A mother's 50th Birthday

It was the end of the day on her 50^th birthday and as Rebecca changed her clothes for bed she couldn't help but wonder where things had gone wrong.

Only an hour ago her friends had sat at her dinner table and envied her for what they thought was the ideal life.

A rich husband. Two lovely children. A massive house.

They had laughed and talked their way through the evening whilst toasting every so often to her amazing life. She - for her part -- had laughed along with their jokes and indulged (possibly a bit more than usual) in the red wine, albeit hiding the cracks that lay underneath.

If only her friends could see past the superficial layer they'd realize the hollow that consumed Rebecca and one she so painstakingly tried to hide.

With the house now silent, her friends all gone and her son asleep in his room, Rebecca lay in her bed with her eyes still open and her mind racing.

Of course, it was just like him. She should have expected it and had not even entertained the remotest of hopes.

Why wouldn't her husband Dan find it difficult to come back to London from Paris? Why wouldn't he create an excuse to stay on there for work rather than come home for her big day?

She scolded herself for daring to think that Dan may just come back and surprise her. But lo and behold, all she got was a text message to wish her a happy birthday and a hastily written sentence to say he'll be staying on in Paris.

Over the recent months, the time he was spending across the English Channel seemed to be increasing. From a few nights a month in Paris it was down to a few nights a month at home.

Part of Rebecca knew what it was. But she couldn't bring herself round to admitting it. The other part didn't even care. So what if he's having an affair, she thought. Is it really an affair when the marriage itself is non-existent?

It was different when she first discovered Dan had slept with somebody else. All those years ago in the 10^th year of their marriage when she had discovered his first infidelity she had been hurt and distraught. The feeling of being cheated on, the feeling of having her trust abused and the anger that raged from thinking about him with another woman had been so intense that she had found it difficult to breathe, eat, or sleep.

She had wanted to leave him. To end it there and then in its tracks. Yet a part of her loved him deeply and that part wouldn't let her exit. So after profuse apologies from Dan she forgave him and stayed on. She told herself it was for the kids but she knew it was for Dan too because to her, he was still the best man she'd ever met.

Time passed, and some wounds healed whilst other remained sore. The next time she found the stench of another woman on his dirty laundry and an unused condom hidden inside his wallet, she had felt like slapping herself for being so gullible the first time round. It had been only a year since she'd forgiven him and he had betrayed her again so soon.

The tears of hurt gave way to anger much sooner this time round as she thought about confronting him. Her mind filled with thoughts of running upstairs to where he sat and slapping him across the face. She could picture how she would stand over him, throw the condom in his face and tell him to get out of the house.

But before she could move, a realization dawned on her that forced her to whimper.

Even if she were to throw Dan out of the house, the house was his. It was in his name. Everything was in his name.

She owned nothing. She had nothing to fall back on.

After all, it was she herself who had chosen to given it all up for him.

It was her who had agreed to Dan's suggestion that she drop out of university to raise their new born daughter, Jane. It was her again who had let Dan decide that she might as well give up the idea of going back to finish her degree now that they were having their second child, their son Nick.

In that moment as she stood in the laundry room still holding his soiled underwear, her heart felt heavier than it had ever felt before.

As the tears streamed down her face, she felt hopeless. But then out of nowhere something happened. A new thought, or what one may call a ray of hope, suddenly sprung within her and suddenly grew into an idea which then morphed into a decision.

Dan from now onwards would be worthless to her. She would be wife to him only in name and nothing else. But she would be a mother to her children the likes of which the world had never seen. That would be her purpose and her calling. She would give them the life she had been denied.

As the years passed, she distanced herself from Dan and for his part, he never tried to find out what lay behind her nonchalance. With the comfort he desired in the arms of other women, he barely even noticed the change in Rebecca. In his mind, he figured the fact that they didn't have sex anymore was more reason for him to seek out other women.

