A Fresh Start

He pulled away, both of them rolling onto their backs. He turned his head to look at Tessa. Her hair was splayed out on the pillow, her breasts leaned slightly to either side, forming a valley between them, her stomach looked flat, the closely trimmed triangle led down to her tightly clenched thighs. He wanted to study every bit of her body, with his eyes, his hands, and his mouth.

"I need to go clean up," she told him, her voice sounding reluctant, as if she didn't really want to get up. Adam sat up, gently pulling on her knee to open her legs.

"I don't know, I might be weird, but I find my cum leaking out of you pretty sexy," he admitted. Tessa smiled at him. He wasn't sure exactly what came over him, but he swiped a finger gently through her folds and brought it up to her. Her gaze switched between his face and his finger and then she lifted her head and took the finger in her mouth, sucking the mixture of them off.

She got up after that though and went into the bathroom to clean up while he lay on the bed, his arms folded behind his head. Adam's feelings for her have erupted in the past twenty-four hours. He found himself caring so deeply about her, wanting so much to comfort her and please her.

"You're absolutely amazing, Tessa. I just can't understand why anyone would want to hurt you, ever," he blurted out when she walked back into the room. She had been smiling, but her smile changed at his words. Her lips were still spread into a smile, but her eyes looked sad, contemplative. She seemed to be thinking over how to respond while she picked up her t-shirt and pulled it on.

"I was really bad at being a girlfriend, at... doing all the things that the role of a girlfriend demanded," her voice sounded slightly sarcastic. He watched her face as she sat down at the edge of the bed. He turned toward her, propping his head up in his hand. She didn't really believe that, did she? That feeling in the pit of his stomach slammed back into him as her response took on a new light.

"Did he actually physically hurt you?" Adam's brow furrowed. She didn't rush to respond with a 'no' and he felt his heart pick up speed.

"He didn't hit me," her eyes were piercing his, as if willing him to read between the lines, figure out the things that she wasn't saying. "A slap, now and then," she looked away at those words. "Mostly it was just... trying to restrain me."

Trying to restrain her?! From what? Her eyes returned to his, scanning for understanding. She bit the corner of her lip, her face serious now. There was pain in her eyes and he desperately tried to make his brain work to figure out what she wasn't saying.

"I fought him for a long time, but eventually I realized that he liked that, that that's exactly what he wanted. So I stopped resisting." Understanding washed over him and it was horrifying.

"He raped you?!" She didn't say anything to confirm or deny his statement. Her eyes stayed glued to his and she sighed deeply. Adam was sitting up now, just opposite Tessa, anger and fury hammering inside him. "For thirteen years?!"

"No, no," she shook her head, "it was just a normal relationship at first. We met in college, we moved in together after graduating, the first few years were fine. He's always had kind of a bad temper, but he didn't really take it out on me. My friends didn't like him and the longer I stayed with him, the more my friends pulled away, withdrew. But... It happened slowly, over time." She fidgeted with her hands. "He'd get a little rough once in a while, he'd push a little when I was reluctant or tired, and I can't even say exactly when it became... constant." Her gaze was on her hands. "In the last few years, the only sex we've ever had was him restraining me and forcing himself on me."

YEARS. The word kept ringing in Adam's head. She lived with this for years. He leaned in and pulled her into an embrace, holding her tightly against himself, feeling overwhelmingly protective and simultaneously weak because it wasn't in his power to undo those years of pain.

"How did you finally get out?" He asked her, understanding that in that situation, it probably wasn't easy to just walk away.

"There was a Christmas Party at work and Felix didn't want me to go. He didn't like me going to parties without him. But my co-workers, most of whom were guys, roped me into going anyway. I, of course, never told anyone about what things were like at home and they were all like 'oh, you deserve some fun, he'll get over it.'" Adam didn't like where this was going, imagining a terrible ending to that night. "My boss drove me home afterward and I had a panic attack in his car when he pulled up to my house. I was absolutely terrified of going in there and facing Felix after being dropped off by another man. He'd be furious, accusing me of cheating on him, in addition to disobeying him and going to that party. I just couldn't face him. My boss is in his mid-forties, married, and has four daughters, ranging in age from 6 to 18 and when I had this breakdown in his car, being afraid to go inside my own house because of what my boyfriend would do, he drove away and took me straight to the police station." Adam breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Good. He did the right thing." He told her quietly.

"Please don't ask me why I didn't leave sooner, it's not that simple." Tessa's voice was pleading.

"I won't. I can only imagine how difficult it was." Adam pressed his lips to her neck, just behind her ear. "You are so amazingly strong and resilient and brave," he whispered to her. He didn't ever want to let her go again.

****

He was the first person with whom she shared all the details of the past five months. Dealing with the police, the medical exams, her unsupportive parents who thought that it was her fault, for having pre-marital sex and moving in with a man she wasn't married to and now she was paying the price for her poor choices. Tessa told him about how much she hated being asked why she hadn't left sooner. She told him about the struggle she and Felix were still in over the mortgage on the house that they had bought together. Adam knew, and he was still there, being supportive and loving and comforting.

She felt like a new person, in many ways. He made her feel smart and beautiful and strong, which in turn boosted her confidence. After years of put-downs from Felix, it wasn't easy to believe everything that Adam said, right off the bat, but she learned to believe his sincerity. Tessa's libido experienced an incredible jump-start with him. Being in control has become a major turn-on for her and Adam seemed intent on pleasuring her in every possible way he was capable of. He listened, he asked questions, he felt more like an equal partner than Felix ever had. There were days when she woke up next to Adam in bed, looked over his beautiful, kind face, and she couldn't believe she was lucky enough to find him.