All Comments on 'A Little Bit Deeper Now Ch. 01'

No comment yet. Different premise. A headmaster, his cock-sucking cheating teacher wife and a prick rich self assured student. What the fuck? We'll see what happens next...

But let me be serious for a second:

To start with a decently intelligently sounding Doctor character, head master of a private school, going from sounding REMOTELY SANE at the beginning of page one .... to havibg him, by the beginning of page two, calling in his wife ---- a teacher at the same school ---- into his office... to have her starting sucking an 17 year-old's dick (Okay, dear author, he's a VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY evil boy who uses MAGIC to incapacitate anyone who's alone in a room with him! LOL).... mostly ONLY BECAUSE, the Dr. is to have been written by the author to have said, "I am not gay (so I won't suck you cock, here and now; but my wife could, y'know?)...."

THAT, to me, dear author.... is a consequence of watching way too many silly 1970s and 80s movies...

NOW, it'd be TOTALLY BELIEVABLE if the Head Master was INTRODUCED by the author as a deviant man himself whose past was rather dark, and he's being roundly out-witted by a few other FACULTY members SO MUCH MORE INTELLIGENT and organized than he.... faculty members who too had dark pasts. Sure, believable.

But not the mindless nonsense as told in THIS story.

Making Lit characters being unspeakably evil by waving some imaginary wand, by the author without WORK, ain't gonna do it.

This is really taking it to the limit and past. I'll have to wait for something a more sane to appear before I vote

Ooooo, just what I've been waiting for, a ballless man, a whore wife and a bratty trust fund punk. Wow, won't this be a fun read? No, I don't think so.

Ok, I'll be the first to admit that I'm not one of those "super-realists" out there who demands total realism in the tales I read, but seriously?! The setup wasn't believable. The actions of the protagonists weren't believable. The actions of the antagonist, on the other hand, were kind of believable in an extreme way. Hell, just watch the News or read the papers for the stories about the mega filthy rich trust fund kiddies getting into trouble, and you'll see what I mean.

But "kind of believable" in a tale where nothing else is believable at all just doesn't cut it. At least an ounce of believability is needed in even the most fantastic of fantasy, sci-fi or even horror tales. This one wasn't fantasy or sci-fi, but it had less believability than Star Wars, or even some third rate teen camp slasher flick.

Like Genghis alluded to in his comment, this one smacked of mind control. There is no way in hell that anyone would capitulate to some snot nosed punk like that without having a gun to their heads. I would suggest moving it to the Mind Control or NonConsent/Reluctance categories, unless you can come up with some miracle save in the next chapter, i.e. Hubby growing a pair.

I noticed that this is your first LW submission, but you've done pretty well in other categories. Just to give you a heads up, LW is the toughest crowd on Lit.

2 Stars for the tale being at least readable, if not believable in any way, shape, or form.

as unbelievable as this is the dr. or wife should just pull out the hunting shot gun that is around this school somewhere and make dumbass simon a nut less wonder and prove that money is nice but it can't protect you from some things.

This makes no sense.

Why would the husband care if the videos are made public ?

He is divorcing her and divorce is public record, if the video goes public she can't spin it that he is the bad guy.

Fiction must make sense, at least internally to the story.

its absurd

TWS - The logic of doing a dark story to keep an edge while doing a sweet romance story is interesting, and your choice. However, it does NOT seem to dictate assigning a NC/Reluct story to LW ... THAT seems to be a totally independent author decision! I think this submission would fare MUCH better in the category to which you already know it belongs.

Don't believe this was entered in LW to be deliberately irritating, so...

3*

Well written, certainly warrants another chapter. I love how technically this fits in Loving Wives better than others, yet has it's branches in N/C. Breathes. Give us another.

Well written and unlike the others I liked the premise. A snobby headmaster from a snobby school who has his world turned upside down in a five minute conversation. He is trying to drag himself out of a sea of shit but he is only falling deeper in.

4* from me and I'll be looking for the next installment.

I AM VERY FAMILIAR with a very expensive private school, where every year there are dozens going to the socalled Ivy League universities. And the ATMOSPHERE here doesn't strike me as being REMOTELY, SANELY possible.... that's all I am saying.

I know, it is FICTION.

But even in fictional ---- and especially if you're introducing very deviant, very clever characters ---- the AUTHOR has to SHOW he is more clever than his characters! Further, I HAD WANTED TO SUSPEND ANY SENSE OF understanding of reality, any sense of logic, common sense, etc.

I couldn't.

For example, I had been ANTICIPATING a MIND GAME between the 17-year-old deviant, hallowed eyed kid who's been fucking the Head Master's wife, a whore we occasionally hear in the news. ALL THAT IS REALITY BASED. High school kids fucking their MILF teachers are very real. That's NOT the problem.

I had problem with the DISJOINTED set-up of the story, where the AUTHOR introduced a rather psychologically twisted meeting between a deviant 17 year-old kid from a very rich family and the Head Master of the expensive school in which the story took place.

