A Letter to an Angel

*A short time ago I found an old phone number, this letter inspired me to write this letter.

My dearest angel,

A lone tear fell from my eyes as I recently drove by the restaurant where we saw each other for the last time.

A night I've remembered in my heart for 26 years, I remember it as if was only yesterday.

If I was to live forever, I still couldn't tell you how much I love you that night, or any night since.

We met on a day which was grey at least for September, which was still a little humid as summer was ending, as autumn was beginning.

That day when I met you, the sun seemed to shine. I can still remember how sweet your voice was, the wonderful way I felt, when embraced, or held hands, and how your inner beauty seemed to make you the most beautiful woman I ever met.

Your mere essence made me feel that I was worthy to feel be loved, or to feel safe in your presence a feeling that I hadn't felt for years, or perhaps decades.

We became instant friends, I could tell you anything, without being judged, or condemned, which I never experienced in my whole life.

It wasn't long before you began to innocently flirt with me, this was new for me, even at 27 years old nobody has ever made me feel special the way you did.

You showed me that you cared more than anyone else, especially when I was sick, in fact you cared more for me than I did myself.

There wasn't a day where we didn't hug, laugh, and sometimes even cry. Sometimes at night after work we'd drive to the lake, and just hold hands.

I could never understand why you'd ask me when I was going take you out, since I wanted you to have the best, I sacrificed my only chance to be loved, just so you could get the things you wanted, or needed as I was aware that anyone would be better than me.

People would stare or look at us as when we'd be together, they couldn't understand that even though our races were different that we had loved one another, it was like they were blinded from the beautiful love that we shared.

How people and even I had given up on myself, but you never did, you saw something within me, and encouraged me to keep getting up, and continue on.

Perhaps we were going in different directions in life, so I believed I could never support, or give you what was important to you.

You even had more faith in me, and potential, far more than many people I've known, or even myself.

How when I go to sleep, I put my arm around me as if you were at my very side holding me close.

Over the many years I've gotten sick, and weaker each day of my life, having almost died at least 3 times due to an infection, a very weak heart, a stroke, and now cancer.

Since '20 I've had 6 surgeries, and about to have another one in March, brings back to my mind when you said, "You better start taking care of yourself, because if you don't who will."

Had I wish I listened and took heed to that.

My future doesn't look good at all, as I continue to live each day fearing the unknown and the loneliness that seems to plague me throughout my life.

Your beauty awakens all of my senses, as I think of how I wish I could see your beautiful self, hear your angelic voice, to touch you, or sense your mere essence.

When I see a red rose or hear the song "You Are Not Alone", it brings back the many memories of you.

I pray to God each night that if it's possible I can see you one last time, to hear your beautiful voice even if it's in a crowded room, just one last time.

My father once told me years ago that you're lucky if you have more than one real friend in your lifetime, let alone that special person to love.

I was able to find a few real friends, and even to have that one special person to love.

My Angel, please know that I regret more than anything else that I wish I told you how much I loved you, because there was never a day, that through your actions that you loved me.

So, if by chance you read this letter, please know it came from my heart and how even after over 20 years I still love you, and that there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you.

Love Eternally,

KDH