A Closet Homosexual

Robert squirmed as Ben's tongue continued to lick at his tight hole. He had watched enough gay porn to know this activity is what a top will do before fucking a bottom. Daddy licks your pussy and then he will fuck you. This is what Robert wanted too, it was time. Crawling on top of Ben he pressed Ben's cock against his damp bung hole and returned to frantically kissing his masculine lover. Ben's magnificent cockhead felt amazing to Robert as it prodded his hole. Ben knew, Robert knew, that it would likely take some lube to insert Ben's cock up into Robert.

Ben reached to the nightstand and retrieved some as Robert patiently waited for what would be coming. Ben lubed his cock and fingered Robert's tight hole with some for good measure. Robert's littler penis stood erect as he held on to and backed down on to Ben's cock. Robert had masturbated in recent years many times at the thought of getting fucked. He had masturbated Thursday night with a vibrator up his butt with the fantasy of getting fucked to get him off. As a teenager he had sucked cock many times, but he had only ever been fucked once, with Vic.

...........

Back when he was in high school, Robert and Victor were having a clandestine homosexual relationship in the time up until Robert was sent away to Ohio for the summer. Where Jeremy liked having Robert suck his cock, their friendship was purely physical.

It was very close to the end of the school year when Victor and Robert's love affair was consummated one afternoon in Robert's bedroom with mother and Beth both at work. Victor waited naked on Robert's bed perusing girlie magazines while Robert was in the bathroom getting ready. When Robert appeared, he looked stunning; nearly perfect makeup and a silky matching lavender slip and panties. Robert melted into Victor's arms as their ravenous passion drove them into a lovers' frenzy, kissing and moaning, pulling on each other's steel hard cocks, fondling and caressing. Pulling off Robert's panties and spreading Robert's legs Victor pressed his cock against Robert's tight hole. Robert had longed for this day with Victor, often inserting whatever suitable object he could use, like a Vaseline coated tapered candlestick or a hairbrush handle up his butt as he masturbated while sniffing semen crusted panties.

He stopped Victor for a moment and retrieved some Vaseline from the bedside to make Victor's cock enter easier. As Victor began to fuck Robert, it hurt a little at first, then the floodgates of desire for both boys took over. Robert received Victor's thrusts as the dynamic of feeling feminine and being penetrated took his sense of sexuality to new heights. When Victor's rapid fire thrusting culminated in an animated and moaning orgasm ejaculating seed up into the other boy, Robert then masturbated frantically cumming all over himself for his own sexual release. The boys were quite nearly in love with each other as they stayed joined and snuggled together in the after glow of their lovemaking. It was but days later when Robert's mother had the "come to God" talk with him sending him off to Ohio without even being able to say goodbye to Victor.

........

With Ben's hard cock penetrating and probing Robert's tight boy cunny, Robert knew. Robert knew he was gay and he knew his life as a straight married man was a charade. Fingering himself or fucking himself with a vibrator or a dildo was one thing, taking Ben's cock up his ass was so much better. With Robert on top he eased onto Ben's cock, a little more cock slowly entering Robert's "pussy' with their mutual humping and cock sliding in. Then, quite naturally, Ben rolled Robert over and began fucking him like a man would fuck his wife and placed his mouth over Robert for a passionate, hungry homosexual kiss as they fucked. Robert still had high heels on! Robert's eyes rolled back in his head as the sensation of cock up his butt confirmed what he knew was true, confirmed what the demons in his head long told him, he was a femme gay bottom, a closet homosexual, not a straight married man.

Taking a masculine man's cock inside his tight butt was more exciting than screwing his wife. Acting femme and faggy for a real man was much more stimulating than intermittent "hurry up and get it over with" sex with his wife. Robert was beside himself with arousal as Ben made love to him. Thrusting his big cock up into his sexy femme lover, Ben was still amazed that he had happened onto such horny little closet queer. Closet fags are always the most eager as they hide their true sexuality from the world and perform like the gay sex starved homosexuals they wish to be.

Robert masturbated his hard little penis as Ben pounded a thundering ejaculation up into him, moaning a throaty "uuuhhnnn" to his climax. In whimpering agitation, Robert climaxed shortly after, squirting cummies out onto his lithe hairless body as Ben smothered Robert's mouth with a hungry, passionate homosexual kiss. As they came down off the peak of orgasmic delight, Ben continued to kiss, nuzzle and tongue the ear of his new found effeminate gay lover. As truly pleased as Robert was to unexpectedly to act out the homosexual feelings that had long been suppressed, Ben was more than surprised to have happened upon such an eager femme fag boi. As they continued to nuzzle and bask in the sexual glow of this lovely gay connection, they softly verbalized the amazement of finding each other.

