by doobius
Looking forward to seeing where it goes in the next chapter
Thank you for your feedback.
As a very new writer each story is very much an experiment which I can only learn from fully when I receive feedback.
As for the sudden end - well if the story is reasonably well received I am intending another two or three parts. The next answering the question as to why Carol chose Andy, amongst other things. Two clues on this - no she is not a nympho slut, just a girl with a healthy appetite and two it's not because his phallos is super exceptionally long or thick.
First, the ending was very abrupt.
Second, you switch back and forth between first-person POV ("I boffed Carol...") and Third-person POV ("He/Andy boffed Carol...").
Showed promise, but lost momentum each time it jumped between past and present. Left me feeling dissatisfied at the end, so only three stars.