All Comments on 'A Favour'

I felt their volcanic climax too!!

I love the eventual joy of succumbing to another man - and finding release in submitting to his loving fuck! I'd love to read a developing story telling how their relationship evolves. Thanks for writing!

Very very good. Had me hard and believing this was happening right in front of me, yes it was that good. Hope there is another chapter coming, would like to see David taking Josh's cum in both his mouth and ass. When they become a couple, that would really complete the story.

That was beautiful! I wish I was there! :)

Such amazing writing. I felt every moment as though i wes there.

Who needs porn with hot stories like this?

Well written I could picture this in my mind and was very turned on. I could picture myself as Josh sucking my friends cock to give him some relief. If you write a second chapter I would like to see David talk Josh into servicing his cock on a regular basis but not returning the favor.

It would be amazing to have an experience like this.

I'm a woman and really enjoy reading male gay erotica. Especially the "first time" ones… it's so hard to find ones that aren't featuring teenagers!

This was the best (The. Best) one I've ever read. So so hot.

hot well told and very erotic. every boy should try this.

This is the second time I've read this and it's just as engaging as the first time - the sign of a good story well told for me. Here's to diving into part 2!

So sorry- I clocked four instead of five (on my phone). I’ll be more careful next time!

amazingly hot..hard me hard almost from the middle

Hot!

I used to think I was str8, but when I had sex with a man for the first time, wow. This story brought back happy memories for me and make me glad that my marriage is sexless.

Can I make a suggestion? This story would be better if written in the first person. "Josh" and "David" all through it just to keep track of who is doing what to whom. And I think it's much sexier to be inside the head of a cock sucker. Otherwise, it's a pretty good stroke story.

Love it, was awesome.

Amazing story. Had me hard from the beginning! Love it!

Wow.... nice story.

There is just something about the way you build the scene. Amazing! <3

An example of a great short story that really packs a punch. Josh and David are two hard up men who help each other out. They learn how to do sex differently and discover a level of satisfaction they never imagined. The passion builds with a sense of real heat and spontaneity, the presentation of the action feels surefooted and authentic with slick transitions from position to position. I’ve favourited the story and feel satisfied with each reading.

Hard all throughout. I wanted to taste David and feel him inside me the same as Josh.

Loved the oral part between Josh & David, the descriptions and feelings of passion between them as things progressed was hot. I would love to experience this with a close friend, too bad my wife wasn't adventurous as I would love to share my desire to suck cock with her. Instead, if I ever do act on this growing desire, I'm likely to do it behind her back. Ladies...if you "think" your man might be interested in this why not bring it up in some dirty talk, see how he reacts when you describe his smooth hot hard cock sliding in and out of your mouth, the sent and taste and feeling on your tongue as you lick his masculine musky balls etc. Suggest how good it feels sliding between your lips, what a turn on the scent and taste is. If he reacts by getting more passionate...you might be onto something! Try scooping some of his cum from your pussy and sharing it with him or push him down on you after he's cum and talk dirty to him...you might just find out he could easily be talked into sucking a cock with you if you were open to it yourself? I know I would, especially with a good friend. Bucket list thing for me.

Let me preface that I'm not a writer and I'm no scholar. It's possible that an actual writer or scholar would disagree with my comments. It's also possible that there are bunch of issues with the way I wrote the feedback (specially since I did notgo back proofread) TLDR: I really like your storytelling but I feel like it there are some things that detract from your art.

the story at face value is definitely hot but there was something awkward about the way some sentences were written that kept pulling my attention away from the scene. Much of the phrasing seems really unnatural. An example is "immediately before" that was used in the middle of the first page (i think). I understand what you're trying to convey but those two words in that sequence does not make sense.

I appreciate the amount of detail you've included in the scenes but some parts are really unnecessary wordy. For instance "was flushed, his mouth parted slightly, cum still gripping tenaciously to the underside of his chin." I can't tell if gripping was supposed to be dripping and I'm unsure if tenacious makes sense in either scenario.

Lastly, the use of pronouns were confusing at times. There were some sentences that described both characters but they're referenced as either he or him. Like: he did x to him and he really enjoyed it. The reader will need to use information from surrounding sentences to decipher who did x, who was x done to, and which of these two enjoyed the act. Not sure what convention could be applied to clarify but including a proper noun might be the first step.

Great work! this story would be perfect if you can work out some kinks. I hope what I wrote is helpful and/or constructive -- i definitely wouldn't have taken the time to leave this if I didn't enjoy reading the story.

This is one of the best stories, and very believable. Two thirty something guys, not having experienced a great sex life with women, find ecstasy with each other. I find no need for David to switch positions. Maybe being oral with Josh, but leave both of them satisfied as David being the top. Thank you , this is one I will re-read often.

I’m inclined to agree with that other comment, it would be better to write a story as coming from the author, rather than an observer. There were times I would have to back up to decipher who was doing what. I wrote another comment which said I loved your story, still do, and I’ve already re-read it twice! Thank you