For her part, Rebecca kept the promise she made to herself. She devoted her life to her children. Dance classes, swimming lessons, football practice, French tuition. She ferried her children everywhere. As her husband's work trips increased, she found happiness returning to her life seeing her children succeed and having the house to herself.

Sitting on her bed on her 50^th birthday and looking back at her life, she felt proud as a mother.

Jane had excelled in her studies and had just landed her dream job in Edinburgh. It was torture to have her daughter leave her house, but the smile on Jane's face was enough to let Rebecca part from her daughter. Plus she had to count her blessings, at least Edinburgh was not too far and in the same country meaning she'd get to see her daughter some weekends.

She also took solace that Nick was still in university so would be at home for at least another year.

Nick, her 21-year-old son, who was not only loving but equally respectful. He had grown from being a nerdy little boy who found the company of books more pleasing to people, to being a grown up young man who captained the cricket team and was perpetually in the company of friends. How he transformed himself Rebecca couldn't still figure out but she knew she was more proud of him than she could put into words.

Her life had had purpose, she thought. She had achieved what she had set out to do on that dark day in the laundry room what felt like another lifetime ago.

But yet, something gnawed at her. It snuck up behind her as she lay in bed and presented itself suddenly by tugging at her soul.

She tried to avoid voicing it but the realization only grew, increasing in pace.

And then she voiced it to the empty room, 'I am so lonely.'

A tear slipped her eye as she said it out loud and the loneliness that she had desperately kept an arm's length away, now embraced her. The embrace of a friend who had been there all along but one you've only just opened up to.

She got off the bed and made her way to the full-length mirror in her room. She looked at the face staring back at her and for a second tried to visualize the face that had once smiled so freely.

She leaned in and examined her forehead, the small winkles that were creeping near her eyes were a constant reminder that she wasn't that happy young girl anymore. She felt her face and touched her cheeks -- trying to sense whether they could provide a clue to who she really was.

She took off her top and looked at her neck line. The way her shoulders shaped into her nape still looked the same as it did when she was younger. Her breasts though were different. It was if they belonged to somebody else -- somebody older, somebody that wasn't her. Age had been kind to her for the most parts but she knew these weren't the breasts she once had.

With that, she took off her pajama bottom and stood now completely naked -- taking her whole body in, inch by inch.

She looked at her feet. Then at her legs - which thanks to her regular cycling were still fairly toned. She looked at her pubic hair and wondered when was the last time she had the urge to look sexy and shave down there.

Eventually she brought her gaze back up to her face and looked into the eyes of the woman standing before her.

The eyes looked tired. The spark that danced within them seemed no more.

A sudden urge to talk to somebody swelled within her. But to whom, she wondered.

She reached for her phone and took it back with her to bed. She scrolled through her contact list and not one name on there was anybody she felt she could connect with in this moment.

Yet she was desperate to talk to somebody.

Before she knew it she found herself on the Appstore looking at apps to talk to strangers.

Facebook, no!

Tinder, good god no!

Snapchat, hmmm isn't that what Nick and Jane keep talking about these days?

And with that, her fingers pressed the download button and in a few seconds she found herself registered staring at an empty screen. She chuckled to herself for having gone with LadyEliza as her nickname but then again My Fair Lady had always been her favorite film.

What to do next, she thought. Who should I send a message to?

Unable to properly figure out the full workings of the new app on her phone, Rebecca decided the best course of action would be to send a test message. But now she was faced with an even greater challenge. She didn't know the nickname of anybody she could send a test message to.

And then from the depths of her mind popped Jane's voice teasing her brother. 'Nick you may be the cricket captain, but you surely could have come up with a better snapchat name than CricketerNick'.

And with that she searched for CricketerNick and voila, it worked. She found her son's account. Who better to send a test message than Nick, she concluded.

She clicked his name and suddenly her camera popped open. Obviously this app would need a picture to send as a message, she thought.

