Was It All Worth It

Last year, Father's Day started like any other. I was always the first one awake, never being able to sleep in, so I knew it would be a while before my wife of eighteen years and my eighteen and seventeen-year-old girls would wake up and join me.

Each year for Mother's Day, I would make my wife a nice breakfast complete with mimosas. For lunch, I'd make her a cheese, fruit, and nut plate with a bottle of good white wine. For dinner, I'd grill her favorite dinner of steak and baked potato paired with a good Cabernet Sauvignon.

When the girls were younger, they would help with breakfast and the obligatory waiting on mom hand and foot, but as they grew into their teens, I was left on my own for the spoiling. No big deal.

My wife usually reciprocated by making me a special breakfast, although I grilled the steaks for dinner, on Father's Day.

So, last year on Father's Day, I waited for my wife to wake up to make me breakfast which never happens any other day of the year. She doesn't know it, but I usually eat something small when I wake around six. I'd be starving if I didn't eat until she woke around nine, which is early for her on a weekend.

When she woke she kissed me, wished me a happy dad's day, and began to make a special breakfast for the family. For lunch we went to a kitschy little Doctor Who-themed sandwich cafe and all in all, it was a good day.

My wife is a slave to the calendar and knows when all of the important dates fall. She manages everything from holidays down to the kids' activities with a dry erase calendar hanging on the side of a cabinet in the kitchen.

Every holiday, hallmark holiday, school event, half-day, etc... get written on the calendar. Nothing ever gets missed. Except when I miss something, of course.

The following year, as my wife wrote in the dates on the calendar at the end of May, she said, "Hey, Bill! Your birthday falls on Father's Day this year."

It wasn't the first time it had happened so I wasn't surprised. I said, "Sweet! Don't skimp and cheat me out of getting two gifts."

Katy replied with a laugh, "You'd never let me live it down if you got cheated out of a present. I'll have to do something extra special for you this year."

I kissed her cheek and squeezed her butt as I walked out of the kitchen.

I hoped she meant more than the annual birthday and Father's Day blowjobs. She would start me off with blowjobs when we had a normal love-making session, but never finished them. Typically, they were part of foreplay except for those two days when she would finish the job so to speak.

She'd give me a nice blowjob with no expectation of her getting off in return on my birthday and Father's Day. I usually fingered her to orgasm as she did them though. I wasn't a complete tool about it.

I was excited and thought I might get the ultra-rare anal sex on my upcoming special day.

***

The weeks leading up to my big day were strange in our house. My wife was acting oddly by working late, snapping at me and the girls for little things, and dressing up more for work.

She was a bakeshop manager at our local grocery store. She never wore makeup to work before, but she started to do so around that time. She also wore a smock over her clothes, which consisted of a button-down white dress shirt and slacks. She'd been leaving an additional button undone, which showed off more of her ample cleavage.

I began to question things when she went out without me the Friday before my birthday.

We went out quite a bit together with a core group of married couples, so she rarely went out with the girls on her own. If someone was going out for drinks and invited her along, she'd let me know where and I'd meet up with them.

It wasn't as if I was an ogre and wouldn't let her do things on her own. She always said she enjoyed the time more if I were with her. It made me feel good and I thought we had a pretty strong marriage because of little things like that.

For my part, I didn't do much outside of our social circle without her either. It just worked for us. We weren't party people or big drinkers, our idea of a nice Friday night was to cuddle together on the couch and watch a movie or two together.

That's why I was surprised to see her walk downstairs that Friday dressed to kill. She was wearing a new short-skirt, nude stockings, and high heels. She also had rather obviously been to the tanning salon and got her hair done.

I whistled at her and asked, "Crap, honey, did I forget about us going out? Let me get dressed real quick."

"No, Bill. I'm going out with some people from work. I figured you could order a pizza for yourself since our girls are also going out."

I was shocked. She never mentioned it and it wasn't on her precious calendar.

"Oh? You didn't tell me you had plans. I figured we'd catch up on our shows tonight."

A look of fear crossed her beautiful face, and then she caught herself and softened.

"Sorry, baby. I was just asked today."

I made it clear that I looked her up and down and said, "So, you just found out today and in the hour you were off work before me, you bought a new skirt, went tanning, and got your hair done?"

