A Life Imbued with Lies

As it happens, almost all of my stories are written from life. This one is not an exclusion. Sometimes I don't quite understand the logic of my characters, but I have to follow it, and it's up to you to decide how much you like it.

Thanks again to RogueUlfric for bringing this story to more acceptable form.

A Life Imbued With Lies

Kostya

Just three months ago, I thought I was the happiest man in the world; I was enjoying my life, I thought I had the most wonderful family, a faithful and loving wife, a beautiful little girl (although only she now does not allow me to finally break down). All in all, an unremarkable marriage of a couple in love. As Tolstoy wrote: "All happy families are similar to each other, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." It's about us.

***

I met Angelina at her graduation party, when she was not yet eighteen years old. On that day, my friend Lyosha and I went to see his sister Lena get her diploma. She was so important in her new outfit and with a "look everyone, I'm an adult!" expression on her face, that one was inevitably drawn to smile. So the three of us went, first to the official part. We clapped our hands a little at the presentation of diplomas, and then the action flowed into the festive part, where we watched a sort of mini-Club of the funny and inventive, or, as they called it then, "a parade of variety miniatures". It was here that I noticed a girl from Lena's class.

She was thin (which I always liked in girls), well-proportioned, with well-defined facial features and lush, wavy hair in a fancy hairdo, wearing a lilac short dress. Simply put, she was beautiful and immediately appealing to the eye. That she was clever was indicated by the gold medal 'For Special Achievements in Education', given to her along with her high school diploma, and a gold-colored graduation ribbon with the inscription: 'Medalist of the Year'.

I should say that immediately I liked her very much.

I myself was then a fourth-year student at our university, specializing in computer science and computer technology, twenty-two years old. My name is Konstantin, shortly Kostya.

Oh, how I courted: flowers, gifts, surprises. To have enough money, in the evenings I worked at a vegetable warehouse as a loader, though I already had a part-time job as a lab technician at the university. But, anyway, by winter Angelina, at that time a first-year student at the Institute of Finance, and I became man and wife. How happy I was.

We immediately rented a studio apartment on the outskirts of the city, which took most of the money I earned, and lived as a family of newlyweds, living from hand to mouth, which, however, did not prevent us from being happy. Of course, everyday life made its adjustments, and sometimes we had quarrels, but they invariably ended in a stormy reconciliation and never left a deep trace in our lives. Well, at least I thought so.

About a year later our little girl was born, we named her Angelika, so even her and my wife's names were similar. I loved her madly. Of course, diapers and onesies and the like did not add to the joy of life, but it seemed to me that on the whole nothing marred the flow of our lives. I tried my best to help my wife manage the household and raise the child, although it was not easy, given that at first, we were both students, or rather I was already a graduate student.

When I got my degree and got a job at a subdivision of Rosatom, it became easier with money, though there was less time to help my wife. We even had to hire a nanny. However, Angelina, or as I always called her - Gelya, successfully managed to finish university, and got a job, when our Angelika, shortly Lika, was three and a half years old. She worked as an accountant in a company closely connected to 'Alrosa' holding, where the director was Arkady Naumovich Starikov, and had a good salary to start with, so we could also afford to occasionally hire a nanny and part-time housekeeper to help Gelya.

We lived fine, almost no fighting, I earned good money, gradually made a good career, became head of the commercial department, but I did not deprive my family of my attention and care. Every penny came to the house, every free minute given to my girls. Flowers and gifts were for each, on even the most insignificant occasions.

In intimate life, too, everything was excellent. Gelya was a passionate and temperamental woman, and there was not a day when we would not prove our love to each other to such an extent that it often required wringing sweat-drenched sheets, after which we basked in each other's arms for a long time.

By our daughter's fifth anniversary, though, the tension had gradually subsided, but I took that for granted, because you can't burn as brightly over the years as you did at the beginning. Nevertheless, I had nothing to complain about, and I continued to enjoy our happy life.

***

Then that day has come, Wednesday, three months ago. I remember every detail as if it were today. I woke up, woke and dressed the child, since my wife was leaving for work later, and we all had breakfast together, after which I took my daughter to day care, and went to work myself in a good mood.

