All Comments on 'A Dragon's Tale Ch. 22'

Anxiously awaiting Your next work....excellent work....

Absolutely LOVE this series. And no worries on the edits - i know how easy it is to miss stuff when you proof read your own work!

Heres hoping Ethan can achieve the same level of Drago power at some point.

My only frustration is the repetition. It does feel like we're reading the same internal debate with Rachel every chapter. I know there'll be a plot turn at some stage but i think theres a fine line between yearning and the audience slapping their foreheads. Then again she is a teenager in love and seems prone to overthinking.

Also i somehow doubt shed be completely subservient.... considering the main dynamic Ethan has with her is that he trusts her advice and guidance.

The characterisation and story seem at odds with what Gabriella keeps pushing - a traditional wives-give-up-agency attitude. Whereas the major dynamic in the story seems to be a more balanced teamwork with sub behaviour in the bedroom.

Anyhoo! Absolutely loving the story and how you have so many plot threads to keep us tantilised. I guess im just impatient for Rachel to get with the programme! And hope it doesnt take until the final battle to do so...

Outstanding!

Hope your personal situation clears up favorably for you. Take care.

Best part! 5 stars (She screwed up all her willpower and focused on making her index finger as solid as she possibly could, and then poked the Drago in the eye as hard as she possibly could.)

Great story, good luck with your personal situation. Hope it works out

Enjoyed that a lot!

A few spelling mistakes an editor would have picked up but they don't greatly detract from the story.

That was a good chapter! Okay, they've all been good, I'm just offering ongoing feedback to let you know your work is appreciated and it's fun seeing where you're taking this. Although I would love Smithbond to get his ass handed to him for his unconstitutional assaults.

I was on the edge of my seat! Which makes the sex scenes more gratifying it's the less is more phenomenon. You develop the characters their emotional state and individual connection to Ethan making them more then his Blonde, Brunnette, and big tittied red head that one usually gets in your average Harem story. On top of that the world building, magic system and pacing are well crafted and makes me more invested in this world. Many authors basically use this site to make a porn style story where the scenario just sets up the raunchy sex scenes. But the reason I come here is partially do to the mediocrity of regular porn I want a story that full fills my fantasies. I don't want to feel like I'm on the set of a porn shoot and the milf is "stuck" in a window with her ass and pussy conveniently available for fucking by her stepson it's cringy. But you give me the fantasy I crave which makes the release so much better then standard porn. So thankyou

Great chapter. I always wish for more and im sorry life is getting difficult really hope it gets better.

Great story. I hope all goes well for you from here on, getting you through whatever the situation is. You should come back and tell us what's happening, whether you can find time to write or not. God bless you and yours.

best of luck to you. will look for the next chapter

another great installment. Thank you for sharing with us. We will all be semi-patiently waiting for you to get back on track and continue with the Saga. 5 stars as usual.

Hope everything works out. Solid chapter.

Great story. This is just such an engaging tale. A lot of stories on this site like Three Square Meals have gotten really stale, but this one just keeps giving.

Loving the story. Hope everything goes well in your personal life. Your proof reading seems fine to me.

With so many testis starting to think Ethan's going to start carrying them around in a sack or something.

I think this is shaping up as one of the greats.

May things work out for you personally.

Such an amazing story, can't wait for the next part.

At least the sub-topic of "procrastination" seems about to be addressed. It is a wonder why Ethan has pushed it off thus far. Such subject has been off the radar as far as the story has developed, but in reality it should have been a priority in an unknown place - safety first! The procrastination bled over to Rachel. Whereas the other women in the story have developed a path (even Hailey), Rachel is left procrastinating (by design or birth as none of the current generation have any reason to make choices. That is among the outcomes of indulgent upbringing)

Repetitive scenes of mornings of triple BJ encounters ensue. I imagine it would get boring at some point (as it does in this world...). I imagine that comes from an unimaginative author and the ability to cut/paste entire scenes. It might be time to go back and count the obligatory "embarrassed teen siren", "unnecessary apologies (for trifles)", and overuse of "absolutes" (i.e. NEVER in his/her life...; hottest EVER...; etc.) in occurrence and repetition.