(Again, even though I am very familiar with very a school exactly like that... full with kids from the State's most important members, from the Governor to 3M, General Mills, etc... and I CAN TELL YOU those cock-sucking scenes COULD NEVER HAPPEN in that office!, I am even willing to suspend belief, for the sake of FICTIONALISM.... but it didn't even work, when I am willing to suspend so much of my faculties...)

I would have ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEM with the whole story, again, if the Head Master simply smiles and says something like:

"Okay, Mr. Shalfont (the deviant, 17-year-old kid from a super affluent family)... Given the fact that I've been watching you closely the past 4 years... I think it'd be disingenuous of me to contradict your assertion you've fucked my wife, your English teacher. AND TAPED IT, TOO! That is very impressive, indeed, Mr. Shalfont. Very impressive...

"But here, this is what is going to happen in the next few minutes. Excuse me one second. I need my secretary to come in, so she could take dictation, as I can't record this VERY FASCINATING CONVERSATION... But don't worry, both you and I will just pretend there's no other person here, except us. It's all very confidential, as we won't want your very powerful dad to know about A FEW OF THE SILLY THINGS you've been doing here... especially some of your latest activities, which you've ILLEGALLY TAPED, do we?"...

.... and SMILING ALL THE WHILE (no matter how disturbed he actually really is, that this kid was fucking his wife and taping it; no matter that this was totally IMPROVISED...), as he politely steps to the door, opening it, and calling his personal secretary to come into the private Head Master's office.... "to take dictation"....

Now, THAT SET-UP............. It'd be totally interesting, even if it is fiction....

Frankly, I hated the story and doubt I would read the next chapters. My reaction is likely due to my intense dislike for young sociopaths like Simon, who's genes are probably running pretty much true to the breeding stock he came from. The other dislike is Paul who is a rather pathetic piece of work. There is a way to deal with people like Simon and the sooner it is taken care of the better for the rest of the world. Unfortunately for Paul and his wife it will come too late.

Cheating, WHORE, Wife to the ground ... but only after she has been completely & utterly ruined!!!

Thank You Now!

Go back to sci-fi or erotic couples.

Loving Wives are for grown ups!

I agreed with Harry. Jeepers what drivel

No more needs to be said.

could barely finish this sordid piece of shit....

you piece of shit annony!

If I could vote less than one star, I would. This has got to be one of the most ridiculous stories I've ever read on this site. To anyone considering reading this poorly written POS, save the time you would be wasting to read something else.

I thought it was pretty well thought out and a good read. Ignore the trolls, they read stuff they do not like. Pity waste of time, but that is what a troll is, a waste of time. So old Paul has sucked cock and swallowed before? Interesting. He was just starting to get a taste and quite. Because he thought he was gay when he has been bi all along. Wonder is his slut wife knows she is married to a bi cuckold. And I must say, Paul is not very loving to his wife. Has not even read what the boy gave him yet. Paul for being so smart, is looking to be a dumb ass cuckold deep down. Only cares about himself.

solid work... keep writing and posting.

when the trolls are yammering you know you are doing well.

And while they keep saying they don't need to read more, you know they'll be back on the next chapter.

after all, it's LITEROTICA... if they are going to be shocked by sexuality, they obviously cannot read in the first place.

Looking forward to where you take it from here.

Fucking fags.

It _was_ dark.

not sure how to score this one .

i guess on quality of writing & shock value its got to be 5 stars .

evil just pure evil .

Paul steps out to his secretary and has her get campus security and to wait and listen but do nothing until he calls them in. Returning to Simon he turns on a recorder and opens the intercom to his secretary. Then says to Simone so you are blackmailing me with a sex tape you made of you and my wife. He calls security and tells him to strip search the Simon, who is found to have drugs on him. Having probably cause they search Simons room, find more drugs and a list of his customers. They take his computer and phones. ... Simon ends up in jail being Bubba's bitch. After he gets out he's met in a back alley and castrated with a sledge hammer. Slut Beverly? Her porn videos go viral... Paul and his hot blond secretary enjoy a happy life together. Paul was about to dump his bitch wife for a younger model when Simon provided the perfect opportunity.

cuck shit.

What a bunch of crap written by a gay author or an idiot!!!

I've read dozens of stories on Literotica and didn't make it thru the first page because of very poor grammar and a plot that consisted of nothing more than fucking and sucking. This first chapter is well written and given a poetic license is believable. Maybe some of the negativity can be explained because you put it in the Loving Wives section, that seems to raise the ire of some on here. Some I don't doubt is jealously. Then you have some that just like to thrash others because it gives them a feeling of authority which they wouldn't otherwise experience in their miserable little lives. They don't even have the courage to post using their name. Normally I would rate this first chapter a four but seeing how it has been deliberately slighted by some I'm giving it a five!!!

This story is pretty much as bad as anything I've read here. Let's try chapter two, it's got to be.better than a root canal.

in his very near future, TK U MLJ LV NV

Kids today, you gotta love em.

What a waste of my time. 1*

Interesting premise, bad execution. He had the little prick where he wanted. Take his phone throw the slut under the bus and divorce her and expel the prick. It makes no sense that her being a cheating slut reflects on him or his job.

Plotholed to death. Tense nonethless.