A Blind Date for the Holidays

"Wow!," my brother Sean snorted into the moment of silence that followed. "My sister is a lesbo! Who'd have guessed?"

"Say it like that again and I will hurt you." I was only half kidding. Sean just grinned and I realized that in his own way, my younger brother was trying to help.

"No," my father said, draining any humor from the moment. "No daughter of mine is one of those."

"Daddy, I am what I am," I said softly, knowing what was about to happen, but having no way to stop it. "I love Billie. That doesn't make me any less of your daughter. I love you too."

"No!" my father snapped loudly. "If you loved me, you wouldn't do this to me."

"Oh daddy, this has nothing to do with you," I sighed as the tears welling up in my eyes. "Please don't make me choose." The tears starting to fall and Billie took my hand and squeezed in support. "You won't like the outcome. Nobody will."

My father opened his mouth to say something that I was sure was going to be terrible. You could almost feel the irresistible force behind what was about to come. Nothing could stop the words he was about to say, but apparently there was someone.

"No," Mom interjected with an immovable finality I'd never heard her use before. "I will not disown my only daughter." She then turned to dad and added, "Neither will you. I don't condone Patricia's life style any more than you, but we will not lose our daughter over it."

Dad started to disagree, but mom cut him off again. "I know that look in her eyes. Like it or not, Belinda is the one. She's Patricia soulmate. It's as plain as the nose on your face. She couldn't give her up even if she wanted to."

I thought maybe she was getting through to my father, but then he turned without a word and walked out of the apartment. We watched him leave. Mom was frowning while Sean shook his head, looking disappointed.

"Give him time," mom said into the silence that followed. "Actually, we're both going to need some to accept something like this." My mother surprised me then by turning to Billie. "I don't know you and you're not who I would have chosen for my daughter, but life doesn't always follow a plan and like it or not, you are now an important part of my daughter's life."

"She is my world," Billie replied. "Don't worry, I will take care of her." That almost made mom smile, almost.

My mother turned back to me and pulled me into a hug without another word. I was so relieved that she hadn't disowned me or let my father do it that I squeezed extra hard.

"Good lord child! Let me breath!" She stepped back and shook her head, but this time I could see a slight smile form.

"Mom, I love you, and thank you." It was the best I could offer. My mom nodded and reached out, caressing my cheek briefly.

"I love you too Patricia," she said, smiling fully for the first time. "And happy birthday." It was too bad it didn't last.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" I was afraid I knew the answer, but it was my actual birthday and I hoped anyway.

"Janet is throwing Trish a party. You are welcome, but it will be a mixed crowd," Billie offered. It was the first time I was hearing about this party, but I wasn't really surprised. It was so Janet.

"Thanks, but even I'm not quite ready for that," mom replied, losing her smile. "Why don't we go out to breakfast in the morning?"

"I'd like that," I answered. "Do you think daddy will come?"

"Not likely." My brother so wasn't helping. He clearly wasn't happy, but it was more because of my father's reaction than me. "The old guy is stuck in the nineteen hundreds."

"Oh dear," mom sighed at Sean. "I knew we shouldn't have allowed you to go to such a liberal college." She was joking, I think. Who was I kidding? Probably not.

"It wasn't that liberal," he snorted, looking at Billie and me and shaking his head for a moment. It wasn't hard to see that he was still trying to come to grips with what he learned the same as my parents.

"Are you coming to the hotel or staying?" Mom was obviously worried about my father and what he would do. She didn't want to leave him alone for long.

"It's best if I stay," Sean replied, fully serious for the first time. "You two need to talk and it won't be good if I get in the middle." My mother nodded in agreement. A moment later she'd said her goodbyes, somewhat awkwardly when it came to Billie, and then was gone.

"Not quite the birthday you were expecting, right?" My little brother's grin was back as he teased me.

I'd always known he was the rebel out of my family, but never expected this kind of support. It took me a moment to realize that it wasn't about Sean accepting my lifestyle so much as my little brother loving me enough not to care about it, or at least not to the point where it effected how he felt about me.

"Thanks," I said, pulling him into a hug. "You have no idea what your standing by me means."

