All Comments on 'A Martian Slut Ray? Really?'

by tanglosax

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  • 82 Comments
Boyd PercyBoyd Percyover 1 year ago

Plausible ending!

5

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

DIsappointing, sorry I read this 'new' version. 1*

CaptainbklCaptainbklover 1 year ago

Good story, did like the ending. At least you had an ending though.

KoxokKoxokover 1 year ago

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I can relate to MC as I divorced my wife due to her increased erratic behavior (she had depression, but it later manifested as bipolar disorder).

TajfaTajfaover 1 year ago

Has this been posted before or maybe a part 1?

It was a good story but I don't like death at the end.

Seems the brain tumour might have had something to do with her behaviour and the story could have been taken that way?

Still, well written.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

1st part of the story where she was telling him about the class and his reaction. Rest of the story was just plain blah. 3*

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Not a loving wife.

skruff101skruff101over 1 year ago

If in doubt kill the cheater, works every time. Brain tumour gives hubby a plausible reason why and lets the cheat off responsibility because of a medical problem she had no control over, and they all lived happily ever after (well almost all).

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Much better ending than the first time this was put out. I still think that it was the Martian Slut Ray that made her do it.

kiteareskitearesover 1 year ago

It didn't feel very convincing that Bobby wanted to save the marriage at any point despite what he said.

I feel after the BJ Bobby just wanted out and I can't say I blame him.

He did his best to avoid Janet and didn't really try hard to convince her not to go on Monday. At which point he should have been straight, the BJ was too much, do what you like but I will be divorcing you. Even so, he should have been more firm and made it 100% clear, no question, even to the point of showing the draft petition, that he would follow through with it.

Based on the fact that the serving stopped the intercourse, not sure I believe that, I'm surprised the judge didn't order counselling.

I think this could have been a lot more satisfying, even without going full BTBs and I'm never really happy with the wife dying, even like this, unless it really fits into the story. She could have still had the tumour and had it successfully operated on and still have seen it as the possible reason though still not reconciled.

Thanks for posting the full version all the same.

kiteareskitearesover 1 year ago

It didn't feel very convincing that Bobby wanted to save the marriage at any point despite what he said.

I feel after the BJ Bobby just wanted out and I can't say I blame him.

He did his best to avoid Janet and didn't really try hard to convince her not to go on Monday. At which point he should have been straight, the BJ was too much, do what you like but I will be divorcing you. Even so, he should have been more firm and made it 100% clear, no question, even to the point of showing the draft petition, that he would follow through with it.

Based on the fact that the serving stopped the intercourse, not sure I believe that, I'm surprised the judge didn't order counselling.

I think this could have been a lot more satisfying, even without going full BTBs and I'm never really happy with the wife dying, even like this, unless it really fits into the story. She could have still had the tumour and had it successfully operated on and still have seen it as the possible reason though still not reconciled.

Thanks for posting the full version all the same.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

I read that story before. Is it new today?

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Average

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

4. Good story, but it should have ended when he discovered that his virgin wife was a skilled cock sucker and she only revealed this after they were married. She wouldn't touch him until she had a ring, but didn't have an issue with blowing an unknown number of other guys.

AngelRiderAngelRiderover 1 year ago

The answer is maybe. Sudden hypersexuality can have an organic cause. Hell, any sudden drastic change in behavior can have an organic cause. It can have a psychiatric cause as well.

However, if the tumor was causing her fixation, it wouldn't have stopped with the divorce and she would have been all over her husband to have sex all the time. That's the only problem with the resolution.

numbnutz49numbnutz49over 1 year ago

Why do I feel that this is a re-submission of a previously published story?

MattblackUKMattblackUKover 1 year ago

A 5* story with a valid reason for the Martian Slut Ray.

JH4FunJH4Funover 1 year ago
Good Read ⭐⭐⭐

While I enjoyed the story, I think you published previously. You should put that in your upfront notes. You did a good job with the upfront notes letting your readers know the set parameters for the story. Mine is just a potential addition. I believe changes can enhance stories/tales such as yours have with this one and republications are acceptable. It is your story you decide what to add or leave out.

