A Mother's Love

On this pleasantly warm afternoon I am laid on my sun lounger in the shade of an old oak tree at the bottom of my secluded garden. My daughter, Abigail, is suckling contentedly on my plump milk filled breast. My two year bold little boy, Jacob is playing happily in the sandpit.

Nearer the house my beloved man is trimming the hedge. His shirtless body has a sheen of sweat as he works in the sun. As I watch the birds fluttering round the bird feeders my mind drifts back to how my life has changed from sudden heartbreak to the delightful life I have now.

It all started a few years ago when my loving husband and soulmate, Jacob, died suddenly of a heart attack at work. We had been married for twenty one years and if it wasn't for our twenty year old son, Adam, I don't think I would have got through the loss. I could never have thought that it could end up like this.

I found out about Jacobs demise from his works manager when he called to the house to give me the news. I was distraught and didn't know what to do. He called Adam at work who came straight home. Between us we managed to find out what to do.

Barely functioning, I managed to get through the funeral and sorting out the will, which left me with the house paid for and some serious investments which gave me a comfortable living provided that I didn't go wild with spending.

None of this mattered as I didn't have Jacob. I missed him so much. I missed his easy smile and sense of humour. I missed his warm body next to me in bed. I even missed his stinky farts. In grief, I didn't miss our love life but I would eventually and that is part of my story.

After all the formalities were over, I just shut down. I went to bed one night, wearing a thin strap baby doll nightie and and a pair of skimpy knickers which tied at each side. You may think it was a strange choice but it was the thing Jacob liked the most.

The next morning I didn't get up. I didn't get out of bed at all apart from visits to the toilet. I only ate sparingly when Adam was home and he brought me something.

I didn't get up the next day, or the next, or the day after that. I have no idea how long this went on but Adam brought it to an end.

Normally, when he brings me breakfast, he's either fully dressed or in a dressing gown. This particular morning he was just in his boxers and he didn't have anything with him.

He walked over to the bed and pulled back the covers, grabbed my arm and pulled me out of bed.

"What are you doing?" I yelled as I struggled to get back to bed.

"Mother, you stink." was his reply as he hoisted me over his shoulder.

"Put me down. I'm your mother. You shouldn't be treating me like this." I yelled as I hammered on his back with both hands.

He ignored me as he carried me into the bathroom where the shower was already running. He set me down in the shower and the water made my nightie stick to my breasts and become transparent, showing my nipples.

I huddled facing the wall with an arm across my breasts and a hand between my legs and the knickers were now soaked like the nightie.

Embarrassed and ashamed I sobbed.

"Stop it. You shouldn't be seeing me like this. I'm your mother. You can't do this. Get off me."

He ignored me and tried to pull the nightie over my head but I kept tight hold of it. Undeterred he snapped the thin straps and pulled it down. I fought as hard as I could to no avail. It slipped down my body and soon the ties on the knickers were undone and they joined the nightie on the floor.

Oh! the shame. No son should ever see his mother like this. My naked boobs, affected by gravity, my stretch marked stomach with the caesarian scar and the beginnings of cellulite on my thighs were not things a son should see.

Adam didn't seem to notice, or care. He started to wash me, starting with my hair and working downwards. He washed everywhere, including places that no son should touch on his mother.

I was mortified and sobbing all the time. This was not right but it was happening.

He rinsed me off and left me there, huddled in the shower crying.

I dried myself off and despite trying not to I had to admit that I felt a lot better. Determined to go back to bed I went into the bedroom to find the bed stripped and a bra, panties, skirt and top laid on the bed.

The curtains were still closed but the window had been opened. Despite the fresh air there was still a lingering smell, which wasn't very pleasant. Because I had lived with it I hadn't noticed it, but Adam had.

With a sigh, I dressed and opened the curtains to see a bright sunny day outside. As I left the bedroom the smell of something cooking hit me and I realised that I was very hungry.

Still angry with Adam, as soon as I saw him I let fly.