I was getting angry. She was lying to me but I couldn't prove it. I couldn't believe she would be cheating on me, it wasn't in her character to do that.

She was the epitome of the suburban soccer mom wife and mother. Our sex life was great, we still made love several times a week. There was no reason for her to cheat on me.

She snapped at me, "I worked a half-day today. I wanted to look nice for a change."

Before I could respond, she walked out the door without another word leaving me wondering what the hell happened.

I waited up for her and she came home just before midnight. Her hair wasn't down anymore, it was pulled back into her normal ponytail. So much for getting her hair done.

She walked past me without a word and went upstairs. A few minutes later, I heard the shower going. All I could do was shake my head and wonder what she'd done that required a shower before bed.

She didn't come down and she didn't say goodnight before she went to bed. I knew something was very wrong in my perfect little world, I wondered just how wrong it was.

***

I work in retail management, so I worked the following Saturday morning. Normally, my getting ready for the day would wake her and she would kiss me goodbye before going back to sleep. That morning I got nothing. Again, I was shocked.

When I got to the store, I saw Missy waiting by the entrance. Missy was the morning barista at the coffee shop in our big box store.

She was a cute redhead whose blue eyes were striking. As happily married as I was, I couldn't help but notice her. I always had a thing for redheads.

"Hey, Bill," she called out as I walked up to the entrance. It was still locked as we had a half-hour before the store opened.

The night crew guys could've let her in, but as she told me once before, she didn't feel comfortable alone in the store with a bunch of guys.

"Good morning, Missy," I said as I opened the doors for us.

"What happened, Bill? You look like somebody killed your cat."

"Sorry, I've got a lot on my mind today."

She looked at me strangely but let it go.

"Give me a few minutes and I'll pour you a cup of our finest."

I forced a smile and said, "Sounds good. I'll see you shortly."

I locked the doors as she rushed off to prepare the cafe for the morning rush. I knew that she would be very busy as soon as the store opened. The mornings always were for our little coffee shop.

I checked in with the crews that were preparing their departments as I walked the floor. I always did a walkthrough in the morning. It wasn't necessary as I had a really good team of department managers, but it gave me a chance to say hello and make some small talk. I felt it was important to have a good rapport with my team members and I think they appreciated the effort.

The last stop on my walkabout was the coffee shop where Missy had my large black coffee waiting.

"Here you go, boss. One cup of Mega-Mart's finest brew."

"Thanks, Missy." I set down two bucks on the counter.

"No, Bill. It's on the house today."

"No way, Missy. I pay for everything here. The last thing I need is someone getting mad at me and calling corporate to rat me out."

She gasped. "Bill, I'd never..."

"I didn't mean you, Missy. I can't take the chance, even for a two-buck coffee. You'd be surprised the kinda things I have to put up with if I deny a day off for someone or their overtime gets cut. It's just not smart."

"Okay, boss. Fair enough."

I waved goodbye and sipped my brew. I'm sure some of the employees got free coffee now and then. There's no real way to track it and honestly, who'd want to? It's way too much work over cheap coffee. I couldn't imagine watching hours of video to see if everyone paid.

It was different for me. Being a top dog carried its own risks. Employees would get mad over the dumbest things. I'd had HR called on me because I enforced our employee parking policy. Seriously, calling HR over having to park in the back of the lot. Ridiculous.

***

The day ended and was rather uneventful. My biggest excitement was an old lady stealing cat food and birdseed. It was just the kind of day I needed.

I was busy enough that I wasn't stewing over my newfound issues with my wife, but not so busy that I couldn't get everything done on time.

When I walked in the door at home, my wife and daughters were walking out. For a moment I was surprised but looked at the calendar.

"Bye, Daddy," my daughters each said as they kissed my cheek goodbye. My loving wife said nothing.

They were going to a concert with some of the other moms and daughters. It had been planned for a while and was on the calendar, as usual for me, I forgot.

I had hoped I would get a chance to talk with Katy and get to the bottom of what was happening. I hated not knowing what she did the night before. After not thinking about it all day, I had nothing to do but dwell on it that night.