"Wow!" Ben whispered. "I had no idea. You're hot, a dream boat. What a wonderful surprise."

"I love this. I love being gay. I'm so gay. I fought it forever. How can something that feels so right to me be so wrong to other people?" Robert wondered aloud.

"You are wonderful. Don't let people tell you it's wrong," Ben offered. "Even when I was married to Linda I knew I was gay. I've wanted you for a long time," Ben whispered throatily in Robert's ear. "Back when I saw you with Emily, I wanted you. It never crossed my mind you might be gay. I just had a wonderful feeling about you the few times I ever saw you. Never in my wildest dreams did I think you'd be gay; it was just a silly gay crush. Now look at you. You are much sexier and sweeter than I could ever imagine."

"Don't take this the wrong way, it's just how wonderful you make me feel. I want to be pretty for you. Tell me I'm pretty. Tell me my gay femininity is okay with you. You make me feel feminine. You make me feel alive, you make me feel real, like the person I feel like inside," Robert poured this out to Ben as they nuzzled, still with Ben's semen damp on Robert's bottom with quite a big wet spot on the sheets.

"You are so very pretty, you're a doll, mmmmmm," Ben told Robert as he nuzzled the side of his face and kissed him again. "You'd make a lovely wife."

These words were music to Robert's ears. In this re-blooming of his homosexuality, being desired as the sexual object of another man made him tingle and shiver, especially being able to express his feminine gayness with Ben. When Ben said this about being a wife, Robert's penis twitched, he'd never heard sweeter words.

"Call me Bobbi with an "i". Because I love being gay with you," Robert/Bobbi told Ben.

Ben got Bobbi a robe and they had coffee and some scrambled eggs. Bobbi told Ben he had some things to do around the house and needed to check in with Emily. They made plans for dinner and drinks; Bobbi would be over at seven. Bobbi went home, called Emily and then took a long hot soapy bath, shaving everywhere smooth again. He knew what he was going to do before dinner with Ben, he would go to Studio Lights across town. Studio Lights was a shop for the gay, trans and crossdressing crowd, not far from the thrift store where Bobbi got the dress and shoes the day before. He wanted better. He was going on a date, out to dinner, with another man! He had always wanted to go to Studio Lights but never had the nerve. Now he had a good reason.

As Bobbi walked into the store it was a tingly, naughty feeling knowing this is where very femme and very gay men shop. Not all gay men are femme, quite the opposite. But for gay men like Bobbi who are femme, this was a wonderful place to be. As Bobbi walked around, there were other men in the store that gave each other hesitant glances, they were probably married also, so it was unspoken, but they were all there for the same reason, they all had effeminate desires. Bobbi looked at dresses hanging in the racks, wigs on the counters, shoes on shelves on the wall, sex toys and chastity devices in the glass cases. He did not know where to start. And then, as is the case when a man is shopping for women's apparel for himself and afraid to ask questions, it happens.

"Can I help you find anything?" a voice asked Bobbi, nearly startling him.

"I...I...I...uh, uhh," Bobbi fumbled out.

"It's okay. I understand. We've all been at this stage. LaShonna. Pleased to meet you," the gal said, offering her hand with a limp handshake.

"Bobbi," Robert sputtered out.

Her voice was somewhat deep with feminine undertones. LaShonna was a woman of color, long straight black hair with bangs cut just over her eyebrows. Maybe it was not her hair, maybe it was a wig. Her face had high cheekbones and her eyes and lips were done in shades of light pink. She was slender and taller than Bobbi and wore a matching two-piece dark lavender chiffon material tunic; boatneck top with hints of a bra underneath, long flowing sleeves, billowing pants for the bottom.

"Pleased to meet you, Bobbi. Would you like to look at some dresses?" asked LaShonna. "I'm here to help," she said. "You're here because you want to look pretty. I know that. Don't be afraid, don't be embarrassed. I was just like you at one time. It's wonderful when you can be the real you."

With that, Bobbi followed her over to a rack of dresses. Bobbi flipped through them, seeing some that he knew would make him feel lovely and gay. LaShonna told Bobbi to take some over to the dressing room. Would he like to look at some shoes, as well? Before trying on some dresses, Bobbi found a pair of silver strappy high heel sandals in his shoe size to take with him to the dressing room, which was a large stall with a curtain on rings. LaShonna came in with him and said she'd love to help, not to be embarrassed. Bobbi sat and took off his shoes and socks, then stood and took off his shirt and pants. He was wearing a pair of skimpy, light pink string bikini panties.

