All Comments on 'A Little Louder'

Nothing much and no pathos whatsoever.

3 stars

Perhaps even count to 50 before responding!

Waste of time!

Ok..if this is your idea of telling the readers taht this is a story and it is complete…sorry! Did not make any sense …

Shouting doesn't get anyone anywhere. Listening does.

Great start to a story but nothing else.

Could have watched this on you tube or the TV for that matter!

750 word needs to die in a fire. I seriously want my five minutes back.

Didn’t work. Just not enough info.

.

2 **

I'm not sure where you learned about writing, but this aint it. This is not a story, just ramblings

No, actually I've never been the little pussy like the husband in your pathetic story.

HUH???

The BEAR

Brevity is by no means the sister of talent. It seems to me that writers simply cover their laziness with this format. A vivid detail or scene flashes in their heads. And instead of covering it with a slender narrative canvas or writing it into some digestible plot, the author gives everything in the format of a flash story, thereby scratching his creative itch, but leaving readers in frustration and perplexity. Is it possible to create a petition with a vote for the categorical prohibition of this stupid format - 750 words?

Going their separate ways seems the best thing to do!

4

This is one of those stories that makes you want to curse whoever came up with the 750 word project. Sorry, but the challenge is not to just post 750 words. Anybody can do that. The challenge is to fit a complete story into those 750 words. You failed to do so.

Greatly enjoyed this.

Terse, succinct, effective, and TRUE.

Well thank you for reminding me that adults get angry and they scream at each other.

I'm sure many of us over the past several months have forgotten what happens

I don't get it. There is nothing magic about 750 words. This was NOT a 750 word story, or at least not a very good one. I hope you return to this opening scene and maybe create a story that includes it. Thanks for the effort, what there was of it.

My wife is the same way, she has NO idea what its like to talk in a normal tone.

One of the reasons I don't like the 750-word format is this story. Good idea, well written, but there just wasn't enough space to do the story justice. How it began, how it progressed and how it ended was left out. Too bad.

This didn't work as 750 words, sorry. Most importantly, there's a briefest hint that she cheated and he didn't, but it's not expanded at all, which would separate it from a story about a "situation" (which is fine), with two people I don't give a F&^* about; to a LW story with a protagonist and and antagonist. I feel this would have been far better as a longer (doesn't need to be too long) story without as much ambiguity.

Great start to an interesting story

This was not a good fit for the 750 word limit.

Not bad, but this one just means more.

What ???

Ok...?????

So where is the story..???

As first chapters go I've read worse. But if this is the story in it's entirety it is crap.

911 and file charges. Domestic abuse is instigated just as often by females as by males. And it's unacceptable.

Regarding anon previous. Yes that statement is true. It is also true the when men instigate violence, they most often hit shove or push. When women instigate, they employ weapons such as kitchen knives, heavy thrown objects, golf clubs, etc. Men are more likely to be bleeding when officers arrive. Men are also far more likely to be arrested, even when they re obviously injured. Many jurisdictions hav mandatory arrest law, and the male is nearly always the target….as police will habitually disregard a woman’s attack, or belittle and discount an attack on hubbyby making fun as he is beaten. Fun times right. Just another double standard.

Brilliant. Thanks!

So true!

People when angry raise voices and then it escalates

I think it was well written. No fuss, no muss and got the point across. I don’t get the dissatisfaction in some of the comments. Maybe too little voyeuristic of others pain, retribution et all. Please don’t let it dishearten you. Sure, write long format as well, but this effort was good in my book.

5*

This was my 2nd read. First time, I gave you 4* but now I see it's easily worth 5 so that was remedied.

Neat little snapshot, I don't need to know more, thank you.

Great story. Less is more. I really do not care what happens next as he has put her so far on the defensive....Also if he comes home and she starts again he has a record of the cops being there. They should do it the easy way...just split.

Good story, escalation in screaming does not work.

Thanks for sharing.

Really well done. Amazing how some writers can create such a great story in so few words, when most here can't do it with 10 or 20 times as many. And thanks for raising the bar a bit...

3 stars - there should have been an epilogue stating that one week later the BITCH got served, after six months the divorce was final and he lived happily ever after.

I liked it, although I will admit to curiosity about what happened before and after...

We have the scene setter, but no follow up.

Good, but needs another chapter. We need stories with endings, that’s why you make the big bucks.

Pithy and pointed. 5 stars!

A very well made point.

Assuming he's innocent, his wife is VERY unbalanced, to a physically dangerous, potentially homicidal degree.

Marriage counseling would be not only pointless but even personally dangerous for him. Clearly her behavior is borderline paranoid and clearly constitutes spousal abuse. His only rational course of action is divorce.

Maybe the intro to a story, but not a story. These 750 can be satisfying in the hands of a master. This, not so much. 2*

Pump and dump and about as satisfying.....

please continue