In the last few days, Gelya's health had been a little off, she sometimes felt nauseous and had some strange mood swings but, on the whole, she assured me that she was fine, and that it was because of the work load.

I must say that she has made impressive progress over the past two years, rising to the position of deputy chief accountant, and her workload was great, so I did not attach too much importance to her condition, believing that the next vacation, which we planned to spend in Cyprus, would remove all the symptoms, and Gelya would return to her normal state of cheerful giggler. And the vacation was only a month away.

So, whistling a bravura march, I went to work. About two hours later, I got a WhatsUp call from Gelya.

"Hi, honey, I have a surprise for you," she forwarded a picture of the pregnancy test with two lines. "Everything is right; I did it on an empty stomach so it would be accurate. So, I took the whole day off from work, and now I'm going to the antenatal clinic to confirm the test, to specify the timing and to get registered there. I'll try to get it done before lunch, and then I'll cook something delicious, and we'll celebrate when you get home from work in the evening."

To say that I was glad of the news is needless. We were already thinking that Lika was obviously missing a little brother or sister.

"Oh, honey, I love you so much. You gave me an extraordinary gift. A big kiss, and tonight I'll try to prove my love."

"Well, well," laughed Gela, "we made the gift together. So, I love you too, and wait for the promised proof."

I immediately told the chief to congratulate me on the addition to the family, and he even let me off early from work. I did not call Gela, deciding to surprise her.

I did not think that the surprise was waiting for me...

On the way home I picked up my daughter and took her to my parents to tell them the news, and, of course, to let them hold their granddaughter with them, giving us some time alone.

They understood everything correctly, and the father himself promised to take my daughter to day care in the morning. It was obvious that they were happy, too.

I bought a cake, a beautiful bouquet, champagne, a gold pendant, and hurried home.

I opened the door silently, quietly went inside, expecting to remain unnoticed until the last, so that the surprise would be complete. My wife was sitting in her room in front of the computer, chatting loudly on Skype with her friend Caroline. She didn't even hear me come in and stand outside the door. But their conversation threw me into the deepest shock.

"So, tell me, Gelya, what is your gestation period?"

"It's already the fourth week."

"Does Kostya know about it?"

"Yes, I called him first. "

"Only him?"

"What are you talking about, friend?"

"Are you sure it's Kostya's baby?"

"Of course, who else could it be? Naumych and I haven't fucked for two months, and Max and I always use protection. I told him right away that if I'll want any more children, they would only be from my husband. A year and a half ago, from the very beginning, I told him that I wasn't going to ruin the family and that he shouldn't count on anything serious."

"What about that handsome guy from the exhibition? I was almost toasted when he was balling you before your hubby."

"Oh, please. Unconventional sex doesn't make babies."

They both laughed.

"Oh, Gelya, Gelya. You're playing with fire. You have such a great husband, and what do you miss? If you don't love him, then..."

"Don't lecture me, Caroline, you're no saint yourself. Harping on again about that. I love my husband very much. But this is the 21st century. You've got to be more modern, my friend. Love and sex are two different things."

"Don't you have enough money not to need to exchange sex for it?"

"You can't measure everything by money and sex. If I only wanted material gain, I would have taken Arkady Naumovich out of the family long ago and married him. He spends money like sunflower seeds, and he doesn't need much in the bed."

"And Kostya?"

"What do you mean, Kostya? Kostya is my husband. He is the father of my daughter and my future second child. We have a spiritual closeness; he is kindred to me, he fits me psychologically and spiritually. He makes it easy for me, and that's why I love him. But you can't mix love and just sex. Besides, such adventures on the side add a certain zest to family life. It fuels it, so to speak."

So that's what they're talking about. If I had been stabbed with a red-hot bayonet under my shoulder blade that minute, I probably wouldn't have been as hurt and disgusted as I was by what I heard.

The minute I stood listening to that conversation, all I wanted to do was die. I felt as if an invisible hoop had squeezed my temples and throat. Sweat was running in streams, my ears were literally ringing, everything around me was not even black and white, but black and gray.

