All Comments on 'A Cup of Cream Ch. 01'

You see it all the time on this site: The difference between "Nice" and "Wow! That's nice! Good job!" is the effort you put into polishing the finished project. Catching typos, and errors in punctuation. Proof reading what you've written so it flows, organically, pulling the reader in... It's all about suspension of disbelief. And every time the reader encounters a typo, or a misused word, or a paragraph that really needs to be overhauled because you failed to use a comma or a period, OR WHATEVER, it's like hitting a speed bump or a pothole on what you were hoping was a smooth road. It jars us out of that "suspension of disbelief", and that makes the difference between a 4 or 5 star rating, and a 3 or 2 star rating.

You get back what you put into it, and this story need a bit more polishing before it was posted.

I'm not saying you shouldn't write anything else, but I am saying you'd benefit from either an editor, or taking the time to EDIT YOURSELF better.

@Epiphany_Jones

Ty Will do that.

Do we really need your long comments about how to write??You should proof read your own comments before telling others how..This was a good story.

You can't even spell, dude. STFU and go away. The author was given constructive criticism. The criticism wasn't even directed at you, dumbfuck. You must be one of those Hillary voters that are still crying in their Cheerios.

Got to agree with Epiphany_jones, good start but desperately in need of proof reading

Learn how to spell "Epiphany". Or learn how to turn on "spell check". It's not that hard. I could spend a paragraph or two explaining how you do that, but you're kind of a whiny little bitch. So, suck my dick? (By the way, judging by the amount of swearing in your response to my original comment, I think I got under your skin. Good. Waah, little boy. Stop crying, little boy.)

And to the Anonymous Fucktard: "Do we really need your long comments about how to write??You should proof read your own comments before telling others how..This was a good story."

I'll respond to your accusation by letting YOUR paragraph speak for me. (Oh, and learn how to fucking spell "Epiphany".) Are you a product of some neglected inner-city school system? I'll accept criticism from the competent, but pal, competent is not a word I'd associate with you.

And to anyone else who took time out from hugging trees and handing out awards "for trying", take a few more minutes and stop projecting what's shitty about your life onto me. I gave an honest and sincere critique to the author, who responded maturely, in the spirit that the critique was offered. YOU fuckwits seem to be the ones making the most noise.

How is anyone supposed to improve if they don't know they should? Or even that they CAN? Get a life, and get a clue. You decide which one takes priority.

A very good story well told.

I agree with Ephiphany_Jones. The writer doesn't know about punctuation and capitalization, etc. and is only going to learn and get better if someone points out the errors.

To the author: You switch from past to present tense, sometimes in the same sentence. There are a lot of different kinds of mistakes (so many that I got distracted) and I highly suggest you get someone to edit for you. That way you'll learn and get better! If you don't want to do that, you can use Google to find many helpful articles on the basic rules for writing English. Good luck!

lol, IT'S WHY I RUINED MY X WHORE WIFE IN DIVORCE COURT CAUSING HER TO MOVE 7,000 MILES AWAY! GOOD RIDDANCE!

It's a good story but there are some mistakes in this story.