by brendachaplin2000
Fear not BC! Nobody in their right mind expects perfect English on these pages.
Pros: many Literotica stories are way too long! This story was perfect in this respect imo.
I suspect that many of these authors haven’t yet figured out how to “wrap it up,” and therefore their stories, though powerful for a page or two, lose their way by their mid-point. Whenever I happen upon one that’s on chapter 8, in my mind it a no-brainer; I’ll be skipping it for sure.
Pros: You illustrated quite well, the paralyzing fear that every cross dresser has of losing the love and respect of those who are the closest folks to them, especially when there coming out of the closet for the first few times. Fortunately for John, there were 3 people who had ample compassion for the person he knew he was on the inside.
As I often do, I like to find an author’s earliest submission and, if I feel something from it, move forward from there; something I attend do with your postings for sure BC!
as has been stated before, you need an editor. the paragraphs felt like someone with ADHD wrote them. Get some conversation going, instead of explaining who said what have them actually say it in separate paragraphs.
English is clearly not your first language, or indeed your spellchecker's first language. Your writing shows promise - do everyone a favour and get an editor.
Maybe Literotica needs to have a basic literacy test for authors wanting to post here because this isn't even good gibberish!
...but is English not your first language?
Because this reads like someone writing in a language they don't naturally think i.
The basic story is good, but the expression is a bit off-kilter.
I'll be reading more when/if there IS more, though.
The story doesn't flow properly; reading it is a bit clumsy and could stand the services of an editor to aid the flow.