I took the opportunity to do some snooping. I checked her email but figured it would be a bust and it was. No one sent emails anymore.

She had her phone so I couldn't check her texts and call log. So I went to the hamper to check her clothes from the night before, but as it was Saturday, she'd done laundry.

I got nowhere and after watching a movie, I went to bed feeling no better about my marriage than before.

***

I woke up on my birthday/Father's Day combo and did the usual start to my day. I had a couple of pieces of toast and some coffee and sat outside on my patio to enjoy the morning.

It was a gorgeous day and I enjoyed the sounds of the birds chirping and wondered what was in store for my "special" day.

Around nine, I walked inside to refill my coffee and was surprised to see my wife and daughters up and packing a lunch.

"What's going on?" I asked wondering why they didn't have me getting ready to go somewhere.

My daughter Jill said, "We're going to the beach."

"Oh!" I said and walked upstairs to get dressed for the lake.

As I was putting on my shirt, I heard my daughter Jenny shout, "Bye, Daddy. See you later."

The door shut and I looked out the window to see my wife and daughters drive away. I couldn't believe it. I wouldn't expect the girls to remember my birthday, I had to remind them about their mother's birthday and Mother's Day, but I couldn't understand Katy not remembering.

I walked downstairs dejected and heard my cell ring. I rushed over, hoping they realized it and were going to tell me they would be back for me, but no. It was my Mom.

"Hey, Billy! Happy birthday and Father's Day!"

"Thanks, Mom."

"Does Katy have big plans for you guys today?"

"Nope. She took the girls to the beach a few minutes ago."

"Really? That's not like her. I'd have bet she'd make you a nice breakfast and make it a special day for you."

"Yeah, I'm not sure what's happening right now honestly. She's been acting strangely for a few weeks."

"Well, don't fuss about it. She's probably got something special planned for later. I gotta get off to church. Love you, Billy."

"Love you, Mom."

One had to love my Mom. She was an eternal optimist and she loved Katy like she was her own flesh and blood. She and Katy had regular visits since my dad died a few years before. Katy wanted to make sure Mom wasn't getting too lonely.

So there I was, wondering what the hell was happening with my marriage when the phone rang again. It was my Assistant Manager, Ann.

"Bill, we had an incident in the coffee shop this morning."

"What happened?"

"Missy was on a ladder when she was bumped by a shopper. She lost her balance and fell."

"Oh my God! Is she okay?"

"She was taken to St. Alex's to get X-rays. She may have a broken arm or something."

"Damn! Poor girl. Did you get shift coverage?"

"Yeah, we're all set. I just didn't want you walking into a surprise tomorrow. Sorry to bother you on Father's Day."

"Don't worry about it, Ann. Thanks for the call."

I hoped Missy would be alright.

***

I fumbled around the house for a while and finally decided they weren't coming back so I went to IHOP for breakfast.

It turned out to be a mistake for my state of mind. There was a long wait and there were families everywhere I looked. Happy families celebrating Fathers and Grandfathers. I left before I started to tear up.

I drove through McDonald's drive-thru and got a big breakfast with coffee and orange juice. The pancakes were surprisingly good as I sat in the park, eating with a plastic fork and knife.

I looked out over the small lake on which I used to take my girls paddle-boating when they were little. They loved the water. Whether it be swimming, boating, or even fishing, they loved to be at a lake.

With them being older and almost in college, they lost interest in fishing, I suppose looking back on it, they lost interest in spending any time with me at all. Their outings those days were all with their mother. That's probably rightly so. Shopping for clothes with dad would I'm sure be a drag on a young girl.

***

At one in the afternoon, I hadn't heard from my wife. I could only assume there would be no lunch together.

I drove to the Doctor Who Cafe and ordered a Reuben. Of course, it had a show-related name like Revolution of the Daleks Reuben or something just as silly. Being a forty-year-old man that has no clue what's cool or not, I took a picture and checked in on Facebook.

I got the usual likes and Happy Father's Day comments from my friends and associates. Oddly, my mother-in-law commented that she thought I was at the beach with my wife and the girls. It seems my wife was posting beach pictures on her Facebook timeline.

I finished my sandwich and went to the sports bar near my house. It had been a while since I watched a ball game and I figured I'd drown my sorrows at the same time in Miller Lite.

