by Gojenngo
Liked this story so much that i sent the link to several of my friends..
steamy...
i love vampires, but this sounds more like me and my man...
if, at some point, you come back to edit this, may i point out that you occasionally use words that sound like the ones you intend to use, but have inappropriate meanings for the context. for example: (used/intended) braking/breaking (after which it seems that "contact" would work better than "contract," but considering the relationship of the characters, "contract" is also appropriate); plain/plane; chaise/chaste... actually, those were the only ones i noticed.
please don't be offended by my comment, it is merely the rambling of an exhausted, horny, girl with a bad case of grammar OCD (which does not extend to capitalization, if you were wondering). although your story could use a sprinkling of commas, it was very well written, and conjured up vivid images that i thoroughly enjoyed.
Very hot and steamy. I love vampires, and this was amazing.
Very nice images...
Just work on your puncuation and grammer.
Lauren xx
That was great! I love vampire stories and that is one of the best I've read.
I searched and searched for a good, dominant vampire story and found it in this one. I had lost all hope due to the fact that cliches had taken over most of the stories I had read before this.
I loved this story. Vampires have always been one of my favorite stories to read on this site. You have done a good job in capturing the essence of his power and his lust. I'd love to see a sequel. (I haven't checked for one yet) But, I'd love to see one if it hasn't already been made. I like your working, and using words that are similar but not the normal ones is more engaging for those who read quite a bit.
As a writer, and a poet I enjoyed your work. You introduced the characters, allowed them to play a moment before getting to the steamy romance scene.
100%
Mistress Darkness
I absolutely love ur work ... Ur stories are so hot!!!
don't stop writing!!!
Definitely Hall of Fame material i LOVED it! and im excruciatingly picky when it comes to my literature! Bravo!