Sean squeezed back hard, letting me know that he still loved me. Of course, him being who he was, my little brother couldn't leave it at that.

"It's not like I don't get it," Sean grinned as he stepped back from our embrace. "I know for a fact that I'd be a lesbo too if I was a girl."

"There really is something wrong with you." It wasn't the first time I'd ever said that to my him and I was betting it wouldn't be the last, but that was okay. Sean was a good brother despite all his craziness. He more than proven that tonight. Now, if only my father was half as understanding.

"Well, that happened," I sighed, shanking me head as I remember my father expression just before he left.

"Are you going to be okay?" Billie's concern was obvious.

"In time," I replied, and the shrugged and added, "Truthfully, that went better than I feared."

"You think that went well?" Sean asked in disbelief.

"Not well, just better than I expected." I shook my head and added, "I was certain it was going to be cousin Justin all over again." Sean was only seven when Justin came out. I'm not sure what he remembered, but it's not like he didn't know what happened.

Billie could sense what I was feeling and pulled me into a hug. It was exactly what I needed. I tilted my head up and kissed her.

"I'm okay now."

"That's pretty effing weird to see." Sean was being honest in that way only my little brother could be. The good news was that I knew he'd be okay with it in time. I could tell from his rueful grin. Of course, he was the most open-minded member of our family. Speaking of which.

"How do you think Mike and Paul are going to react to the news?" I worried about how my aunts, uncles and cousins would take the news too, but honestly, Mike and Paul were the only two people I was seriously concerned about. They were my older brothers after all.

"You and Paul were pretty close growing up so I expect he'll deal eventually," Sean offered. "Besides, Cheryl's pretty open minded in regards to this kind of stuff. I'm sure she's been rubbing off on him."

"This kind of stuff?" Billie asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Alternative life style choices." My little brother actually made air quotes with his hands as he said it.

"He takes some getting used to," I offered, trying to keep the peace between my girlfriend and brother. I had a feeling I'd be doing that a lot in the near future.

"I'm sure he'll grow on me," Billie said sarcastically with a shake of his head. That was a mistake. You never let Sean know he was getting to you.

"You don't happen to have a younger sister that looks like you, do you? One that's straight?"

"Or not," Billie sighed, but then added more forcefully, "You are not allowed anywhere need my little sister Camila." I needed to cut this argument off before it started.

"Sean, keep it up and I won't let Billie give you a ride on her motorcycle." My younger brother's eyes grew surprisingly big.

"A motorcycle?" he said, obviously not believing.

"A Harley," I grinned.

"Billie, old buddy, old pal," Sean began with the same pleading eyes he used to use to con me and my brothers out of our desserts when we were younger. "I don't suppose..."

"We'll see," Billie smirked.

"On second thought," I frowned at my girlfriend as a thought hit me. "Maybe it's best if we kept the fact that you ride a motorcycle under wraps until my parents are gone. I don't think even mom insisting that you are my soulmate will help with that. She will lose it for sure and dad...well, dad's a different story altogether."

"Them? Mike will go all big brother if he hears." Sean sounded like he's had some personal experience. I'd have to ask him later when things quieted down.

"How bad is Mike going to be about Billie and me?" I was nervous about my eldest brother's reaction. He and I weren't as close as Paul and me. He also wasn't nearly as liberal as Sean.

"Mike? He'll be fine with it." My younger brother sounded awfully confident in his assessment.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I know something you don't," Sean said in that tone every younger sibling was an expert in. Thankfully, he decided to tell me without making me drag it out of him. "You forget that Mike and Justin are around the same age. They were close growing up. Our big brother got back in touch with Justin, Uncle Teddy and Aunt Ellen years ago."

"Seriously?"

"They only live a couple of hours away from here," Sean replied. "Actually, that's Uncle Teddy and Aunt Ellen. Justin and his significant other moved a few states over about five years ago." I was happy that Mike had made the effort to keep in touch and a little embarrassed that I hadn't.

"I need to get Aunt Ellen and Uncle Teddy's phone number and email address from him. I miss them." I was surprised by how much I wanted to see them again. "Justin's too. We weren't that close, but I should give him a call."

