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Our standing poses were full frontal, Ruth's curvy body beside mine, my arm about her waist, my soft cock hanging against my thigh. Most of the artists drew us matter of factly, the proportions right, the droop of Ruth's full breasts and the hang of my cock well observed. One woman, though... my cock wasn't there at all; so even in life, people decide what they see. I found that curious - it was a powerful drawing, just not of me; genderless.
Our long poses were intimate, lying down; Ruth's body in my arms. In the first twenty minutes, her back was against my front, my cock soft against her bottom. If she had wriggled and pushed back, she could have had an erection hard against her, but she didn't so I stayed soft. During the second pose her breasts were against my chest and our bellies together, and she fell asleep, which was sweet. I wanted the poses to be more overtly sexual, but the group wasn't quite ready for that.
I've posed again since, just the once. That time there were just three of us, Ruth, Mary and I, so we all took turns being nude. I'd like to say something happened, but that night none of our drawings were much good. Something was missing, perhaps we all needed more eyes to look over us. It's a baring of one's soul, posing nude; there's a whole range of thoughts I've not touched on here.
* * * *
Adam kept the last drawing of Sara and framed it, hung it on a wall. "There's a lovely innocence in her pose," people said, "even though it's explicit."
Adam wouldn't forget Sara's confident gaze, nor the way she played with her hair.
* * * *
It's a characteristic of many of my drawings that they're explicit, but the women look down, look away, even as they display themselves. I think I'm looking for a muse who will challenge my gaze with her own, who will look right back at me. I write women who do that, confident women, but so far I've not found a model who does. Or if I have, I didn't see.
- COMMENTS
LilyWaters9 months agoThis is exquisite. A Love Song for Sara, yes, but also a love song for writers, for artists, for those who examine their muses and sparks, and consider how life is breathed into them.
Absolutely stunning.
LoquiSordidaAdMealmost 5 years agoIn Kurt Vonnegut's later works, he often had long author's notes in the middle of his stories where he compared his own real life to that of his alter ego, Kilgore Trout. He'd often wax poetic on his own writing process, much as you've done here. There are similarities, but the voice here is uniquely your own.
There's an interesting dichotomy between the true story of Ruth and the fantasy of Sara. I find it interesting that you remained soft while posing with Ruth, the woman you had, while you became aroused drawing Sara, the woman you didn't. The difference seems to be desire, a theme you emphasized early that sort of became lost by the end.
MelissaBabyalmost 5 years agoI enjoyed the "behind the scenes" aspect of the story. It was very interesting to get a peek into another writer's creative process.
Readers who do not also write might find the transition from the narrative to the analysis a bit off putting, but I hope they stick with it.