"You really are quite lovely, Bobbi," she told him. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Well, I, we..... I, we... just met....," Bobbi sputtered out. "We're going out tonight."

"Let me give you a makeover Bobbi. You'll love it. So will your man," she went on. "Here put on this robe. Let me give you the makeover you've always wanted. I will include the dress, the shoes, a wig and makeup. $300. We have an ATM up front. I take it your wife doesn't know?" she concluded with, noticing Bobbi's wedding ring.

"She's out of town," Bobbi replied, trying to decide on the makeover.

Everything with Ben just happened so fast. This was a big opportunity for him, rarely would he have this chance again. $300 was a bit more than he wanted to spend, but here was his chance. The way he felt being femme and sexy for Ben, this would be even better than what he could do on his own. He loved standing there in nothing but the pretty pink panties for LaShonna. His penis was not a full boner, but it was firm in the panties and that would be hard to miss.

The sensation of showing how femme he was and how femme wearing panties for another person made him feel, dissolved any doubts he had about the makeover when he told her "I'd love that." Bobbi put on the robe, and they picked out several wigs for him to try on. There was a page boy wig that was a pretty burgundy shade of brunette that he knew he'd love.

"Not to pry, but If your wife doesn't know about this, have you had many boyfriends, Bobbi?" She asked as Bobbi sat in the chair and LaShonna began to apply foundation.

"Last night was the first time I have been with a man since high school," Bobbi replied. "It might have been one of the best nights of my life."

"Oh my, Bobbi, that very interesting. I'm happy for you. Do you think you are you gay. Or is dressing up something new for you?" she went on. Bobbi thought for a minute and replied.

"If I was going to be honest with you and honest with myself, I would have to say the I am a closet homosexual. Even though last night was the first time I had sex with another guy in many years, I have fantasized about it and masturbated wanting it for years. Last night was unplanned, it just happened with someone that I had known not very well from a while back. Earlier in life I was shamed into being straight, but my body, my mind, my penis knows that I am really gay."

"Where are you going tonight, with your man?" LaShonna asked.

"I'm not sure. I'm not sure where it will be safe for me to be femme in public," Bobbi replied.

"You should come by Club Z tonight, my boyfriend works there. He runs it. Trevor, he's my boyfriend. Many guys who shop here can be 'out' at Club Z. I love making you look pretty Bobbi."

"Thank you. I love feeling pretty. I never thought that I would ever get the chance to be gay again, to be able to be feminine for another guy. I read gay sex stories on Literotica and fantasize about being gay. Last night was a dream come true."

"That's nice Bobbi. Do you have a favorite story?"

"I have so many favorites. One story called "Pink Panties, the video" is about a skinny guy who is forced to wear panties and a dress for a trucker, and it ends in romance. Another story is about a guy whose wife and her girlfriend feminize him for the girlfriend's husband. She ends up putting him in makeup and a dress for the other husband. It's called "A Harmless Favor". Bobbi was getting hard talking about these stories as LaShonna was doing his makeup.

"I love hearing you tell me about this, Bobbi. I can tell how much you love being feminine. I'm going to make your look so pretty, Hun."

"Thank you. I never thought I would have a chance to be pretty and feminine for someone. It's scary being married and knowing that you are gay. I'm not sure how to handle this."

"Do you think you really are gay, Bobbi?"

"If I told you that my favorite story is about a guy in a story called "Looking for a Husband", that would make me pretty gay, right?"

"You're gay, Bobbi. Let's see how pretty we can get you for your man."

With that, she made Bobbi beautiful and stunning with shades of blue, pink and silver. Her lips were glossy pink. Bobbi put it a cocktail dress that was soft beige with three pleated layers, short above her knees and LaShonna convinced her to buy some beige stockings and a garter belt with silver string bikini panties, that Bobbi should make her time 'en femme' count. With the dress, stockings, silver high heels strappy sandals on, Bobbi felt like she was walking on pink fluffy clouds. But when she saw herself in the mirror with the fabulous makeup and burgundy page boy wig, both her and LaShonna were stunned.

LaShonna told Bobbi that she was as pretty and passable as any "girl" she had ever done. She insisted on taking Bobbi's picture on Bobbi's phone, that he would cherish them forever. Bobbi was soaring. Though a little unsteady in the heels, Bobbi fluttered around the store and several guys even clapped at her as she did pirouettes, nearly falling over.

