All Comments on 'A Boy In Babeland Ch. 02'

A bit of the old standard "in and out", kinda short, but still exciting. You've got a couple typos, small ones, on the second page... might wanna pay closer attention to that in the next installment (if you write one, that is).

While the dialogue is generally OK, and the narrative is technically sound, there is an overall lack of... flavor, I guess you could call it. There needs to be something more... I dunno... dramatic, I think. Not a whole heck of a lot happened in this chapter. A build-up or foreshadowing to the next Event would be nice, perhaps... it might keep the reader interested in sticking with the series, anticipating the next chapter... keep 'em coming back for more, as it were.

Overall, not bad. Not astoundingly amazing, but pretty good. When is Mom going to start getting hip to the situation? I mean... two of her daughters have begun having sex with her son. Doubtless, she'll begin to notice some odd behavior or something. And what about Stacey and April- will they come to loggerheads in an effort to negotiate exclusive rights to their brother's... uhm... services? Will Brother start giving Trish a more serious appraisal and try to seduce her actively, now that he knows she's attracted to him? Will Stacey and April team up on their brother, perhaps invite Trish to "play" with the threesome?

With all of this cumming inside his sisters, has it occurred to them yet that they risk a pregnancy?

Just some food for thought.

Don't stop until he's fucked every one of his hot sexy sisters!

great story keep the good work up cant wait to see what happens next

You've cleared up any minor problems with your writing style and it all flows nicely. Great way to move onto the second sister, and I hope to see future works on this series. Good job mate.

I only had one sister and I loved her. Sibling incest seems more natural and is not abusive when the boy is younger.

love this series please dont let this be the last part i hate it when writers start a good story and then leave it hanging so keep up the good no great work "jakk"

Keep'm coming

Excellent Story. Please continue with more volumes!!

I hope you are going to finish the series letting us know what happens with the rest of the family execellant story

Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese continue!

Excellent Job!

Good flowing writing and extrrreeeeemly hot material make this story one of the best i have read in quite a while. Please please please continue.

this story kicks ass

Execellent use of some heavily erotic positions (2) to maintain a sexy and romantic tempo to the story. Execellent imagery and use of adjectives and pronouns to add to the narrative of the situation(s). Like someone has already mentioned, there are some grammatical typos here and there, but you definitely can write like Joan Collins - which almost makes up for the grammar errors.

i freakin crapped my pants ahhh man...

so good it took me less then 2 mins 2 come. lee is a very lucky kid!

I'd love to fuck April in her tight ass..... while stacey deep throats you. I'll cum deep in April's ass.

I was sure Lee was going to have anal sex with Stacey when he was eyeing her ass hole hrough her knickers. That would have been a new adventure in brother/sister incest that I have yet to read about. Keep it coming. I can hardly wait to see his adventures with sister number 3 :-)

Just keeps getting better and better for Lee, doesn't it? I liked the fact when he was with Stacey that he called out before he ejaculates. While I gave it a 5, work in a little more detail on how each feels right before and during their orgasms. This would be some excellent polish on the rest of what's already quite hot.

loved it, only thing was the baby comments were a bit off putting for my tastes. each to their own ;) otherwise really good

Two down, Four to go. Where will this lead now?

6 sisters, and he's had sex with 2 and more to come probably, thats what i call dude heaven.

a few more sisters and I think an orgy will break out. thanks this is fun

...well, other than him running off like a little kid, it was a pretty good chapter! Having sex on someone elses bed? Not too bright! Hehehe.

That was hot !

I only hope it remains as hot - or gets hotter - in the following chapters !

Loving this so far.

Wow! Even hotter than Ch. 1