I don't remember entering the room. She turned around frightened and knew by the look on my face that I had heard everything. Her reaction was like a cheap TV show, "you got it all wrong, it was a joke!"

Realizing that making a fool of me would only add gasoline to the fire, she fell to her knees and began to cry out, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please, for my daughter's sake, for the baby's future."

She wrapped her arms around my legs kissed my knees. Ugh, how disgusting.

I wanted to grab her by the hair and bang her head on the floor, but apparently the instinct of fatherhood took over, and I confined myself to slashing her face with the bouquet. Then I took the wedding ring off my finger and threw it in her face, too.

Then I ran out and drove home to my parents, nearly getting into an accident twice. I stopped at the nearest supermarket and bought three bottles of vodka and juice.

When I arrived at my parents' house, I went up to the second floor of the house, yelled at my daughter, and was rude to my father. Then I came to my senses, hugged Lika, apologized, kissed her, told her that I love her very much, and then I closed myself in my room and started drinking. Vodka I drank like water; the first bottle did not even get me drunk.

I called the chief and asked for a couple of days off. He asked what happened. I said I would explain afterwards. He gave me a couple of days off in addition to the weekend; four days would be enough time to recover.

On the third bottle I passed out...

For two days I didn't let anyone in, sobbing and staring at one point. My mother came by a couple of times, brought me tea and asked me questions, but I didn't say anything yet.

Then, on Sunday, my mother came in and said that Gelya had come to pick up Lika and me. I said that Lika would stay here and asked her to kick my wife out. My mother said we'd sort it out ourselves if we had a quarrel. Things can happen in a family.

If only she'd known...

Gelya came in. I was sitting on the floor, looking rather miserable.

"Well, hello, dear! How are you feeling? Are you feeling better? Shall we talk?"

"How did you have the nerve to show up here?"

"What, you hate me? I know how you're feeling right now, and I know you're hurting, but at least try to listen to me. Before that, answer one question: 'Have I been a bad wife, a bad mother, a bad hostess all this time? Have you been walking around dirty, hungry? Or have I been a bad pleaser to you in bed?'"

"Anyway," I answered, not giving in to the provocation, "I'm filing for divorce, Lika stays with me. I'll pick up mine and her things tomorrow after work."

"Yes, nothing surprising. The first reaction of a cuckolded husband."

She curled up a fig and shoved it under my nose.

"Did you see this one? We'll get to that later. You're not even trying to listen to me and understand."

"Understand what? If you told me that you met another man and fell in love with him, fell in love with no memory, I would understand. If you, once drunk, accidentally did it, without realizing what you were doing, and very sorry about it, I would understand. If you were jealous of me when I cheated on you, and you decided to get back at me, I would understand. But here, what is there to understand? How can you be such a soulless, cynical creature, cheating for no reason? Just for no reason, for your own pleasure. And you know, the worst part is that you don't even realize what you've done. And as for listening... I heared perfectly yesterday. I don't think I want to talk to you or see you or hear you or be around you anymore in the future. Let's just divorce without any more scenes. The court will decide about Lika, but I'll insist..."

"That's where you're wrong. I won't give you a divorce, it's out of the question, and we won't be divorced for two years and two months. I want to remind you, Kostya, that I'm pregnant with your child."

"Mine? I'm beginning to doubt it now."

"That's fine. You can tell everyone. I can't imagine how you'll look when we do the DNA test after it's born. I'm going to insist on it myself."

"It doesn't change anything anyway. Even if we don't get divorced now, I won't live under the same roof as you."

"You will, you will. You'll be as a sweetheart. I'll tell you more, you're getting yourself cleaned up now, and the three of us, means you, me, and Lika, are going home. An hour should be enough for you, I hope?"

"How can you be so sure it will be enough? Otherwise, what?"

"Otherwise, tomorrow everyone at your workplace will know that you left your pregnant wife. They will spit in your back, and you know how your boss feels about it. You'll get out of work like a cork, your whole career will be wasted, and my good friend will cut off your oxygen everywhere, they won't even hire you as a security guard."

