All Comments on 'A Hot Night With Mom'

Have read this storyline many many times before shower and all. Thanks for sharing.

Great story good detail please keep writting

MOM comes from work the next day with heavy Lipstick and makeup.

Seduces Rob into her bed.

The fucking lasts hours, days and weeks, when she suddenly bursts out.............Robby I am PREGNANT !!!!!!!!!!!!!

This wasn't an original concept, but it was entertaining. As the title of my comment states, however, it could have been a much better story if it had been properly edited. Using "to" instead of "too", "who's" instead of "whose", "pollution" where I'm pretty sure you meant "pollen", and really poor punctuation (just to mention a few details) ALL added up to a story that was just too muddled to rate those extra stars. I think you're capable of writing a better story. This one just lacked the extra effort you'd need to separate a "good" story from a "great" story.

And for the readers who read a comment that isn't 100% positive and feel it's necessary to cry out "IGNORE THE NEGATIVITY!!", remember that if you don't give honest criticism and input, you're not doing the author any favors. For the author of this story, and for ANY story here: Ignore any comment that instructs you to "ignore" negative comments. There's troll-ing, and there's honesty. Don't confuse the two.

19 year old Robb's a boy who's got his priorities straight. His mother offers him a blowjob but he firmly declines. First and foremost, he's got to stick his fat 8-incher up that wonderful magical hole between his mother's legs, he's just got to. He pushes his big cock past his mother's cunt-lips and finds "heaven itself." His mother's cunt "formed perfectly around my cock," no surprise there--after all, it's a son's cock coming back home to his own mother's cunt. Robb gives his mom a hot incestuous fuck, it's the best fuck of her life, of his too, and mom's cums like crazy. When her boy blows his hot young balls and floods her with a huge dose of his creamy sperm, mom screams with pleasure. Robb and his mother will be doing that a lot from now on.

This scenario has been done to death by much better writers, I found it boring as hell.

"This is my surprise, and great pleasure, I saw she was clean shaven" (...)

Another one a child, with shaved brains ..

5 Stars! There's a reason why "formula" stories abound. The theme is just so powerful. Nice exploration of a tried-n-true mom-son formula story. I'd like to see where you take this next. I would offer a guess, but I don't want to insult you by implying formula predictability.

Tons of grammatical errors and the plot and dialogue were one long cliché. It's no wonder the mothers in these stories are such retards.

yeah, there were a couple of misspelled words but that wasn't an issue for me, overall I liked reading the story. it's not that bad. MattressThrasher don't listen to them.

MattressThrasher, I like to read quick and dirty one page stories and you did a pretty good job. I have to agree that you need to get an editor. I was ok with most of the grammar and spelling errors until your mother used 'fowl' language. Sorry, I about lost it! All I could picture at that point was her clucking or gobbling to beat the band. Keep writing, take the good criticism with the bad and move your writing forward.

Daytymer

Was not the worst story I ever read on here, but the use of Grammar was pretty bad. You need a editor badly. And yes, you did use way to many cliques in your plot. Story plot itself wasn't to badly written.

Doug

I enjoyed the story and thought it was a good read.

Thanks

don't get me wrong the sex was hot. but you specified a place without naming it where the temperature was hot, and had water usage restriction.

First of all if it was so hot get 15 water gallon jugs from a store, or fill them up at home, then stick them in the refrigerator, then do a sink shower with them, or dump them all in the tub at once to relax in.

Besides there is no real way to measure the water you would have use to count for the 3 baths each both of them could use. overall a good story though.

Keep on writing the way you want and ignore these boobs. Anonymous critics are just cowards plain and simple. Leaving a contact name for a rebuttal is only fair. I think the rule of law here should be to make a comment, sign in. Making comments about grammar on a porn site is just dumb, IT'S A PORN SITE. It is not Barnes & Noble. Good story hon keep up the good work.

Well... I know deep subject right. Look, I'll give you good and bad.

Your narrative was running nicely given that, like others have said, it's a story idea that has been done to death. This is the summer version of "trapped in the snow." The story was doing it's job though. YOU were setting a believable scene. I would have saved this one for the summer months to post though. It would have played better then with everyone hot as hell. Right now everyone is freezing and someone bitching about the heat is annoying. Sets the teeth on edge.

Now, your dialog needs work. If you don't feel that you can do better at this time then stop using dialog. Tell the whole story with narrative if you have to. It would be better that way than using dialog that comes over as campy, cliche, and porn-scripted.

Do not use letter repeat to make someone orgasm. It's one of the best signs of amateur writing. Just don't do it. Ever.

The site has some very talented writers. Read more of their stories but read from the point of view of a writer. Look at what they did to get that moment of pleasure across to the readers. Don't copy them though... use your own style and voice to tell "your" story.

And finally look beyond the cliche done to death plots to different story ideas. There is an unlimited amount of story opportunity around you every day. look for them and use them well.

You wanted a story where the heat made a mother and son get together. Okay, How about this.

The Son is cutting grass in the full heat of summer. He heat strokes out but not to the point he need to go to the doctor. Maybe mom is a nurse home nurse and makes that decision based on what she knows. She uses cool water and a wash cloth to help cool him. (Motherly attention any reader can remember is always good) She gets a bowl and starts to give him a sponge bath to help as well. She is use to washing old bodies. He's young and toned. His clothes, wet with sweat, she took off without thinking about it but now she is seeing him as he is. A man grown. Maybe while out his head he made a bit of a pass at her. It disturbed her but at the same time turned her on a bit.

See, simple story but I haven't seen its idea used on here before and it's almost the same idea you used.

Try new things and enjoy writing.

M.S.Tarot

Don't you mean TOO MANY CLICHÉS. You too could use an editor!

Being obsessive about grammar (being ocd can be a curse and a gift at the same time), I found the story too sloppy for my taste. The sex was ok, fast but ok. However, I couldn't get past all the mistakes that other commentaries have already pointed out. Three stars.

4*'s

Well, I guess their water consumption, at least for showers, immediately got cut in half! LOL

Your syntax really sucks. Remember, your spell checker is not your friend. It is brainless!

This scenario has been done to death by much better writers who proofread & edit their stories.

nothing beats the feel of my son cumming in my mommy hole. it is such a sexy feeling when he fills me up. we loved this story sweetie so please keep writing. ;-)

Yeah proofread your work. Also, you use the phrase "you see" three times. Yeah, we see. It's an annoying figure of speech and to my mind always unnecessary.

NIce concept, ruined by the lack of suspense and buildup and the atrocious grammar, punctuation, syntax, and spelling errors. I lost interest when he got her shirt off after less than five minutes of reading.

You have potential, but get an editor.

5 STAR STORY. I WISH THE AUTHOR WAS STILL ACTIVELY WRITING!