All Comments on 'A Good Man: William's Story'

Better than a cuck or IR story as your first submission. BUT, it moved way too fast, no character build up, unbelievable scenarios, had a hard time making the characters real in my mind. You said he's older, how much older? Little things like that make the difference between a good story and mediocre. I gave you a 3 for stepping outside the box on your first story. Take a bit more time to flesh out the next submission, it's the little things that make a difference. Good luck.

Good premise.

Nut, boy do you need an editor/proofreader. You wrote: "gas peddle"; PEDDLE means to SELL. You meant PEDAL. Multiple other such errors including PASSED when you meant PAST.

She got into the car and imediately removed her panties. Huh? No explanation. No reason/rationale. No reaction from him.

Had real potential. Didn't deliver.

Three stars.

Liked it very much; would have given it a 4.5 if such a rating were available. The backstory of both characters was well done, informative re their states of mind but not overlong. Especially liked that the female was not demoted to "slut" for simply expressing the sexuality inherent in a passionate woman. More, please. (A sequel for her time at university, perhaps focusing on her development?)

Well done! First time author? Well done indeed!

Thanks to all for your comments. I am happy to see so much interest in my first try at this. A Good Man started out as a straight sex fantasy. You know, older man picks up young woman. As I wrote story evolved it became more realistic. I gave William and Ann personal histories and faults, and all does not go smoothly. It is a dance of two people trying to meet their own needs. Is William a good man or not, what do you think?

To those who want to know more about Ann, I agree. A Good Man: William’s Story is written from the man’s point of view. After I finished it I began asking, what about the woman’s experience of the encounter? My second submission A Good Man: Ann’s Story is written from Ann’s point of view. It should be available on Literotica in a couple of days. I am a man so I hope I got it right. Tell me what you think.

To proofreader Anonymous Thanks for the corrections. Spelling poorly has been the bane of my life. I will make the changes here as soon as I can. You can also read my stories on my blog.