All Comments on 'A Little Fun Outside of Work'

Your characters constantly refer to each other with their first names, which makes their conversations sound forced and robotic. In real dialogue first names are almost never used; I'm sure if you think about recent conversations you had with friends you didn't say their name in every sentence.

It is difficult trying to enjoy the story when the characters speak and I suddenly want to laugh.

Bruinette,

I was thoroughly turned on. That was a hot little story.I like your style. Write more soon, please.