Smokepole

At this point it's a bit retarded for Ethan not to start enchanting himself, it's almost enchanting is strictly used as plot device, which is interesting but at this point I'm tired of it

I can't believe that you did it again, "Yawed" in one sentence then two lines later the correct "Yawned" was used. And yes, you still need editing help! (But what a Dragon vs Drago battle, top marks for that) ;-) TTFN

I am really enjoying your "Dragon's Tale, I find myself involved in the characters problems and I try to think of ways to help them through their difficulties, ... so, good job! and well done! '-) TTFN

I love the story!

Surely Rachel could marry Ethan and join their club and still practice magic. I’m sure she wouldn’t get as far compared to doing it full time however her family could easily make it so she could set aside half a day every day and study and practice magic. None of the wives or Ethan would want to crush her dreams. Given that, it’s also not likley that archmage can be achieved without full time dedication. Then we have the dragon scale birthmark that marks her as being in Alana’s lineage so Rachel would get extra life span from that. On top of all that being half bonded to Ethan seems to increase Rachel’s magical abilities.

So given all that. Family willing to allow her tome for study and practice, increased lifespan over regular humans and increased magical abilities due to half bonding with Ethan so full bone would be better. Then she might get to be an Archmage not despite her family but because of her family!

Ethan and his wives won’t pump out a continuous stream of kids forever. They would have kids in a block. How many and how long in time that block is remained to be seen. Then the kids leave home and there is more time for magic practice yet again..

Gabriella’s dreams for Rachel. The dreams were not ‘this is how to become an Archmage and this is what happens when you marry Ethan.’ No no no. It was a this is with Ethan and this is without Ethan. Rachel was never told she couldn’t or wouldn’t become an Archmage by marrying Ethan. Rachel was told that she would be enormously happy, live with Alana, have children that were extraordinarily close to Alana’s kids and that she would have a deliriously happy marriage to Ethan and love all his wives. IF she decided to marry Ethan. Then no Ethan was you’ll get Archmage and be the loneliest you’ve ever been, even more than now.

The dreams were snapshots of possible lives and the Archmage line was the default if she didn’t alter course willingly. As snapshots they didnt show everything in the life as that would take a lifetime! But more wives was hinted at. So why would a woman that’s prized by her guy as a magnificent mage who wants to be Archmage, her excellent battle skills and tactics have her dreams and abilities crushed by a husband that loves her? SHE WOULDN’T. Ethan would never do that to her. Of course family first and always but the advantage of more wives is help so Archmage study can still easily happen. Ethan would probably insist on it. I think Gabriella didn’t show this because she wanted Rachel to chose Ethan and his wives for who they are and who she loves and not just an easier way to Archmage and have it all.

So rachel has been shown the path of love and the path of academia. She must chose one, but was never told that love excluded the othe entirely. Gabriella did say “these are POSSABILITIES.”

Point 1. Gabriella the angle name is suspiciously close to the Archangel Gabriel in the fictional works of the classic tale known as the Bible. I like the linking as it makes keeping characters straight easier.

My sister di the academia line for life. She became a huge powerful lawyer in Sydney australia and a beyond expert kendo player or master or shatter you call it, several black belt levels and could only be tested in Japan and so on. Well she couldn’t manage her townhouse and her life and work all on her on. So work got priority. Then she was home invaded and a guy tried to rape her. Well her kendo gear was there and after being beaten badly and stripped naked she got to her gear got up and went ‘Full Kendo’ (my term) she had the bamboo slats Shini sword still in its cotton sleeve and with no hand guard on it. She assumed the stance for a bout and began. 3 points to win. Split his head to the bone straight down the middle, 1 point. 45° angle hit to the collar bone, shattered, 1 point. Hand comes up, wrist broken perfect cut, 1 point. 3 points, for 3 ‘cuts’ (strikes) attacker unconscious in her home blood from his head everywhere. And my sister pretty much broken. She had so much therapy and tried group therapy down the line. On her second visit she saw a guy and she instantly liked him ‘really’ liked him. She rang me and I told her to ask him out for a coffee after the next session. She bailed at that but I’m at have mentioned that she was already in therapy for the attempted rape and the utter brutality of her robust defence ( that’s what she couldn’t reconcile, using her beloved sport for its real intended use and so effectively) so of asking the guy out went bad then she could just add it to the therapy list.

