All Comments on 'A Gift of The Goddess'

Writing could be better but loving the story and development so far

Thank you for taking the time to read and review. The storyline is a work in progress much like my writing and grammar 😀

Hmm... Can't help but notice

Is this based on a certain hentai manga about a certain green haired femboy priest and the 2 (futa) heroes?

Not that that's bad. This story is amazing. Almost like an expanded universe. And it makes me coom so hard anyway.

I'd be lying if I didn't admit Juukou's storyline inspired me but I also borrowed liberally from a lot of places

A lot of fun and very hot, but the confusion between "Max" and "Yuri" was very unclear at times. That said, well worth continuing if you have any idea for where to take it.

At times I thought you were having max break the 4th wall but saying DnD terms. Had me confused a bit. Regardless I loved the story.

Thank you all so much for taking the time to read and comment. Max used to be Yuri, actually he used to be a great many things before I settled on the version that currently exists. And yes, he uses DnD terms both for in-universe reasons and because DnD is quite literally part of my character creation process.

Love the story, love the sex.

But you need to work on keeping your writing point of view straight, it keeps going to first person for a line or two. Also Max changes to Yuri several times.

Aside from that, love it.

I always prefer to leave a bit more elaborated comments, so this one will be exactly like this. As an author, I like to receive feedback like this too.

Overall - that was an amazing story, fun, hot and kinky, but with some build up and world creation. All these references to RPG stats and skills, as for someone who grew up playing games like Diablo, Baldur’s Gate etc., were really amusing and hit my sweet spots. There were moments that I thought that the main character would break the 4th wall, but it turned out to be only teasing, fun though.

The story had elements I like very much, like seemingly innocent femboys and strong, muscular futas with huge cocks - honestly, what’s not to like? :) I’m glad that Eve and Katrina weren’t too abusive and violent and they seemed to at least respect Max’s powers and abilities. I would love to see them treating him with more care and tenderness, but I understand that it’s not a story for such interactions ;)

The first scene in which Eve took Max was crazy hot, the same as ‘cuckolding’ goblin’s leader (crazy, but exciting idea) and group action in the brothel.

The only minor issues I encountered and which made me stumble a bit during reading were occasional missing quotation marks in the beginning of some dialogues. And in a few parts there was a sudden change to first person perspective, I don’t know if that was intended. But it still wasn’t enough to lower my rate, which is 5 stars. Looking forward to the continuation!

Thank you all so much for your help and support. I'm trying to work out the kinks (pun fully intended) in my, and I use this term loosely, "writing style" I an working on a second chapter which will hopefully be less schizophrenic

You have a very good talent for writing. And good futa-on-male stories are rare. Keep up the good work.

Beside some small and unimportant writing errors, I think maybe the sex scenes needed more detailing. It felt like the sex scenes were just there for character development and thus heavily summarized.

I would like you to recommend reading from a few authors that have same taste (at least in this story) as you. In this site actually. Maybe read some from these guys, see if you can get any reference.

'DamienDeath20'

'ScumDumpster69'

'Westfjordian'

'thereshegoes123'

I hope this helps

Thank you reading and reviewing, ironically you've named several of my favorite writers on the site so I am absolutely going to polish my craft by studying

Just fucking brilliant!

Breaking the stereotype of horny Bard for horny Cleric. Enjoyed the mix of fantasy in erotic writing. Saw bits of myself as the adorable Cleric/Bard. Definitely kinky D&D style story

Thanks so much for reading and I'm glad I made Max believably real