All Comments on 'A Clean Break'

The stupid plot twists, the reactions that fly in the face of human nature, the ridiculous extent of non-communication, and the continual use of "the fleeing husband" plot device all destroy any unique storytelling. Instead, this story reads like most of your others and 99% of all LW tales. You, like most other writers on this site, have good ideas, but in your desperate attempts to earn the love and adoration of the BTB crowd, you write the same story over and over, and like heroin addicts, the readers demand only a high.

Can someone tell this 70 year old American what a hooptie chevy sedan is?

Viper, a hooptie car is basically a beater, still runs pretty good, but beat-up.

Arnie thinks with his little head. Marian has become a sex addict in lust with Paul and about to do what cost her Arnie in the first place. Claire seems to really love Arnie I bet she could do without Marian. The two women are conspiring to seduce poor Beth. They are all in need of some professional counseling.

Well that was a nice surprise ending. If ever there was a huge setup for another story, I’ve never seen it. It’s like they have decided to build a house on the edge of a volcano and see if it blows up. Cudos for the total honesty at the end. Maybe that insane idea of three plus two with a swap now and then would work? I seriously doubt it, but they aren’t my characters either. Perhaps they should get a huge custom bed and just do the Mongolian cluster-fuck thing ? It might not work, but it would make for an interesting moment no doubt. As you can see there are a bunch of different directions as to where this could go. As for this setup story, I am giving it five stars and a like

The theme should be named “The three Hens went a looking”.

Where the hell was the "clean break " ? Marian must have the world's best pussy for Arnie to go along with the final bullshit. He's still married to her and now he knows that she is screwing some other guy. It doesn't matter about Claire, she still screwed him over in the end. And , although I have never used this term before ... Marian made him into a "cuck" ... 3 stars for the effort though .

It started well. Then fell of a cliff in page two and never recovered.

So what thehell happened to his submitted paper on the math?

Story was OK.

I don't know what it is about writers on LW but they always seem to switch up the wife fundamentally contradicting their previously expressed position.

In page two we have a woman who was so overwhelmed by guilt at the reality of cheating on her husband and possibly losing him that she became ill. But then subsequently her libedo explods, primarily due to the absence of a husband, thus edging her towards scratching an obvious itch. Due to the possibly permanent absence of the MC, but she's still clearly in love with and wanting to remain married and faithful to the MC. So she refrains from moving on with her life and all that would entail, makes a massive effort to hunt her husband down. So then after paying all that money and time, she flies out to confront and get him back, but right at that point is then beset by doubts and decides she probably wouldn't give a shit about him if he was still fat and boring. So why the fuck did she waste her time flying out, she could have just asked for a divorce and shagged Saul. It makes no sense, unless you see it as a piss poor transition to a future cheating wife.

Of course by this point the so called straight laced, perfect, if a bit of a fatty, husband has miraculously turned his life around in a few months, lmfao, and is, while still married mind you, banging some low waged strumpet without even a twinge of a guilty conscience.

Even worse still, Saul is such a free spirit that he can at the drop of a hat relocate. Even better for him is that miraculously his ex wife just so happens to live close to the same place that the MC just randomly decided to make home.

Tbh, the saddest character in all this is Saul, he's so lacking in looks and sexual prowess that out of a country of 360m?? he finds the need to obsess over and chase after a so so looking middle aged almost a grandma.. Betting his life on the possible whim that she'll throw him a bone. Poor guy is so insecure that he's even worried his ex wife and daughter will fall under the charms of the MC. Though through all this we're still reminded that this reborn sexy hunk of an MC still isn't enough to satisfy the wife and she still wants to tap sad old Saul.

The runaway, uncommunicative, butt-hurt, non-confrontational little beta men make me ill. These characters use passive-aggressiveness instead of intellect, real emotion, and engagement. Why do so many of these writers create these characters? Is it self-reflection? One of the many weaknesses of amateur writing is the inability to step outside the writer's persona and write characters that have little or nothing in common with themselves.

I liked this, a bit different than a lot of others on here, nice enough characters and the plot went together well

Sorry should have said that I think it needs a second part, you could make it go along quite well

Different but a great and fun read! I recommend! DerMtMan

Too many character flaws. Also, how does this vague story end?

Not a bad story overall but it really is just a fantasy!

One of this authors favourite tactics that those of us who write in this comments section have suggested multiple times: If you are going to write it and then post it then FINISH THE DAMN STORY!!!