With nothing available to click she took a quick snap of her feet since they were the most obvious thing in front of her. And then she noticed a text option and not knowing what to say she quickly scribbled 'Hi Handsome' and sent the message to her son.

'Okay, let's see if what I've done works correctly', she said out loud.

A few seconds went by and nothing happened. Then a whole minute and still nothing.

Just as she was beginning to think she had done something wrong, her phone buzzed showing a new Snapchat message from CrickterNick. She clicked it open and as she did she almost dropped the phone.

The picture message she had received had a big message that said 'Hi gorgeous'.

That didn't shock her.

What shocked her was the fact that the written text was next to what seemed like a massive erection that was fighting to be released from black colored boxers.

As she was looking at her screen, trying to comprehend what her son, her lovely boy, had sent to her, the picture disappeared.

She clicked again the message as she was sure her eyes had deceived her, but try as she might the message wouldn't reopen.

What had she just seen? He wouldn't send that to his mother. But then he didn't know I was his mother who had sent him that message.

The thoughts just swirled in her head as she tried to compute what had just happened.

Before she had a chance to think any further, her phone buzzed again. A new snapchat message from CricketerNick.

I can't open it, she thought.

I have to open it to make sure my eyes weren't playing tricks on me,' another voice within her said.

As the two voices inside her head fought for control, her fingers reached for her phone and clicked open the message.

This time she was completely sure about what she was seeing for this time it wasn't a picture.

This time she had received a video and the video made it pretty clear.

The urge to drop her phone didn't even enter her shocked mind as her eyes were transfixed on a hand, her son's hand, reaching inside the boxers to stroke up and down what looked like a massive penis.

In utter bewilderment Rebecca didn't even realize the 10 seconds of the video were up. The video disappeared leaving her speechless.

That was Nick. That was my son. This was all her mind's voice kept saying over and over again.

She felt shame. She felt embarrassed. She didn't know where to look or what to do next.

The image of her son's hand reaching inside his boxers and stroking a long, hard penis seemed to be playing on repeat in her mind's eye.

Try as she might, she couldn't seem to shake it off.

She found herself breathing faster with shame. She shut her eyes to make the vision disappear but the darkness only amplified her sight as she kept seeing the scene with even greater clarity.

Her son's hand going inside his boxers and moving rhythmically up and down. Up and down.

Up and down whilst holding what looked like a massive penis.

It can't be that big or could it?

She shook her head to shake off the thought. It was her son she was thinking about. Her 21-year old boy who she herself had given birth to.

But once the thought had entered her mind she could escape it no more.

Is his dick really that big?

She couldn't believe she'd just asked herself that but more surprisingly she couldn't believe that her nipples were hardening as she posed that question.

What's going on with me? Am I really getting turned on by my own son's dick? By his HUGE dick?

She was mesmerized. She knew she had to see it.

As if hypnotized and not in control of her actions she reached for her phone -- subconsciously convincing herself that she'd just see the penis quickly and nobody would be the wiser.

She took another picture of her feet and added two new words next to the picture: 'Show Me'.

She threw the phone away the moment she pressed send and went into panic at what she'd just done.

She had just asked her son to send her a picture of his dick.

Just as quickly as she had thrown the phone, she found herself reaching for it the second it buzzed. She opened the message she had received and was stunned.

There was no picture. There was no video. All CricketerNick had sent her were 2 words of his own:

'You First'.

Her hands began to shake as she read the words. She knew this was the moment she was going to make a choice. A choice that she would have to live with for the rest of her life.

She closed her eyes again to try and calm her beating heart, but again that vision flashed before her mind's eye. Her son's hand going under the boxers and stroking his penis up and down.

She knew the decision she was going to make even before she had agreed to the decision. She had to have just one look at that penis properly and then she could rest silently.

She walked to the mirror, opened up snap chat and took a picture of her breasts -- making sure her body was hiding the background to avoid Nick sensing the location.