Things can change in a person's life, things can change in a marriage. By reconnecting with the sensations that imprinted Robert's/Bobbi's sexuality so profoundly before it was taken away from him and snuffed out, you could only imagine the unbridled arousal bursting inside of him. With over a week for Robert to be free to explore his sexuality, he told himself that he would have to deal with being married once Emily got back, but to enjoy and explore the experience in the meantime. And enjoy, he did.

Ben and Bobbi ended up at Club Z. Ben was rather surprised and smitten by Bobbi's effeminate homosexuality. Like Bobbi, he had no idea that this chance connection would be so fantastically wonderful. Ben was at a lonely place in his life, his business was good, but he had no romance or joie de vivre despite coming out. In Bobbi, he found someone who latched on to him and was over the top in expressing his effeminate homosexual nature. Neither one could have been happier.

That night at Club Z, Bobbi was a superstar. He let Ben know not to worry, but he was going to have fun. So many trans girls and gay men doted over Bobbi and his flashing sexy looks and demeanor. He was on the dance floor in the stunning cocktail dress and high heels soaking up the vibe. LaShonna was there in a fun dress as well, and they danced fast dances and danced slowly, heads on each other's shoulders, exchanging pleasantries, snuggling and groping. When Bobbi felt LaShonna's genitals through her dress, it felt funny, like there was something hard about her penis.

She lifted her dress up and showed Bobbi her chastity enclosed penis. "The gayest femme boys are always in chastity, you'll see. And Bobbi, I can tell that you are gayer than most, I'm so glad you came to the store today, I want you to be happy," LaShonna told Bobbi. "You're pretty gay, you know that don't you, Bobbi," she teased. "Pretty and gay, Sweetie," she said with a laugh.

"I'm going to do it," Bobbi told LaShonna. With that, 'she' pulled off the stunning cocktail dress and handed it to LaShonna. "I'm going to show off for a bit. I'm letting my gayness out of its cages. Hold my dress, I'll meet you over at Ben's table."

Standing there in the silver high heel sandals, beige hose with the red nail polish on his toes peeking through, the black garter belt and silver string bikini panties, perfect makeup and burgundy brunette page boy wig, Bobbi had "come out". He was shedding the shameful shackles of his excited effeminate homosexuality and he wanted to show it to the world. He WAS a sight to see. That night at Club Z there were other pretty trans girls and crossdressers, but Bobbi broke barriers beaconing bemused gazes at his stark effeminate loveliness. Bobbi had an aura of released sexuality that made him shine and made people happy to observe him jaunting and swishing about, happy to be a part of his coming out party.

Perhaps when Emily got back, like Cinderella and the clock striking twelve, he'd have to go back into the closet. But that was the furthest thing from Bobbi's mind as her cute ass in the silky silver panties and its penile bump in front was glistening smiles from all across the bar. "She's hot" people would say to one another. "Hello, sweetheart", "Hello, Princess" and "Hi, Doll" would be said to her as she danced in heels and panties by herself, gyrating to the music, floating on pink fluffy clouds of effeminate expression. Her naked nipples were hard as she danced topless by herself, arms above her head. Someone asked 'him' what 'her' name was and passed it on to the DJ, who shined a spotlight on Bobbi and announced to the crowd "let's give it up for the lovely Bobbi Jayne Jackson" as the bar erupted into a roar of cheering and clapping.

Embarrassed, but still floating as the song ended, Bobbi made his way back to Ben and LaShonna and put his dress back on. All were smiling and proud of Bobbi. Maybe the alcohol had a little to do with it, but with his demons released from their cages, Robert's homosexual expressionism made 'her' feel like a gazillion bucks. Ben and Bobbi made sweet love that night when they got back to Ben's place. Ben still could not believe his good fortune being with Bobbi so unexpectedly. Bobbi was a horny little vamp digging her nails into Ben as his cock penetrated her ass pussy in passionate copulation.

Simple fact was, Robert just loved being gay and naked with Ben. Though he loved the panties and the makeup and wearing a dress or lingerie, simply knowing that he was Ben's gay lover made him feel feminine. The next day, Sunday, they chilled together, just enjoying their new romance. Bobbi was animated and honestly rather "swishy" in his interaction with Ben, talking with an effeminate gay lisp, making a spectacle of himself walking around in panties and high heels, boner waving proudly, throwing himself at Ben with hungry homosexual kisses, pawing at Ben's cock, sucking cock and spreading his legs for fornication in unabated horniness.