Your changes were excellent and made the story more enjoyable. I like the original and rated it as a Good Read ⭐⭐⭐ as well. I have read all of your stories except the “Not Scuba Diving” series and enjoyed each of them. I will read them as well and I am sure they will be good reads too. I look forward your next tales. Your tales are well written and have good development of the characters.

Keep Writing

JH4Fun

HikingThruHikingThruover 1 year ago

Well written. The ending felt flat to me. Winning the divorce case doesn't substitute for the confrontation/conflict resolution b/t the husband and wife. They never talked again.

AccelarVesterAccelarVesterover 1 year ago

Nice. No drama, dunken nights at a bar, etc. Just "normal" suffering and resolution.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

I'm pretty sure I read this story by a different writer just a few weeks ago. That and the name drop at the beginning was enough to drop the score to two stars.

Demosthenes384bcDemosthenes384bcover 1 year ago

I agree with "Percy's" comment. Anytime I see a story on the site using the MSR approach, it's an automatic point deduct, but your ending made it plausible. In fact, it may serve as a life lesson. If someone close to you has a sudden, unexplained shift in their personality, then you should take it seriously and seek professional help. 5*

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Great to be able to read the entire story this time. I enjoyed it and Bobby’s life after divorce is a realistic outcome. Thank you for that.

I am disappointed by the part where Janet’s mom tracks down Bobby and tells him of Janet’s brain tumor and death. I think Bobby receiving a hate filled phone call from Janet’s mom of how he abandoned her sick daughter would make sense but a call just tell him Janet died of a brain tumor feels emotionally empty. The phone call and Jermey’s disappearance feel like a cheap gift the BTB crowd that want all of the cheaters killed.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Well written, with only minor errors. Though the story line wasn’t particularly original, it was told in an interesting fashion and without many of the typical subplots often found in such stories. For example, the author had clearly set up the expectation that Christa was waiting in the wings…but the author ended the story with the MC alone. The author even provided a plausible explanation for Janet’s behavior, though I still admire the simplicity of the MSR.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Not bad. Lack of a post trial conversation between hubby and the idiot detracted from the tale. We’re her actions resultant from that brain tumor, or the Slut Ray?

.

It was the Ray 🤗

.

3 ***

miket0422miket0422over 1 year ago

Second time reading this story and as a huge Dawgs fan and a resident of South GA I keep wanting the author to make the small town in South GA that Janet grew up in.

Yes, the undiagnosed brain tumor could have certainly impacted Janet's behavior and way of thinking. Decent enough explanation after the fact. During the course of the actual story this tape suffers from the same problem so many other LW stories do. The wife who when given a clear cut decision of save the marriage or divorce decides that the husband isn't serious and continues on down the path of destroying their marriage. Obviously miscommunication is a huge issue in a lot of marriages but, this type of behavior is so over the top that it really strains the limits of suspending belief for the sake of the story.

Regguy69Regguy69over 1 year ago

Sorry, I must have missed something here. Was this a reposted, alternate version of this story?

dragonmann72dragonmann72over 1 year ago

I was willing to give you the mistake of class for glass but....

I was 27, just graduated from the University of Georgia law school.

Six months later, she walked down the aisle in a little church in south Georgia and we married in a very traditional ceremony.

We had been married not quite six years when I had what I thought was the best day of my life.

We had pledged ourselves to each other in her church almost six years ago, and we had kept that pledge alive every night since then.

Not my college times, but not bad for a forty-year-old lawyer.