She looked at the picture to make sure this was the picture she wanted to send. Her breasts hanging softly with her nipples that had been soft only half an hour ago now fully erect.

To avoid any doubt setting in she quickly pressed the send button.

It's done, she said to herself, her heart beating faster and faster.

She started pacing the room. With the phone in her hand, the seconds seemed excruciating.

Then her phone buzzed in her palm -- the vibrations running all through from her hand to her naked body.

She immediately clicked open on the notification.

And there it was. The largest yet most beautifully shaped penis she had ever seen.

The entirely shaved testicles swollen with excitement and pumping blood into what looked like a thick 9 ½ inch penis. The round mushroom head bulging with each stoke of the hand.

The video she was watching was only another 10 seconds but this time the seconds seem to elongate as she stared at the screen. Seeing her son stroking his penis. Strokes that were measured and calm, like that of a man attuned to his body.

Just as the video cut out, she heard a soft moan. The sound of his voice stirring a sense of love within her.

She went and lay down on the bed and closed her eyes. This time not trying to forget what she had seen, but actually trying to remember it. She wanted to visualize again what she had just witnessed. She wanted her mind to show her that strong hand stroking the long, hard penis all the way from the bottom of the shaft to the pink mushroom head. She wanted to savor the vision.

As she did so, she found herself reaching with one hand towards her vagina and to her own surprise, she found it very wet.

Her own son's dick had turned her on. Had turned her on so much that without so much as knowing it, she was already so very wet.

As she spread her pussy lips she surprised herself further. A voice in her head was telling her to feel shame or embarrassment but somehow that voice seemed to be getting more and more distant. They had all given way to a hunger, to yearning far deeper.

A yearning that said she wanted him. That in this moment, her whole body ached for him. She wanted to feel that penis in her hands. She wanted to feel that penis in her mouth. Most of all, she wanted to feel that penis sliding inside her.

Yet her courage wouldn't allow her to go to his room. After all, he didn't know LadyEliza was his own mother and that he was sending videos of his dick to her.

So she picked up her phone again and this time started making a video. A close up of her fingers spreading her pussy lips with her middle finger running the length of her wet vagina to finally settle on rhythmically moving over her clit.

She didn't even realize that as she did so, her microphone caught the sound of her heavy breathing and the soft moans she was now unknowingly releasing.

Rebecca pressed the send button and flung her phone to the side.

She was so turned on that she wanted this moment to last forever. She closed her eyes again trying to focus in on the last video she'd seen whilst at the same time pinching her hard nipples. With one hand firmly over her right breast, she reached down with her left hand and again felt her clit.

With the pleasure rising within her as she played with her clit, her breathing becoming heavier. Her eyes still closed, she started moving her fingers over her clit faster and faster.

She didn't want to cum just yet. She wanted to see that beautiful penis once again but sadly her phone hadn't yet buzzed.

She opened her eyes in the hopes of checking on her phone but the moment her eyes opened she froze.

There before her at the foot of the bed stood her son naked. All 6 feet 2 inches of him. His broad shoulders, his wide chest, his toned abs and his muscular thighs were all there only a touch away. Her eyes darted to his hands that parted to his sides to reveal that beautiful erect penis. Right there in front of her.

She had been so furiously masturbating that she hadn't even heard him come in -- let alone know that her son had been standing there stroking his dick whilst looking at her play with herself.

When did he come in? How long had he been standing there? How did he know it was her?

The questions just barraged across her mind like a runaway train.

'Nick I -- ' was all she managed to stammer before he leapt onto the bed and was on top of her.

With her face looking up at him, as their naked bodies brushed against each other's skin, she looked into his eyes. Just as she was about to say something, he brought his lips down towards her.

With the feel of his hard chest resting on her naked breasts, she found herself reaching up to meet her son's kiss. Their lips locking in a way neither mother nor son had ever thought possible with each other before.