Well they are now married with a 16 yo daughter and my sister loves her husbands HUGE cock! He isn’t a uni qualified professional like my sister but she loves him. He brings balance to her life and by looking after the home front while still working it enabled my sister to advance further and become a financial partner in her law firm. She also has a loving marriage a daughter and a clean house that’s organised and has food in it that’s not rotten, but her PA still does all her dry cleaning. Husband can’t be trusted with her clothes. Oh and she’s happy. She works has her family and trains kendo students but never competes. All possible because of almost getting raped putting her in front of her future husband who when married enabled her to advance even further in her career. The only rule that can never be broken is that if Simon puts something in her calendar or asks her to come home, then she must attend to whatever the calendar says without being late no changes no arguments or even discussions, come home calls require everything on her desk to be just left as is and her computer docs is open to be saved and then she has to just get up and walk out locking her door and if still in business hours she locks her door tells her PA that Simon phoned and to walk out. The PA knows to smooth things over and make room in her schedule and so on. She had had her PA since almost the start it’s her first one and they made a deal, the PA would do everything possible to help way and in turn my sister would talk her with her as she got promoted and headhunted and so on. Loyalty breed’s loyalty.

So a real life situation where dire straits and adversity in a cold but successful life led to love if you decided to just take it and that love allowed her professional career to flourish and exceed expectations BECAUSE OF LOVE not despite love.

My life is the same but not as dramatic by any means and I grabbed hold of my wife quite early and she was a very unexpected find in a very unexpected place. Older nurse, a goddess, in a shit hole aboriginal community in the Northern Territory Australia. I was just a young pilot getting my hours up. In the end after a hard and fast romance we married. In the community we basically lived together from day one after first sex. My broken down caravan or her territory health supplied very nice house. Every night we were together cooking together and sleeping together. Only the location changed. I got a better job and couldn’t pass it up and Lee just assumed that that she was coming with me and I thought the same. In fact I never asked her. I had flown my aeroplane into Darwin for the interview, got he job and was back at the community at 1 pm and was packing. I didn’t even know where the new community was in the Northern Territory as my next company was flying me in. Lee was happy until another nurse pointed out that I hadn’t asked her to come with! Then the tears then her best friend came over to yell at me. I couldn’t understand it and said “ why wouldn’t she come?” Yeah don’t assume things like that. I asked her she said yes and I left 2 hours later leaving her to pack up her dog and her stuff and even my stuff that I hadn’t taken and she drove after me.. anyway havinh Lee as my wife enabled me to work for companies doing jobs that I never knew existed and that how the companies like it, while still having a wife a daughter and a home that functions. My wife is still an nurse and has advanced to be a nurse manager working 8 - 4 no shift work, and my daughter is in uni.

So Rachel has to truely think A she knows she loves Ethan and Alana and lives the others, B would Ethan really crush her dreams if he married or would he help her? Then knowing that decide on what’s left, not Ethan or not Ethan or Archmage or not Archmage BUT a life of love or a cold life without love. That is the true choice she’s be told has to be made and that she MUST consciously chose it or the default is the cold life of a lonely magician with a hot PA.

@ Anonymous. Re enchanting. I get what you’re saying. However enchanting was introduced at the very very start as a way to achieve things. Either new abilities or enhanced current abilities. Also the rules for enchantment were also clearly spelled out. So enchantments were introduced as an ingrained part of the story from the start.