"Makes sense since you're both family and...well, different." I gave him a pointed and penetrating look, but Sean's grin didn't waver in the least.

"You know," I sighed, finally giving up and looking away. "If you come to the party tomorrow night you might want to keep you sense of humor in check. Some of our friends might not be nearly as understanding."

"I don't know," Billie grinned slowly. "I think Samantha might find it amusing."

"There will be no bloodshed at my birthday party!" I was joking, but not really. I did not want to see how someone like Samantha dealt with Sean's offensive comments.

"Don't worry," my younger brother laughed. "I will be on my best behavior."

"That's what I'm afraid of."

"Not to change the subject," Billie interjected. "But I don't suppose you'd be willing to stay the night and babysit Janet? There's only one bed here and..."

"You want your beauty sleep," Sean interjected, obviously at least a little embarrassed by what Billie was about to say. "Got it. You two love birds go ahead. I'll keep an eye on Janet."

"Not too close of an eye," I said, still trying to adjust to his sudden interest in my best friend. "She's still not wearing anything other than her bra and panties."

"That's...interesting," Sean said with a slow smile.

"If you try anything, I will..." I knew I could trust Sean, but his smile was far too thoughtful and more than a little disconcerting. Still, I should have known better than to question his integrity.

"Please!" My little brother snorted, finally losing his smile. "Janet is cute and I have to admit, her body is a lot better than I would have guessed for someone so small, but I do not take advantage of drunk women. Especially not ones who also happen to be a friend of the family."

"Sorry," I said, meaning it. My brother gave me a long hard look before finally smiling.

"I'll forgive you if you put in a good word for me with Janet once she's sober." It struck me that he was serious despite his joking tone. Janet was three years older than Sean, but he knew that and if it didn't bother him then Janet could do worse.

"I'll think about it." It was the best I could offer. She was my best friend in the world and if things didn't work out between them it could make my life difficult, and right now my life was difficult enough. Sean nodded in understanding. That's when Billie put her two cents in.

"You know," she grinned. "It might actually work out. You two obviously have a similar sense of humor."

"You know Janet well, do you?" Sean asked. I saw Billie's eyes sparkle just before she answered. I tried to stop her when it hit me what she was going to say, but I was too late.

"She was my first kiss."

"Holy shit! Janet kissed a girl!" Poor Sean looked completely floored, but I was too annoyed at his tone to care.

"Why not?" I interjected, letting my annoyance show. The truth was that I was also a little amused by the so called 'liberal' member of my family's reaction, but I refused to let that show. "I do it all the time these days."

"Please!" my brother snorted, no put off by my tone in the least. "I admit, I was surprised when I first saw Billie and figured it out, but mom was right. The signs were there. None of us allowed ourselves to see them, but looking back now it was pretty obvious."

"I still don't get that." My family's reaction was so not what I expected. Well, everyone's except dad's. "I mean, I didn't even know I liked girls. Why aren't you all more shocked?" My brother shrugged in reply and brought the conversation back to my best friend.

"There's plenty of time to talk about that later. Right now, I want to talk about Janet." Sean was being unusually persistent. I mean, it's not like they never met before. Although, come to think of it, my little brother was already in school when Janet and I graduated so he wasn't really around when she started coming over to visit me and then I moved into my first apartment.

The truth was his interest shouldn't have been all that surprisingly. It's not like I didn't know my best friend was a catch. Janet was cute and took care of herself. She also had a great personality, even if her sense of humor was a bit twisted. Why wouldn't my little brother be interested in a girl I loved like a sister?

"I can't see her being into girls." Sean seemed confident in his statement despite barely knowing her. I wondered if it was mostly wishful thinking? Not that he was wrong.

Of course, my brother being who he was, Sean couldn't stop himself from adding, "Not that there's anything wrong with it." If it were one of my older brothers, I would be wondering if they were serious. Not Sean.

"She's not," Billie laughed. I was happy to see she got my younger brother. Some people were offended by him. Okay, maybe more than just some. "Frankly, I thought she was going to be sick."

"That's a relief." My brother's comment earned him an odd look from Billie, but Sean didn't seem to notice as he turned to me and shifted topics yet again.