I'm not a math major but, if he was 27-28 when they got married and were married for six years, he was either 33 or 34. now when I was 34, i would never identify as a 40 year old. That cost you a point.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Very flat story, hardly any emotion

Legio_Patria_NostraLegio_Patria_Nostraover 1 year ago

This is a corrected/edited version of an earlier story. Macon... shopping center developer... attorney... $40,000 a year. Good rewrite/revise, OP.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

I don't think dead is a punishment. We are all going to die sooner or later, one way or another so the end would had been better if she suffers from loneliness or something like that. I am not going to trash your story so I will give you ****

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

I gave this a 4 on the incomplete first posting (which I suspected, and then Randi and the author both confirmed said suspicion, was incomplete due to a computer glitch), noting at the time that "page 1 earned a QuickMagazine 5, but page 2 isn't even a page...so I'm averaging things out to a 4." Now we have "the rest of the story" and the promise of that page 1 has been fully realized. True, fine and a five. Leaving open what this "MSR" actually was (derangement due to a brain tumor? willful cheating? naive stupidity?), is sound. All in all, a tragedy, especially since things didn't work out with Christa McDougal. Hopefully he'll have better luck in the country music capital of the world.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Oh where and when did I get to read this little tale before today ????

The set-up section appears to be a word for word reflection

of my previous encounter with this tale

4 star

CD1929CD1929over 1 year ago

Not sure why this was posted again. He appeared earlier this month

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

A rewrite, but done better than the original. As noted above, plausible, and makes for a better tale.

northstanderrhinonorthstanderrhinoover 1 year ago

Is this a repost or is it plagiarism?

Just_WordsJust_Wordsover 1 year ago

I liked that! The ending seemed to tie it all up in a semi-believable manner. It was an interesting treatment of a man trying to keep his head when his world was dissolving around him.

Schwanze1Schwanze1over 1 year ago

Comedy morphed into a tragedy.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

A dumb story about a dumb woman and a dumber man

JustOneMansOpinionJustOneMansOpinionover 1 year ago

When first published I didn't much care for it. This is much, much better. This is a much more plausible reason to explain her change in attitude and much better than a "Martian Slut Ray". Nice save. great re-write.

SkubabillSkubabillover 1 year ago

Great five star story

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

The court hearing was cutsie and all. And the husband, with full knowledge, broke his vows to his wife. Too bad he didn't care enough to insist on a physical exam for his loving wife.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

I'm glad you uploaded the rest of the story. Nicely done tale.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

I would have liked it better if you had omitted all the stuff about "Christa", which didn't go anywhere anyway, and instead had more dialog between the MC and his wife. The tumor stuff you threw in at the end wasn't particularly believable and didn't substitute for a proper setup (e.g., background material about how she heard about this guy, the "friend" who talked her into, what she was really thinking, etc). Next time, don't try to be cute and tell a proper story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

There was a story posted very similiar to this one, a few weeks ago.

I hope it's a rewrite, but that can be monotonous for the reader.

2**

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Fantastic story and wildly creative. Your tale flowed had feeling. And no, it's not better to love and lose, than to have never loved.

iammweaseliammweaselover 1 year ago

It was a decent enough story. Actually felt a bit empty and flat to me though.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Rewrite by the same author. The old copy is on the internet archive, and it is also by tanglosax.

JayDiverJayDiverover 1 year ago

Your story was easy to read, and follow. I read it start to finish but thought he plot line was completely stupid. I know the concept of the Martian Slut Ray Is based on a woman going completely out of character and totally stupid in order to perform adultery. The MC declares he wants to stop his wife from going to this "school". yet he was given multiple ways to stop it the first time she told him about it. Simply, call the police. It wasn't hard to figure out that the school was a fraud, and charged money for sex, i.e. prostitution. CALL THE POLICE. 2*

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

An enjoyable story, tho I would've liked the story to be without Janet's death. Also, & I'm showing my likes, for him & Christina to become serious & wed, but that's the author's choice. 4 stars Bob

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Sad story! Cana brain tumor cause a female to cheat on a loving spouse???

SarahwithloveSarahwithloveover 1 year ago

It was good I just get overly sad when a character dies like that. It's a stupid thing, I know.

dunmovynivdunmovynivover 1 year ago

Rewrite, or plagiarism?

