All Comments on 'A Debt Paid Ch. 01'

HURRY UP AND CONTINUE PLEASE! I LOVE THIS STORY SO FAR :)

Omg...keep it going its perfect!!!

I see this as a good idea, story wise. However, the transformation was too fast to be possible by any means. The speed of the transformation goes beyond a reasonable ability to suspend reality. Such a transformation would take time and energy. The amount necessary would have released enough heat to set that car on fire in the time you gave it. Good writing must be believable.

Other than the transformation issue, enjoyable.

I like these kinds of stories but I agree, slower transformation is the best. I usually don't even read stories unless its 3+ pages so for people like me stretch it out, explore character depth. Sex isn't what makes a good story like this, it's how the characters react to what's happening to them. You've got a lot of that but if you slow down the change I think you can get more.

I love the twist of turning a man into a woman to pay his gambling losses off. This is so orginal. Your writing is very good and your story built the up the plot very nicely but you ending this story in the wrong place. I feel it would have been better to continue with the exploration of her new body and the boss taking her for the first time so she will be in love or beholding to him. That way the story ends with the reader wanting to know what is going to happen next because now she is the bosses property to use as he wishes.