The brief reprieve from thinking about how much had changed for me when Billie came into my life had been oddly satisfying. It made me realize that eventually this would all blow over one way or the other and life would fall back to something closer to normal...whatever that meant for me these days.

"You should give Mike and Paul a call soon. You don't want them finding out from Dad. Frankly, I'm not sure them hearing from mom would be much better."

I nodded in agreement, but I had no idea what I was going to say to my older brothers. It really wasn't a conversation for the phone, but I didn't have much of a choice. It couldn't wait until I saw them next week. Sean was right. It would be better if they heard from me.

"Don't worry," my little brother offered. "It won't be as bad as you think." He paused before shaking his head and adding, "Well, with Mike and Paul. You're probably right about how the rest of the family is going to treat you. It will be Justin all over again."

"I can live with that," I said slowly. "I've made my decision. Billie is worth it." I smiled at my girlfriend who smiled back in a way that made thoughts of the ramifications of my decision far easier to accept than I expected.

"Like you had a choice." Sean actually snorted. "Mom says Billie is your soulmate and she's never wrong about that kind of thing."

"There is that," I laughed, which was probably the reason why he brought it up. Sean was a good brother despite being a pain sometimes. "Honestly, when mom told me that over the phone yesterday it helped everything fall into place. I was going crazy over this great big life altering decision and suddenly, I realized it wasn't really a decision at all."

"Yeah, your family and this whole soulmate thing is going to take some getting used to," Billie said with a shake of her head. "I'm not complaining mind you, since it helped you accept who and what you are, and more important, me. Only, I'm not really a believer in fate."

"Don't worry about it," Sean threw in. "Truth be told, I never put much belief in it either, but mom is now three for three. Call it what you want. Maybe it just her having the ability to recognize when one of her children are truly in love, but whatever it is, the woman has a knack."

"Let's get going," I said to Billie. "It' been one heck of a night! I want to go home and have a drink."

"Home is it?" Sean teased, but I took his question seriously. A moment later I was looking around my apartment and realized that I meant it. "You're already thinking of Billie's place as yours?"

My little brother's second teasing question caught me off guard as much as his first. I glanced Billie's way and she was smiling at me warmly. That's when the truth sunk in.

"Not really," I replied with a shrug, never taking my eyes from Billie. "Home isn't a place. It's wherever she is." Billie's smile grew and her dark, warm eyes all but glowed at my response. I meant exactly what I said and she knew it.

I'd stopped running from Billie some time ago, although she might not have realized it. Over the last week, I'd finally accepted what being in love with her meant, and how it would affect me. It was hard because it meant that I wasn't going to have the life I planned. There were going to be people I loved who never talked to me again, one of them possibly being my father. That hurt. That hurt more than I could explain, but it was what it was.

I'd come to accept that Billie was worth giving up everything for and that's why I made the decision I did. And yet, as I looked into her eyes it suddenly hit me that I'd been missing the forest for the trees. I'd been so focused on what I'd lose, that I hadn't thought as much about what I'd gain.

Billie hadn't fit into my nice, neat, perfect little plan for my future. I eventually grew to realized that I loved her enough to sacrifice it, but now that it was done, I saw that it hadn't been a sacrifice at all. Instead, I felt a sense freedom I never expected.

Certainly, I was free to love Billie, no small thing, but it was far more than that. I was free to be or do whatever I wanted. In that moment, the future was limitless. I expected that in the next few weeks I'd reevaluate everything in my life. Maybe nothing would change or maybe everything would. The only thing I was certain of in that moment was my love for Billie and hers for me. It was enough.

"Billie, you'd better take my sister and get going," Sean interjected with a wide grin. "She looks ready to jump your bones right here." Billie blinked and looked away. She'd clearly been as lost in thought as me with her eyes locked the way they were.

"He's not wrong." The words slipped out without my realizing it. I was embarrassed, but it was overshadowed by the warmth I felt when her eyes returned to mine.

"I thought I was the aggressive one?" Billie was teasing me, but the heat in her gaze got to me just the same.

"Usually, but not always." It was an honest response and it made her smile grow.

"TMI! TMI!" my little brother cried, holding my apartment door open and pointedly gesturing for us to leave.