All Comments on 'A Good Father Ch. 02'

The overuse of exclamation marks reduces the reading level and makes it unpleasant to read.

I suggest asking someone to edit it, as I stopped about half way through the first page even though I like the subject matter.

WOW! Good job; thanks for sharing your work!

Although everything progressed too fast for any daddy/ daughter relationship, and a lack of much foreplay... as much for the reader as it is for the characters... this is a fantasy.