I get how your saying they are being used as a Deus ex machina, or God out of the machine, or we are all about to die but luckily while no one was looking I went to the toilet and found that super weapon that I left there from ages ago that no one has noticed and I forgot about till right then…. That’s how poorly written movies fix plot holes when they paint themselves into a corner.

But Ethan was told in the very first chapter that enchanting requires more mana each time so you top out but for a Dargon since it’s difficult to do and uses so much mana that dragons just do it to grow bigger. The assumption is that a dragon twice the size is twice as strong and has scales twice as thick and can take twice the pounding. But considering that twice the size in s ISS not weight would make him 4 times heavier the everything would be 4 times better. So he was told two options. He was also clearly told that dragons didn’t use spells but instinctually did magic and they could learn what was needed in times of great need.

No those were the rules. In practice Ethan was busy being a right cunt to everyone and living in denial and never bothered to embrace what was available to him, instead trying to force his USA culture and beliefs and science upon everyone in a little place of ten kingdoms (we would call them ten warlords, almost) who don’t even know about the globe thing and think that the everything ends at the barbarian lands that surround them. No one has asked “ What’s past the barbarians? And what’s past that?” Strange since they can fly and have the equivalent of AC130 Spooky gunships. Go look you lazy fucks. Ethan did what the USA does, ignore the local rules, environment, abilities, offerings and religious beliefs. Then overlay yours as superior and the only right way and use extreme malice as required.

So once Ethan figured out that the USA is a dimension away and his friends are dying here then he needed to get with the program. He got Alana to give him the master course in enchantment. This happened the day they got on the airship Argos. He was crap, because it was like spell magic sort of and not instinctual magic. So he failed hard. However the enchantment theme was continued and it had advanced from its possible, to this is what it is, to this is the rules, to this is how dragons do magic, to here is enchanted weaponary, to trying to make lightning magic, to realising that enchantment might help, to upgraded enchanted equipment, to enchanting the smallest part of himself that would give him a speed or reaction increase instinctively in a time of stress.

So I see the progression and that Ethan has always been behind and have always been pissed off that he’s not embracing his inbuilt magic. Instead he’s all USA military all the way, just brute force every time. So enchanting himself should have come earlier and I don’t think it’s cheating as everyone in the world has acess to it and magic. Also Ethan can just grow his size because his wives are small and he’s already extra tall. So enchanting is the way and he has mana pouring in due to three wives already so hard core enchanting is possible now.

But upgrades during battle… that’s bullshit I agree 100%. Hand to hand death matches require 100% concentration so giving the focus to upgrades would mean dead dead dead.

I love the story idea and the plot.however yes there are points that drag and are annoying. However I can gloss over that and take the story as a whole. It’s entertaining and imaginative to a degree and new. I like the ‘person transported to another world’ stories and there isn’t a tag for them so I can only stumble upon them.

This isn’t a professional author and we haven’t paid so I believe this allows a great latitude. If we encourage and give helpful advice then this story might get better and the author might not quit leaving a half done story and we might get other stories after this one.

It’s worth thinking about.

I don't like this choice for Rachel.

I agree with Jackspeed2u that nothing says she can't have Ethan and become an Arch mage. The problem is Rachel basically said that a while back. That becoming an arch mage is dangerous and being one is also. Any little slip up and she could die. That would leave her kids without a mom. I know Ethan has other wives to take care of the child, but I don't see Rachel as the kid to accept the risk. She knows what it's like growing up in a one parent family. Yes Ethan is way different than Rachel's father, but that's not the only factor. What if the child grows up feeling like an outsider? She(?) only has one parent while the others have two. That might cause resentment and harsh negative feelings. Although that could give the author the bad guy for a future story. Interesting.......

Just my thoughts and feelings,

Buddy J.

Anyone else grossed out by the "get married and have children or ye shall be old and sad and alone" messaging? This story is great, it could be great without that element. And poly relationships absolutely can and do work without anyone being "in charge".