All Comments on 'A Bumpy Car Ride on My Son's Lap'

couldn't understand why he was wearing pyjamas in the car. story was simular to some I've read

Wow that was terrible… First of all, her “pelvic”? The word you’re looking for is “pelvis” and no normal person uses that term to refer to their own body. Second, he “tore” her pussy? Do you even know how vaginas work? The fact that a man wrote this is obvious. And probably a man who has never been with a woman.

Not bad, but you could use an editor. For one thing, you spend an inordinate amount of time justifying the situation (the whole rigmarole with missed buses and all the other things going wrong) and meticulously describing minute details of the physical positioning. This is all unnecessary and just bogs the story down. Instead, you might want to focus on things that make the story hotter, like the emotional connection between the characters and the shifting power dynamic between them, or the nearby presence of the other people in the car and the risk of discovery.

For another, there are quite a few grammatical errors, wrong word choices and other mistakes that detract from the reading experience.

Another of the stories one can understand is after Covid, since so many apparently has lost their sense of smell ...

And when did people start picking up hitchhikers when they have no free space in the car?

Great story, well done, although I would have liked more description when he fucked her. Can’t wait to find out what happens in the woods!

A very interesting camping trip...let's hear about the next 3 days.

Great beginning. Part 2 about there camping adventure please.

Liked the story. Write more about the sex next time. Also pay more attention to the fucking than justifying. Are you writing part 2? Or we done with the story?

I enjoyed the part of the story where the mother was naively teasing him. Really good writing right there. But for me the shift to uncontrolled horny into forced sex is boring. I agree with other that the setup was too detailed for no reason. I also would like more physical description added in. This was still pretty good you have a lot of potential. Good luck

love to see a second part to this. let them both give into their desires.

I liked your story. You took the old mom on son's lap plot and made it your own. But I agree with others comments about wasted details and poor grammar. Please keep writing. You are an original thinker.

The sharing car-ride theme for mom-son stories is pretty common. Your version is well-done and is fun to read. 5 stars. Thanks for taking the time to write your story.

Excited for the next installment. I. Sure the forest adventure will be great. I'm eagerly waiting!

A little too short, but it was good !!!!

Good story. Would like to read more. For example" Mother and Son at the Lake; Mother and Son at Home. Mother and Son Make Plans; and Mother and Son Find Love. If the author decides to take on this task, I hope he remembers charter development.

Omg! This is so hot and good!

more please

The image of someone going on a trip wearing pyjamas spoilt it for me, couldn't take it seriously after that

Some poor choices of words in places, could use a revise but overall I liked it and would like to see a sequel.

A good read.

Need m0re of this

Look at it this way if you got pregnant with your sons kid inside that good thing your young enough have your son put another kid in you

Love to have a next part to this

Could have been a good story, but the sentences and punctuation made it a tough read at times. Make sure you reread your stories and fix the errors.

So what happened next? In the woods inside a small one man tent alone for three days with her son Liam who just fucked her on the trip up there. Sounds like a killer sequel is due!

A bad take on an unoriginal story idea. The introduction was a series of unorganized thoughts that lacked details. You jumped from one thing to the next feeling like you had to explain why they were in the situation they were in but it just didn't flow. Some of the words you used didn't make sense making me believe English isn't your first language.

I'm not saying quit writing. I'm saying slow it down, explain the situation and make it flow, and find a good editor to fine tune your writing.

Yeah, this odd the same story over and over. Nothing original here. Pretty old and tiring, not to mention virtually impossible to actually make happen. Lame is a better word for it all.