"Oh, your Arkady Naumych?"

"Did you hear that, too? Yes, that's him. He's a serious guy. By the way, I met him yesterday. He understood everything, and we decided to remain just good friends. But I can count on him at any time."

"And what about your what's-his-name Max?"

"It was more complicated with him, but I think I explained everything to him very well. At least I hope he won't show up again. You've got to understand that you're all I need. Okay, come on, get ready. Know that if I go home without you now, tomorrow it's on you. I'll turn everybody against you."

"And if everyone finds out why?"

"I don't think you'll tell anyone. You'd embarrass yourself first of all. Besides, you never know what you've been imagining for yourself...

"You're such a bitch!"

"I don't think you should insult your pregnant wife, although I deserve a lot of bad words."

"Okay, you win. But you know very well that the old relationship between us after all this will never be. The old life, too. I won't be able to forgive you. And what for do you need my forgiveness? You don't think what you've been doing all this time is an abomination, and you don't even repent of it. That's your attitude, your view of family relations. People like you don't change. You see the world very differently."

"You and I will have two years and two months, and then either you will change, or I will change. If you want a divorce after that, I'll let you go. In the meantime, let's not get carried away. Come on, I'm waiting. We'll talk it over at home."

"Remember, there's no more 'us'. And I have nothing to talk to you about. I'm only interested in you as long as you're carrying my baby. From now on, all I'll be interested in is the baby. And Lika. Now get out and wait down there while I wash and change."

Anyway, like an obedient and weak-willed sheep, I returned home with her. To the house, where now everything seems alien to me. The food is bitter, the water is rotten. I have moved into the living room. I try not to communicate with my wife.

For the past three months I have forgotten how to smile. I have lost my appetite and sleep, and my interest in life. I do everything on automatic. And I go home with great reluctance. While Gelya is pregnant, I try not to shout at her, not to pull her nerves, but affectionate words, as before, she does not hear from me. In fact, I only talk to her about her pregnancy. I bring everything we need. I still support the family, but the happiness is gone.

***

A lot has happened since then.

On the fifth of April Gelya had an attack and began to have pains in the lower abdomen, probably from nerves. I did not wait for the arrival of the ambulance. I carried her to the car and took her not to our city hospital but to a paid center of reproductive medicine. We have a wide profile center with an in-patient department. There are only three or four of them in the country.

Doctors diagnosed a threat of miscarriage, but we got there in time and the danger was eliminated.

While she was being treated, I talked to the head doctor, and asked if their clinic could do a paternity test before the baby was born. I know many people will judge me, but I still love my wife, and I can't help it. I even blamed myself for almost causing her to miscarry. Still, if my paternity for the baby was confirmed, I would feel better.

The doctor said that such a service is available, but they only take the material and send it to another place, and the results come in two weeks to a month. Naturally, I had to pay a pretty penny, it took almost all my bonus payments and part of my personal stash.

On the same day a sample of genetic material was taken, and my wife was left to stay at the in-patient clinic for another week. A week later I took her home, and ten days later the results came: my paternity of my unborn child was confirmed by 99.99%.

Both at the clinic and at home she was crying, begging me not to leave her now, saying that she was very sorry for hurting me, that I was the best and so on, asking me to give her one last chance, that she loved only me and so on. I told her we'd talk about it later, and that I couldn't get away from her now. So, we decided to keep the family together, but I didn't want to leave it like that either.

The other day I ran into this very Naumych. He was just leaving his house.

"Hi, I'm Kostya, Angelina's husband. Remember her?"

Fear clearly flashed in the old man's eyes, and he mumbled, "Listen, Boy, here's a thing..."

But I didn't listen to him. I shoved the paper with the DNA results in his face and said, "Know this, my wife is pregnant with my baby. She is my wife and my family, my life, and I won't let anyone ruin it. So, I'm warning you; if you come within thirty yards of my wife, try to call her, send her any message, or ever mention her name in vain anywhere, I'll find a hundred ways to make life difficult for you."