A Girl Named Mitch Ch. 04

It seemed like it was over in no time, and we were back in Athens for our Senior year. I still hadn't spoken to my father, but I was in contact with Mom and Charlotte again, which made me feel better. We had Carrie over for dinner the first night she got back into town, and we compared notes on our internships. She had loved her summer in Orlando, and was already talking about moving there after graduation.

"If they offer me a job I'll probably take it. You know the National Tennis Center is there, and there are several other smaller clubs. How about you? You gonna be moving up to Atlanta after graduation?"

"Maybe, I'm not sure."

"Didn't you like it?"

"Yeah, but I just want to keep my options open."

The truth is I wasn't sure where Mitch would end up, and I didn't want to say anything that would worry or influence her.

Mitch shook head as she sat next to me, putting her arm around my shoulder. "At least you two are actually going to be graduating in the spring."

Carrie gave Mitch a bemused look. "You aren't graduating?"

"I'll have enough credits to walk, but I still have to do my student teaching somewhere before I get my license, and I won't be able to do that until next fall."

"Do you know where you'll be doing it?"

Mitch shook her head. "They won't be giving out the assignments until the end of fall semester. Assuming they have enough. My GPA isn't nearly as high as a lot of the others, so I'm not going to get my pick. And I'll still be a student here, even if I'm not on campus, so I have to figure out a way to pay for it."

I'll admit I worried about it a lot. What would we do after graduation? How do we go forward? These hard decisions seemed so much closer this side of summer, and I could begin to see the Sword of Damocles hanging over our future.

I wasn't sure if I was projecting, but it seemed like Mitch was getting more and more nervous about things in general. I probably would have distanced, but Mitch had the opposite reaction, holding me a little tighter, being more giving when we made love, overall just showing an odd amount of deference.

I finally worked up the courage to ask her about it one Sunday morning as we lay in bed.

"Sweetheart, what's bothering you?"

"What? Nothing."

I turned in her arms, running my fingers through her short, dark hair. God, she had the most beautiful eyes. "I may not be as good at reading people as you are, but I know something's up. You don't have to hide from me. You know that right?"

Mitch took a deep breath. "I just, I don't know."

"C'mon, tell me. Is it about school?"

She shook her head. "Not exactly. The end of school."

"Yeah, I've been thinking about it too. What are we going to do?"

"I won't be able to get a job until after I get my license. Maybe not until the next fall. And who knows where that'll be. I'll probably have to move home, at least over the summer. It's gonna be so hard to afford anything else."

"And you don't think they'd let you bring me with you?"

A spark of hope flashed in her blue eyes. "Would you even consider that?"

I propped myself up on my elbow. "Of course I would. Why wouldn't I?"

"But it would only be for the summer, and then I'd have to go wherever my student teaching is. And you have to start your career. I don't want to hold you back."

"Sweetheart, you won't, I promise. I don't have to make any decisions about where I'm going until next semester. I'll probably do some interviews, but nothing more. We will figure it out. As long as we're together."

"So we're going to last? Past school?"

I was hurt. "Well, yeah. What'd you think, that I was just going to go home? Lesbian until graduation?"

"I'm sorry. I just know how hard it was for you this summer, defying your parents."

I closed my eyes and collected my thoughts. "Michelle, I know I'm not the most expressive person in the world, and if I've ever left you in doubt about how I feel I'm sorry." I looked deep into her eyes, which were shining with emotion. My whole body felt shaky, but I forced my voice to stay as calm as possible. "Let me clear this up right now. I love you. I am so in love with you that the concept of not being with you over this summer, or in ten years, or fifty years from now, hurts too much to even think about." I took her hand. "I want this, you and me, forever. And if I have to choose between you and my family, I will choose you. Everyday, always. I want a life, a family, with you." I cupped her cheek with my palm. "Do you understand?"

Mitch nodded, her eyes swimming with tears.

"Michelle, is that what you want?"

"God, Cindy, yes. Please, yes."

"Okay then. We are going to figure this out. And we'll get through it, whatever it takes, together."

She was still nervous as the end of the semester approached, but it didn't have anything to do with me. A few weeks before finals I had a group project meeting for my Poli-Sci class on a Saturday afternoon. Firstly, who does that? Even I'm not that big of a nerd. But anyway, when I got back to the apartment there was a candle burning on our little table, which was covered by a white tablecloth with two places set. I hung up my backpack, grinning at the set up.

