A Merry Christmas Gift - 001

"What did your attorney say?"

I laid out the basics of what he told me. Then I gave her an almost word for word account of his last admonitions about pride and family. Amanda didn't take that too well.

"Damn Dad. This guy sounds like he is already on Mom's side. I think you need to find a real divorce attorney and get some better advice. I know how much stake you place in keeping your word. You built a whole career on being upfront, honest, and dependable. If you renege on your principles, you are no better than she is."

I was stunned. Amanda had again driven right to the heart of the matter. I agreed with her.

"Dad. I am sending you the name and contact information of a divorce attorney. She represented one of my girlfriend's mom in her divorce. This attorney is a bulldog. At least talk to her."

I agreed to call. Before we had even ended our phone conversation, the information appeared on my phone in a text. I looked at the clock. I was still only about 4:30.

"Let me call right now and see about an appointment."

"Great. Let me know how it goes."

I hung up and made the call. I had an appointment the next afternoon, right after lunch.

I was in the waiting area of the attorney's office straight up at one o'clock. At 5 minutes after the hour, the door opened into the office suite and a woman came through the door. I don't know what I was expecting, but I was surprised nonetheless.

Rosalinda Gonzales came into the waiting area and called my name. She was about 5' 4" tall and in every other direction. I always try to be polite and sensitive to everyone but she was obese. She had thick black eyebrows over dark brown eyes. A hint of a mustache crossed over her lip. Several dark hairs straggled from her chin. She was dressed in a nondescript baggy dress that did nothing to hide her bulk. Her hair was about shoulder length and neatly kept but with no attempts I could see at fashion. As I stood she turned to lead me to her office.

"We exchanged introductions and she went immediately to the question.

"I take it you are wanting a divorce?"

"I am considering it. I need advice."

She nodded.

"This is a no fault divorce state. I am sure that you are aware of the implications of that. You are going to take a hard hit on a settlement. Are their kids involved?"

I explained about Amanda and Jimmy, their ages and the college trust funds I head set up.

"That makes things a little easier. Is there any adultery involved."

"I gave her the full history of what I knew about her affair. She was making notes as I talked."

"Have you engaged a PI to document this?"

"No."

"You should. Even in a no fault state, willful adultery can sway the judge when it comes to settlements. Don't get your hopes up, but it wouldn't hurt. Have you split your assets yet?"

"Not yet. I don't want to start anything until I confront my wife and children. I am planning a family meeting this weekend. I intend to make it clear to my wife that I do not and will not condone this situation further."

"Do you know the other partner in this infidelity situation?"

"No, but I intend to find that out one way or the other."

"There might be recourse in that direction, if you are so inclined to gain a little retribution."

"I am not sure about that. I don't want to be party to bringing grief to another family."

"I understand. We will approach that later. My suggestion is to hire a good PI. I have one that I work with and trust. He is good, but expensive. I will give you his card before you leave. I would be careful about this family meeting. I could go bad and leave everyone at odds. If you insist on it, make sure you are in control. Just put it all on the table and see where things fall. I will start putting together all of the paperwork just in case. Call me on Monday after you have your family meeting."

I nodded as she handed me one of her cards and a card for the PI. I was soon back in my car. I decided right then to make the call to the PI. In less than thirty minutes I had paid a retainer with a credit card, given them the basic information they needed, and was off the phone.

That evening, Jimmy arrived at about 8pm. Julia was not surprised in the least when he walked in. I assumed he had called her immediately after my call. She had not changed her attitude or her routine at all. She was still a devoted housewife, mother, and partner. I was amazed at how she was able to compartmentalize her life.

Jimmy was a little cold and distant. I think he had talked to Amanda again and knew what I had planned. I worried a little over this. I love my son and certainly didn't want to alienate him. However, I had resolved on a plan and meant to stick to it.

The next morning, We were having breakfast when Amanda breezed into the house. She tossed her bag onto the couch and came in, poured herself a cup of coffee as she hugged her mom and greeted her brother. I detected a bit of chill between them as well. After breakfast we all sat around the table.

"Julia. We need to get all this out in the open. I know that Jimmy has known about your affair for a while, but somehow neglected to tell me about it."

Jimmy bristled.

"Mom said telling you would only cause problems. I agreed with her that as long as what she was doing didn't hurt you or your relationship, I didn't have any business interfering."

"Jimmy, I appreciate your loyalty to your mom. I just wish you had as much loyalty to me. Did you consider that what your mother was doing was a breach of trust between us. She was keeping secrets. She was going outside her wedding vows behind my back. She was basically telling everyone that her marriage was a sham and I was a cuckold."

Jimmy glanced at his mom. Julia had her eyes down. I continued.

"Julia. Let's make this perfectly clear. I do not and will not condone this affair. I will not put my stamp of approval on you having sex with another man. If you want to preserve this family, you will agree, right now, in front of your children, that this will stop and it will not happen again. Are you willing to accept that stipulation?"

