A Closet Homosexual

Robert was ecstatic to be able to express the yearning inside and the ability to freely engage in sex that was not constrained by his family's disdain for his true sexuality. Though he was infinitely effeminate in his mannerism, it was his attraction to Ben's masculinity that got him off in their male on male sexual and romantic interaction. For a beta, a bottom, an effeminate homosexual, latching on to a masculine man affirms the sense of femininity that is the soul of your gayness. Kissing Ben, snuggling naked up to his masculine body, being desired sexually and enthusiastically, rather than be told to "chill" like Emily did, or being shamed for his gayness like mother did, this sensation of naked homosexuality lit a fire within Robert. With his demons now freed from their cages running around creating havoc on the last remnants of heterosexual desires, Robert was tasting the fruit so long denied, so long desired, so long fantasized and masturbated about.

They went shopping and Ben bought Bobbi whatever he wanted at the fancy department store. Bobbi was not 'en femme' as they shopped, but still had some makeup on and held hands with Ben, not caring if people knew they were a gay couple. Perhaps that was brash and unwise, he cringed a little inside when he was certain someone who might know who he was made eye contact. But Robert was still soaring in now his third day coming out as Ben's 'girl', at this point, he did not care.

Dresses, lingerie, cute tops, girls' soft terry cloth 'boy shorts' all found their way into shopping bags. And what might be surprising to us all, as to what excited Bobbi the most, was a set of light pink and white striped Victoria's Secret satin pajamas. He'd be wearing the pink pajamas every morning after sex, he told himself, he shuddered at the thought of how effeminate Ben made him feel. Bobbi didn't verbalize it, but in his head, he had a 'wife' fixation spending time with Ben.

With Emily not getting back for another week, Bobbi and Ben had a pretty good week together, even though they both had to work. Bobbi was at Ben's place spending every night with his lover. In the mornings after sex, Bobbi and Ben would shower together. Bobbi loved seeing Ben soaping up and being soaped up by Ben, being playfully fondled and fingered by him. At work they'd call each other and talk lover's talk. Once they met for a quick lunch. They didn't have time for sex but seeing each other and kissing was thrilling enough as they bonded.

They both took off work early Friday and drove up the coast and spent the night in a motel by the beach, their last night together with Robert needing Saturday night getting the house ready for his wife's return. Bobbi loved wearing a pink bandeau top bikini swimsuit in high heels parading around their room in his sexy pageboy wig. Taking off the bikini bottoms yet leaving the pink bandeau top and the high heels still on, Ben licked at Bobbi's boy cunny and hard penis, making Bobbi squirm in decadent gay delightfulness before Ben penetrated Bobbi, boffing his newly found fem boy in loving screwing. In the bedroom together by the beach both knew that this unfettered time together was not permanent, at least not in the immediate future, so there were twinges of knowing sadness, despite the joy.

"You're sweet Bobbi Jayne," Ben told him as they snuggled after making love with Bobbi's lithe, yearning body and ever erect penis that had enjoyed so many dramatic joint ejaculations together. "I loved it when you took my name when the DJ called you 'Bobbi Jayne Jackson', what a doll you are."

With the expanse of the ocean in their view, soft breezes coming in, Robert wished he was no longer a closet homosexual. Like his demons released from their cages, he wished he could run free as well.