"What's the occasion?"

Mitch was wearing an apron, but underneath was one of her nicer button downs and jeans. "I have some news." She came up and kissed me, and when we broke apart I was able to fully appreciate both her dancing eyes and the fact the whole apartment smelled like garlic and oregano.

"I take it it's good news?"

"You could say that."

"So are you gonna tell me, or do you want to feed me first?"

"You hungry?"

I heaved a sigh. "Starving."

"Well then, have a seat, and I'll do both."

I sat down and Mitch carried over a pan which was filled with Pasta Bolognese, one of my favorite things Mitch made. "Ooh, yummy!"

"I thought you'd approve."

I scooped some onto my plate and took a bite, excellent as always. "Mmm, that's delicious, sweetheart. Now what's going on?"

Mitch served herself a generous portion and sat down. "Well, yesterday I got a call from Principal Solomon."

"From your old high school?"

"Yep. Anyway, she wanted to know if I'd be graduating, and I told her the situation. It turns out Mrs. Simmons, one of our PE teachers, her husband got a promotion, and she's moving to Miami with him. Principal Solomon asked me if I wanted to do my student teaching there, and then take over the position the next semester."

My mouth was hanging open. "Seriously?"

Mitch shrugged and nodded, fighting back a smile by biting her lower lip with her front teeth. "I told you they loved me there".

I jumped to my feet, holding out my arms. "Honey, that's wonderful! I'm so excited for you!"

"For us." We embraced, and she rocked me in place. "You know what this means, right? I've already talked to my dad. We can just move to my parent's until you find a job, and when you know where you'll be working we can find a place in between."

A tear leaked free from my eye. "This is really happening, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is. You and me. But you know what's happening first?"

I grinned up at her. "What?"

"Dinner. This sauce is killer."

I laughed the way only Mitch could make me laugh, and we sat back down.

I lay in bed that night, listening to Mitch's gentle breathing as she held me. She'd been in a fantastic mood, and my body was still humming from the very thorough pleasuring it had just received. I'm pretty sure I'd given as good as I gotten, which made me happy, since it was Mitch's big day, after all.

But, of course, there was still one massive thing hanging over me. I'd have to let my parents know what was happening. It was one thing to sneak off for a summer, but if I was going to move to Florida permanently to live with Mitch I was going to have to tell my parents something.

***

I didn't sleep much that night, or for several nights following. Eventually Mitch worked it out of me what I was worried about.

"So what do you want to do, sweetheart?"

"I don't know!" I buried my head in Mitch's shoulder. "What should I do?"

"I wish I knew, baby." She rubbed my arms. "Are you going to go home for Thanksgiving?"

"Yeah, I think so, just to see what's really going on."

"You talk to your dad yet?"

I shook my head. "I've talked to Mom, and I know Dad won't kick me out if I show up. But I'll get a lecture for sure."

Mitch chuckled.

"Don't laugh at me."

"I'm sorry."

She didn't stop, and her infectious laugh soon had me giggling along, making me feel better. Mitch pulled me in for another hug, rocking me in her strong arms. "No matter what, I come back to this, right?"

"Of course. All yours."

So I went home for Thanksgiving. I did my very best to be deferential and accommodating and to not cause waves, but it was hard. The entire weekend was a parade of extended family, and I couldn't help but be struck by how backward and bigoted they were. How had I never really noticed before?

My mother intimated to my aunts that I would be moving home after college. "Oh, I can't wait for Cindy to be home again. It's been so hard having her away. And, back among wholesome, hard working boys instead of those liberal college people, I'm sure she'll be wanting to start a family soon."

I heard her talk about Carl and Bridget, too, mentioning often that Bridget's father and grandfather were preachers, and never once mentioning that she was half Guatemalan. I also noted how they all talked about their children. I had a number of cousins on both sides of the family, and the male ones were certainly praised for their families, but also how well they were doing in their careers or sporting exploits for the ones still in school, but the girls, apparently the only things of worth they were capable of was getting married and having babies, exclusively in that order.