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Okay story but nothing to write home about. Not that interesting or clever.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

This story, the way it’s presented, reads like a sad, actual happening. Well-written and believable. Four stars ⭐️ for this one.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

WOW!!!!! Really, a brain tumor??.....with no other symptoms prior to going totally off grid with intelligence and basic reasoning skills.

I don’t think a tumor caused this, more like the morally deficient and indoctrinated mind set of what qualifies a public school teacher or administrator these days.......graduating students that can read above the 6th grade level nor have any real math or science skills to speak of. Basically all they leave with is the bullshit like CRT and other anti American or anti establishment skills indoctrinated into their systems to ensure that they are perfect little victims of their handlers the useless education system and their activist leaders who now hide in plain sight at most of the tenured positions of old, traditional and elitist universities.

The only positive is that most parents that do pay attention are removing their kids from these schools and sending to private charter schools where most of the real teachers now work.

It has already started, now that most parents that weren’t paying attention and trusted public schools are no longer in the dark. The demise of the public school system and the universities that propagate this agenda are now dying and will be destroyed and rebuilt into something that has the goal of education and independent thought instead of indoctrination and blind belief in these idiots, not to mention paying 6 figures for a degree that won’t qualify you to get a job any more than a current high school student. I wonder if they take an oath before they get their degrees to practice what they have learned and to adhere to age old mantra that will prepare them for their future.........” You want fries with your order”!!!

Public school system or as it come to known “useless piece of shit”

BabalooieBabalooieover 1 year ago

This is the completed story. The other story was incomplete1

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Good story. It tied up nicely at the end. Her parting words of, " never even had sex with the asshole" was a very odd statement. Not crying for her lost husband. Not minimizing her role by being selfish. She truly seemed to be a bit off with that one statement. Brain tumors, at least what I know about them, make emotions hard to control and regulate.

And then there's stories about mild mannered men getting re bar going through their skull and not killing them. Only for them to become grumpy assholes after recovery, like they're not even the same person. Whatever part of her brain that either is good at logic or good at controlling lust, potentially got it's shit kicked in. The only upside is she didn't seem too upset to lose her husband during the divorce, and probably became even more far gone by the time the tumor spread a few months later.

Pinto931Pinto931over 1 year ago

A tragic comedy.

Wavedave45Wavedave45over 1 year ago

Hey I actually remember an instance from an infidelity forum where the cheating wife had a brain tumor. The answer I heard was that it was possible but not typical.

MusicGuy4FunMusicGuy4Funover 1 year ago

Strange behaviour ...

She had the primary symptom of a brain tumour.

Too bad her people neglected it.

When my father developed glioblastoma he appeared normal, but the left side of the world just ... disappeared.

Her behaviour was simular.

WargamerWargamerover 1 year ago

Silly story altogether, did not grab me at all.

Scores 2/5

sbrooks103xsbrooks103xover 1 year ago

I think I read a shorter version of this. I'm torn by the brain tumor. On the one hand, it gives a possible reason for her unreasonable actions, but it's an awfully convenient excuse. Also, I don't wish her any harm.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Keep writing

SomeOneTwoThreeSomeOneTwoThreeover 1 year ago

I liked it.

The Martian Slut Ray doesn't really need a reality check.

Just the name ... is too funny for that.

Brain tumor might be the reality option.

I just liked the story.

Good plot and well written.

Top ratings from me.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Why bother with a PI, or waiting until she went back to the guy?!? She had already touched another person. The minute she did, the marriage was over. The divorce was just administrative paperwork.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

kiteares:

What cause would the judge have for ordering counseling?!? The government doesn’t care about marriage anymore, if it ever did, even in Georgia. There’s no children, so no “trauma” to address, and no custody to mediate.

As for not trying to save the marriage, there’s no marriage to save anymore. She unilaterally broke the contract.

