of dung, why don't you open your eyes and look at the real world."

"Petite Jean, you're fired," David screamed when AJ picked up the extension. "Get that cunt off the air! Now!"

"Okay, and here's some more derivative vomit the music industry is trying to pass off as music. Enjoy the next three minutes and fourteen seconds of mind-numbing noise," Hannah announced. "I swear to God, cheese-whiz isn't as processed as this stuff."

"Out! Get out!" David screamed, bursting into the booth.

AJ carried his box of personal effects to the car. Hannah followed him a moment later and cried out when she saw him putting the box into the trunk of his car.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Hannah sobbed as she clung to a laughing AJ. "Stop! Quit, why are you laughing?"

"Wait and see," was all AJ would say. "You hungry? Lefty's sound good to you?"

"And..." AJ said as his cell phone rang forty eight minutes later.

"Station's had over a hundred phone calls in the last hour," AJ laughed heartily as he hung up on David Davis's demands. "Everyone wants to know where Lizzy Borden Bundy is."

The phone rang again and AJ sent it to voice mail. In the car, AJ let Hannah listen to David Davis alternating between threats and pleas.

AJ tuned the radio to 99.5 and they listened to the stumbling, flustered intern as AJ drove to the parking lot of K.L.R.V so Hannah could retrieve her car. She gave David Davis the finger and almost drove over the huffing and puffing man as she left the parking lot. AJ cheerfully waved as he followed Hannah Durst from the parking lot.

"Now, why aren't you worried?" Hannah shrilled when AJ entered the trailer. "Jesus, AJ, we're both unemployed! What are we going do? How are we going to make it?"

It was not lost on AJ that Hannah said 'we' and not 'you' or 'me' when she had asked the question. A month ago, three weeks ago, she would have phrased the question very differently. He made her squeal, then laugh as he picked her up and carried her to his bedroom.

"And don't you dare slap, God damn it, AJ! Quit slapping my butt!" Hannah demanded, wiggling out of her snug jeans.

"Okay, what is this? Can anyone tell me what this stain is? Oh my God it's still wet; someone get me a hand wipe," Lizzy Borden Bundy snapped as she started her broadcast the next morning. "Can anyone tell the difference between an acre of freshly spread manure and this next song? Yeah, I can't either. Enjoy."

"Um, just how closely related are your parents?" Hannah asked the first caller.

"Remember when I asked for your opinion? Yeah, me neither," Hannah sneered at the next caller. "And here's our next redundancy award winner. Could someone please tell these obnoxious pseudo-musicians that there's more to a song than the same three chords over and over and whining about your priveledged life?"

"You like shepherd's Pie?" Hannah asked AJ when he came into the trailer a few weeks after her on-air debut. "It's one of Honey Bee's recipes; I think it smells good, what you think?"