Whenever one of my aunts would be talking about their grandchildren and notice I was there, they would pat me on the shoulder and assure me I'd meet someone soon, generally using that condescending voice that comes so naturally to some people.

My father did give me the expected talking to. "I hope you've got that all out of your system, young lady. When you come home I won't tolerate that sort of defiance."

I didn't say anything, other than "Yes, Daddy." When he determined I'd been properly chastened he dismissed me, and I went into the kitchen to help my mother and Charlotte. Mom smiled at me, and I felt a connection to her, realizing we'd both been on the receiving end of those lectures more than a few times.

I also was acutely aware that I was going to break my mother's heart. In Mitch's arms the decisions seemed so easy, but here, in the house I'd grown up in, next to the woman who'd raised me, I understood why so many stayed in their proverbial closets, and how wanting to be with the person you loved could feel so damn selfish.

It changed nothing about what I planned to do, though. Now that it was so close to reality, I knew more than ever that I couldn't give what I had with Mitch up. It would be wrong on so many levels, and maybe it would inspire someone else from my little town that there were other options than hiding in the shadows for their entire lives.

The semester ended, and I had one more set of holidays to get through, and I managed to do so, although not without emotion. Mitch's situation had been finalized, and she was officially scheduled to be a student teacher in Tampa in the fall, and I imagined what my life would be like a year from now, realizing this would be the last Christmas I would have to spend apart from Mitch. It also might be the last I ever spent with my family.

Blessedly, spring semester started, bringing with it my final collegiate tennis season. Coach had told me she had me inked into the number six singles spot, and she wanted me to work with the new freshman as much as possible, which I did, of course. We had another very successful season, and my time on the tennis courts was a blessed relief from the anxiety surrounding the approaching end of school.

If I'd had any lingering doubts about going with Mitch after graduation, they were laid to rest on Senior Day. Mitch's mom and dad, as well as Carrie's parents, were all there for our last home match of the season. I still got to walk out and get flowers as everyone in the stadium applauded for me, but I had to do it alone.

My teammates and coaches were there, and the fans, and especially Mitch, but I'd never felt so abandoned. That night Mitch just took me into her arms as I cried and cried. Eventually I fell asleep, and my dreams were a turbulent mess. But throughout there was one thing that was consistent. Wherever Mitch was, there was peace and rest.

I woke up, still in her arms, feeling safe and loved. Mitch's fingers were running softly up and down my arm as I leaned against her.

She kissed me on the shoulder. "Morning, baby."

"Good morning. I love you."

Mitch pulled me close. "I love you, too."

"Will you do something for me?"

She kissed the back of my head. "Of course, baby. Anything."

"After graduation, will you come with me back to my parents' house? Help me get my stuff? I'm not going to take much."

"Sure. Of course."

"I'm going to tell them."

"And you want me there so your dad can shoot me in person?"

I giggled. "That's unlikely. Besides, Dad keeps his guns unloaded. You should have a sporting chance to run away."

"Guns, like, plural? How many plurals?"

"Um, two hunting rifles and a handgun. Oh, and a shotgun."

"Okay, see, when I said I'd go, I was being metaphorical."

I turned in her arms. "Really? You'd leave me there all alone?" I nuzzled her neck, making her sigh.

"If I'm going to risk my neck, what do I get?"

I kissed down lower, onto her collarbone and chest. "I'd be grateful."

"Ooh," she stroked the back of my head as my lips moved over her skin, "How grateful?"

I pushed her onto her back, moving lower, pulling up her tank top and kissing her flat, toned stomach. "Very grateful."

"Okay, oh, wow, you might be convincing me."

"I'll try harder then." I pulled off her boxers in one clean motion and settled between her legs. I let her flavor wash over me as I suckled her labia and clit, taking her higher and higher. If you're wondering, I never for one second thought Mitch would let me face my parents alone. I also knew the chances of my father pulling a gun on her were miniscule. A violent temper was not one of my father's many faults. Still, pretending to convince her was going to be a lot of fun, so I carried on.

We didn't get out of bed until almost noon, and I shooed Mitch off to the living room. I had work to finish. I knew that if I finished with a four point oh this semester I'd graduate summa cum laude, which had been a goal of mine since Freshman year. Mitch always joked that if I was graduating summa cum laude, she was graduating 'thank the laude', but I knew she was rooting for me as hard as anyone.