ZK

BlueEyd2BlueEyd2over 1 year ago

He spent too much time whining about his wife rather than actually doing anything to stop her.

silentsoundsilentsoundover 1 year ago

Interesting. Would have been more interesting if they caught the tumor. That's some very real medical reasons for impaired judgement and promiscuity.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

how many of you give anything over 1* for any story that makes you sad when your finished?? I read for enjoyment - not sadness. 1*

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Can't believe anybody - someone in ah honorable position, no less - can fall for James' bullshit sex ed class in his home, & everything that entailed. Was hoping that. after the divorce, that Christa & Bobby got serious. Oh well, can't have everything. But why do these stories have to have the adulterous partner dying of cancer, an accident, or here, of VD disease? I thought the give & take arguments about the course was overdone, as in too long. Bobby could've asked fewer questions (combining them) , then just tell Janet which he eventually did, that if she goes through with it, it's divorce time. May've saved an unneeded page of reading. 3 stars

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Did not sign the below comment in error. I was mostly through with this story & skimmed to the ending lest I forget what Iwanted to write. In my ramblings on why these stories always seem to have the wife or her lover dying of a sickness, I mistakenly wrote that in THIS story, she died from a VD disease. That was in another story I read, but the above stays true. Even though this's fiction, it tends to make one look at life a little better.

----> Whie I still atree with almost all I wrote below, repairing my error, I still think that the multiple discussions were a bit much. Again, it would've tightened up the story a bit. I also would've liked him to get serious with Christa; I find it odd that he liked her mother & daughter better, but no reasoning for that. Can't have everything.

----> Lastly, the court trial: he was able to leave Cali. instead of jail? Likewise in Georgia? I find it hard to believe, even if this story's non-real. Make it believable. However, it was a good story, good writing, & had the (hehe) Martial Slut Ray. I'm comfy raising my stars. to 4. Bob

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Sex surrogate partners are legal in seven states in the US. They must be licensed and in practice with a psychiatrist or psychologist. Sexual intercourse in legal within this practice. Since sex is so important in the pursuit of happiness in life, I endorse the practice, however, with the patient being married, the spouse must approve.

Jlyn1Jlyn15 months ago

She got the slut ray, and he got the wimp ray. At no point did he really fight for her; instead, he just let it happen. At the very least, confront the asshole before she returned. Then, she dies from a brain tumor, which hints at the reason for her actions. I'm being generous by giving it two stars.

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

Ouch! So many comments showing no understanding of a clever story with key educational points for all.

1) When a partner acts out of character both thorough medical and psychological examines should be scheduled. They must be conducted by top diagnostic doctors who can catch things like tumours, hormonal imbalances etc., If the physical is first a competent medical doctor can and will help arrange the second.

The MC anger may have prevented him from feeling guilt at first, but sooner or later most moral people will need counselling for failing to help a sick spouse.

Husbands wives and parents must be aware of the tricks practiced by seducers, both to avoid being tricked and to help train their children not to become victims. We love in an increasingly evil and dangerous world.

Kudos Tanglosax, you play beautiful music.

The Hoary Cleric

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

Slut rays do not exist. In her case was the brain tumor. Sad. She died in sadness and without her husband. Not blaming the husband. He acted as he felt he needed to. Buy no one had the full information. 4 stars.

26thNC26thNCabout 2 months ago

She cheated because she wanted to, nothing else matters.

TrainerOfBimbosTrainerOfBimbos29 days ago

The lesson from this is that once a spouse starts acting crazy, then they might actually be crazy and you should get them to a doctor.

It would honestly explain so much of what happens in LW fiction.

AnotherChapterAnotherChapter28 days ago

Don’t understand the reason this got such good reviews and averaged over 4 stars. The husband was a lawyer. Enough said right there.

AnonymousAnonymous27 days ago

giving her a pass on the cheating, because of a brain tutor found later, which may, or may not have had the slightest thing to do with her decision making processes, is bs. Brain tumors can effect widely variant parts of the brain, with different functions, and they can grow slowly, or very quickly, each case is different. There is nothing to suggest she didn't just watch too much daytime TV, and some guest on Oprah, hawking some book about 'taking charge of your own orgasm' or something equally vapid was enough to make her fuck off her marriage. nothingburger of a story, with an even worse ending.

Anonymous
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