The bar was crowded and I wasn't in the mood for that, so I went to the cigar lounge next door and treated myself to a sixty-dollar Opus X. Happy Birthday to me.

I sat down and turned the Sox game on and a couple of guys playing cards invited me to join them.

"I'm Bill," I said introducing myself to the older gentlemen.

"I'm Lance and this is my brother Jerry."

"Nice to meet you both."

They finished their hand and dealt me into their little five-card draw game.

"Help yourself, Bill," Lance said kicking a cooler on the floor. I thanked him and pulled out a Miller Lite.

"No kids? Or does the ex have 'em with her new man?" Jerry asked with a smirk.

I frowned and said, "My wife and girls are at the beach. It seems they don't know what day it is."

"Sucks," Lance added. "I don't see my boys much. Both are the service."

Jerry nodded and said, "My baby girl lives in California. My grandson Charlie just turned two. I'm going out there next week."

"That's nice," I said. "With my girls being seventeen and eighteen, I've started to miss having little ones running around."

They both nodded knowingly.

After a while of small talk, somehow we got back on the subject of my wife.

"Do you think she really forgot or is avoiding you on purpose?" Jerry asked.

That was an excellent question and something I also had been thinking about. I told them about the last few weeks up to Friday night's issues and they shook their heads.

"She's cheating on you," Lance said.

Jerry nodded in agreement.

"I can't believe that," I said. As soon as he said it though, I knew it was the only explanation that made sense and I was trying to believe she wasn't.

"Listen, Bill," Lance said. I've been through it before. The change in demeanor, the sudden nights out dressed like a slut, the disrespect, I've been there and done that, pal. My wife screwed a co-worker a couple of times and when I found out I divorced her. The biggest mistake I ever made."

"What?" I snapped. "She cheated on you. How could divorcing her be a mistake?"

In my mind, there was no valid excuse. Cheating was the end of a marriage plain and simple. Period, end of story.

"Bill, I was broke for five years paying her alimony and child support. Every damned day I missed her, loving her from across town in my lonely apartment while she was lonely at my house. She may have cheated on me, but I was too much of a pussy to forgive her at the time. It took seven years, but we got back together after I got my head out of my ass. We're happy now."

"Jesus," I said. "Giving her body to another man is the biggest insult and disrespect my wife could ever do. If what you're saying is right and she's having an affair, she either is so caught up in her lover that she forgot my birthday or is blowing me off on purpose. Either way is not acceptable."

Lance shook his head. "Bill, trust me. If you truly love her, find a way to forgive her. You'll be better off in the long run. Forty-year-old guys don't get second chances at love."

"Thanks, Lance. You've given me a lot to think about." That may be what I said, but what I was thinking was that he was nuts. There's no way I could forgive her for having an affair and no way I could stay married to her.

I shook both men's hands, wished them well, and left.

***

It was almost dinner time when I was sitting on my couch surfing Facebook. I saw my daughters' and wife's posts with pictures of their happy day and was even more saddened.

"Fuck it!" I thought. I needed to man up and quit acting like a lost child. My wife forgot about my birthday. It happens. She forgot Father's Day. Who cares? What matters is I was certain she cheated on me Friday night and probably many times over the previous weeks she was acting strangely.

Her rubbing it in my face had to be her end game. Well, she ended it alright. It was time to prepare for the rest of my life.

I decided to go to my favorite restaurant for dinner. I knew there would be a long wait and that was okay. I had nothing better to do. So I showered, dressed in a sport coat and slacks, and headed out for a steak.

I was sitting at the steakhouse bar waiting for a table when an older man sat down in the open spot beside me.

He saw my bottle of champagne with one glass and frowned. Thankfully he didn't say anything, he merely ordered a martini.

As the bartender refilled my glass, I guess the man couldn't help himself and asked, "Celebrating alone or did I take someone's seat?"

"No," I said, "you're fine. I'm here alone."

He nodded and sipped his drink. He must have been in sales because he couldn't sit quietly. He said, "Yeah, I'm waiting on my three generations of red fury. My wife is helping my daughter who broke her arm today. I guess she's not handling having to do things with her left hand very well."