All Comments on 'A Long Drop Down'

I know the challenge was a story in 750 words and this one is well done. It gives a good lead in to the final scene. Good job. But this story begs for more. Please consider continuing it. Thanks for the hard work.

Woodmanone

How is a 750 Loving Wives story in Novels and Novellas?

This is a start to a very good story. However in novels and novellas you at least expect more than one page....please add more chapters.

I'd like to learn more about the characters, please?

Is this supposed to be in this category?

Seems to me finding her cheating was the best day of his new life.

And therein lies the problem. First off, why are you in this category? This seems like a loving wives story. Since it was submitted in the 750 word project that would seem to indicate that there will be no continuation. Usually stories in this category have many chapters and lots and lots of words. Finding his wife and Brother fucking would at least save him a ton of money. But what it does to the family dynamics would make for an interesting next chapter. I guess we will have to wait and see. Oh. One further thing. A good editor would help the story.

So he got rich while they were still married. That means the money is in the family pot and he's going to get to share it with her. But this is your SECOND mistake. The first mistake is making the company out to be Santa Claus. It'd never happen that way. Not even with the most scrupulous company. He wouldn't see more than a fraction of the money in the best possible outcome. They'd either tell him no, then develop it on their own, or else hire him to work out the kinks. Then when he had it ready to market the company would show him the clause in the standard employment contract that gave the company ownership of any patentable ideas that he developed while an employee.

R.

This is set up for a good ride!

Maybe miscategorized, but it stands alone rather well. So much to unpack in the last line. As for "real world business technicalities," it is a piece of fiction. Suspend your disbelief and enjoy it for fuck's sake!

Not complete. Thought 750 words had to be complete story.

Needs some help on the structure.

"Mark had just opted to sell his secret passion whose knowledge none had as it was just a development in his mind that one fine day he had committed to paper and sent to a tech savvy company which he found on the net, had no knowledge of their potential and totally on a whim not knowing if it would amount to anything. "

Hopefully a lot of pain involved

He had idea

Sent it off

Company luckily ethical and didn't cheat him out of it.

Offered large sum of money.

He came home early and caught wife cheating with brother

And?

For me? A swing and a miss. In my opinion a bit too much on developing his story and not enough on the aftermath of the discovery.

HUH?