I also found out that week that I'd been voted onto the first team Academic All SEC team, which was awesome. Our season ending tournaments finished, and there was nothing left in my academic career but graduation. Mitch's parents came into town the day before, taking Carrie, Mitch and me out to dinner to celebrate. Carrie's parents and sisters would be here in the morning. She was taking the job in Orlando, where she'd interned, which was awesome, 'cause she'd only be a few hours away from us in Tampa..

It was kind of crazy. The ceremony came, a dazzling display of color and humanity, all packed into Sanford Stadium as Senator Chambliss reminded us that the world is a scary place and challenged us to bring light out of the shadows. It was a culmination of four years of study and change. To say that I was a different person today than I had been that day sprinting to my first class was a massive understatement.

I glanced over my shoulder toward the sea of caps and gowns, knowing the woman I loved was out there somewhere. She'd changed me, just like Coach Holiday and my professors. But no one more than Michelle Kirkpatrick. I think it's the final mark of adulthood, to stand up and make your own way in the world, to accept responsibility for your choices. Of course, I realized that I was moving into my girlfriend's parent's house for a moment, but still. For me it was huge, just like the world was huge.

And then it was over, and Mitch and I were lying in our bed for the last time. The boxes and suitcases were stacked by the front door, and Jack and Stacy would be here first thing in the morning. They'd take the vast majority back with them, and Mitch and I would head to my parent's house.

They still believed that I was staying. Carl and Bridget knew the truth, but I'd told them to stay away. I didn't want either of them hit with any stray animosity, although I promised to keep Carl updated, especially if things went sideways.

We made short work of loading Jack's truck, and by nine o'clock we were outside Athens driving through the Georgia countryside.

"That's crazy. The dirt in this state really is red, isn't it?"

I shook my head, appreciating Mitch's latest attempt at light conversation. "Yeah. Don't you remember from 'Gone with the Wind'? The red earth of Tara? You think they were making that up?"

"I don't know what I thought, but it's kind of creepy."

I laughed and looked back out the window, trying to keep my heart rate down. Eventually we pulled into town, and I took a few deep breaths.

Mitch reached over and took my hand. "So what's the plan?"

"I'm going to go in and talk to them, then I'll come out and get you."

"Alright."

"And if I come out running, start the truck."

Mitch gave a nervous chuckle. "Check."

I directed her to my house. She backed into the short driveway. That was probably a good idea, allowing for a much faster getaway if needed. Mitch squeezed my hand. "You're going to be okay. I'm right here, and I love you."

The sincerity in her face brought a tear to my eye, and I leaned over and kissed her, taking strength from her touch.

"Okay." I breathed deep, climbed out of the truck, and went inside.

My dad was sitting in his chair, reading the Sunday paper. He'd already changed out of his church clothes; they generally went to the early service. My mom came out from the kitchen with a smile. "Hello, sweetheart!" She gave me a hug, which I let linger, seeing as it would be my last for a very long time.

My father folded his newspaper and set it aside. "Do you need some help bringing things in, Cindy?"

"No, Dad. I'm not staying."

His gaze grew icy. "What exactly do you mean by that?"

I forced myself not to drop my gaze. "I'm not moving home, Dad."

"Where exactly do you expect to be going?"

"I'm moving to Tampa, Florida." I sucked in a deep breath as my heart thundered in my chest. "With Michelle. She's doing her student teaching there, and I'm going to get a job. Start my career."

"You're moving to a different state to be with your college roommate. You understand how that looks, how it will look to everyone here." The tone of his voice told me he already had suspicions. I guess I hadn't been as clandestine as I'd hoped.

"How does it look, Dad?"

"Like you are in a sinful relationship with that woman. I've seen her, you know, your doubles partner. People at the plant have shown me pictures from the internet. They've asked questions. I assured them you would never sully yourself in that way, that you would not embarrass this family like that. Tell me you haven't." His voice was frozen fire, and I could feel the fury building behind it.

"Haven't what, Dad? Haven't been with her? That I'm not gay? Is that what you're worried about?" I glanced at Mom, who'd lowered herself onto the couch, wearing a look of stunned disbelief.