She was silent. It took her several minutes to formulate a reply. She finally looked up.

"But I love him too. I love both of you? Why can't we just go on? Is it so important to your stubborn pride that you are the only man in my life?"

I didn't hesitate.

"Yes. It is that important. You made promises when we got married. You held yourself to be my wife, to be only with me. Nothing has changed as far as I am concerned. I still love you and I have never broken my promises. I have no idea what took you down this path. If you agree to what I am asking, I will agree to go to counseling to try and reconcile whatever is the problem.

I could see tears in her eyes. It was obvious she was severely conflicted. She looked from Jimmy to Amanda and then back at me.

"Why do you want to make this so difficult? Has life been so bad the last five years for you? Haven't I been a good wife? Haven't I kept a good house? Didn't I make love to you anytime you wanted it?"

I watched and listened to her carefully. While she was talking, I sensed no remorse in her voice. She never said she was sorry. She never offered any excuse for her actions. I was devastated as I realized that she had no intention of giving up her affair.

"You have to make the decision. That is my only offer. Otherwise I will proceed with the divorce and you can have your paramour. By the way, who the hell is this guy?"

Her eyes immediately dropped to her hands. Before she could speak Jimmy spoke to her. I was shocked by the vehemence and rancor in his voice.

"Go ahead and tell him Mom. You think he loves you. If he loved you he wouldn't be putting you through this torture. He would just accept it for what it is and go on with life."

I saw her look at her son with a small smile. She shook her head.

"Your Dad does love me. In a way I understand what he is feeling and what is driving him. Some of what he says is true. Don't take that attitude toward him. He is your Dad and he loves you too."

I watched Jimmy as he listened. I expected him to turn conciliatory. I was wrong.

"No mom. If he loved you he would want you to be happy. He would do anything to make you happy. He would accept this knowing it makes you happy. If he wants to know who your lover is, tell him."

"No Jimmy. That won't solve anything."

I could see Jimmy's ire rising. I watched as he struggled for a minute before he turned to me.

"Dad. Mother gave up everything for you. She gave up her career. She gave up her social life. She devoted her entire life to making you happy. I think it's time you paid a little of that back. Let her have her happiness. If you are so intent on knowing who gives her that kind of joy, I will tell you if she won't. The man that can put a smile on her face and keep her glowing is Stanford Rutherford."

I listened. That was nothing like I expected to hear. I felt as if someone had pushed a knife through my heart and gave it a twist. Stanford Rutherford was the senior partner in the agency where I had worked. He was fifteen years my senior. He was, I thought, happily married. He was one of my best friends. We regularly played golf and hung out at the country club together. I was thinking of the history between us and I remembered the party Stanford had thrown for me when I got my partnership. That was five years ago. Then the realization hit. That was the first time Julia had met Stanford and about the same time she had admitted she had started her affair. I was suddenly nauseous.

I heard Julia exclaim to Jimmy.

"Oh Jimmy. You shouldn't have done that. It will only make things worse."

I was in a daze again. I pushed back from the table and stood, shakily.

"Julia. You have heard my demand. You have until Monday to make your decision."

Amanda was sitting with a look of complete overwhelming grief. I think she knew I was mortally wounded emotionally. I looked at her without saying anything and left the house. I spent the next three hours driving aimlessly trying to avoid an accident. I tried to decide what to do. I didn't want to go home. I had no one else to turn to. I pulled into a Holiday Inn Express. Booked a room for the night. In the room I sat in the only chair with the lights out and the blackout drapes drawn. I was numb. My thoughts were chaotic. I have no idea what time it was when I laid down on top of the bedspread, fully clothed, and drifted off into an unsettled sleep.

I woke up several times when my phone chimed. I saw messages and phone calls from my daughter and my wife. There were none from Jimmy. I turned off the phone and laid on the bed looking up into the darkness. I stayed that way for unknown hours.

I finally got up when I heard a faint knock at the door. I opened it with the chain attached to find a smiling face looking at me.

"Housekeeping Sir."

I nodded, and undid the chair. Opening the door, I stepped back.

"Come in. I was just leaving."

She nodded and then watched as I simply walked into the corridor and toward the elevators. I had no luggage and it was clear I had slept in my clothes. I think she was a little concerned, but she didn't say a word and I didn't stick around.

I found I was hungry but with no real desire to eat. I stopped at a convenience store and picked up a couple of sandwiches and a soft drink. I sat in my car and ate. I I had to find something to do until I was ready to go home. Nothing really came to mind until I saw the library. In college, the library had been my refuge. I pulled into the parking lot, went in, and asked directions. I learned that card catalogs were no longer the way to find your way around. The librarian introduced me to the new digital catalog and left me to my own devices.