"What the hell did you think you were doing up there?" I yelled. " You had no right to do that to me."

"You needed cleaning up. You weren't going to do it yourself." He replied calmly.

"It still wasn't right."

"Maybe not, but it's done now. Do you want breakfast?"

I had to admit to myself that he was right but I wasn't going to admit it to him.

The smell of breakfast got to me.

"Yes please. I would love some breakfast."

He set down a plate of scrambled eggs with bacon, and a cup of coffee, which I ate in silence, still not willing to let my anger go.

Adam left for work shortly after, leaving me wondering what to do with the rest of the day. I looked around the kitchen and although Adam had kept it in reasonable shape, there were things that still weren't to my standards. I set to and took out my anger on the kitchen until it was how I wanted it.

That took up most of the morning and also kept my mind away from thinking of Jacob. I still missed him but my shut down period seemed to have taken away the intense grief.

After a sandwich and a cup of coffee, I went upstairs and made my bed. I contemplated jumping back into it but decided against it. I was beginning to accept that Adam was right that I needed to be living a normal life again, I just didn't agree with how he did it. I blushed with shame at the thought that he had seen me naked and all the places he had touched.

Back downstairs I started preparing a meal for Adam coming home, just as I would have done for Jacob.

When Adam came home we ate at the table.

"You were right in a way this morning." I said. "I did need to pull myself together and lying in bed wasn't doing me any good.. I just disagree with the way you went about it."

" I don't think talking to you would have done any good, would it?" He replied. "It was extreme, but it worked."

"You shouldn't have seen me naked though. That was wrong."

" Maybe but there was no other way to do it. You don't have anything to be ashamed about with your body."

I didn't have a reply to that so I let the subject drop.

We cleaned up after the meal and settled down to watch TV for the evening.

Life went on. I cooked and cleaned. Adam went to work. He worked two part time jobs. It wasn't his ideal but the firm he used to work for went bust and he was laid off. I told him he didn't need to work but he insisted in paying his way as much as he could.

This made mealtimes a bit of a problem but we worked round it. He was very good at telling me if he would be in for food or not.

As time progressed I began to notice that Adam was dressing and acting just like Jacob used to. I was puzzled. I'm not sure if he always did or is this a change. It was just like having my old Jacob back in every way except in my bed.

Whoa! Were did that thought come from? I shouldn't be having thoughts like that about my son. I pushed it to the back of my mind but it kept popping up along with a tingling between my thighs and dampness in my knickers.

This is not good. I have to do something to take my mind off this. It didn't help that I haven't had sex for a long time. I was used to having sex at least twice a week and I was missing it.

Once a week I went out for lunch with friends which was good fun but quite often the subject of sex came up and hearing about their activities didn't help at all.

I joined a book club and had a great time. It was mostly women but there were two men as well. I didn't particularly like either of them so there was no chance of any thing happening with them.

My frustration grew and I was constantly thinking about sex. Jacob was a well endowed man with a thick seven inches. I wondered if Adam was as big and what he would be like inside me. I knew I shouldn't even think these things but I couldn't help it.

One Thursday, I was going out for lunch. There was only one friend, Wendy, going this time. Adam was home but said he was going out for the afternoon.

I'd just got into town when Wendy rang to say she couldn't make it as her son was ill. That was a blow but I had nothing else to do in town so I headed home. Expecting Adam to be out, I didn't call out as I went in, just took off my shoes and headed upstairs to change.

As I walked up the stairs I heard a voice.

" Oh! God, Adam, That's so good. I love your cock in me."

Shocked, I crept along the landing. The voice was coming from Adam's room. The door was open and I saw Adam between two white thighs pounding his cock into her wet pussy.

I was transfixed by the sight and my hand went between my legs to rub my soaking hole. My emotions were running high. I was jealous of her. That cock should be in me. I wanted to scratch her eyes out. All feelings I know I shouldn't have.

Of course I did nothing. The embarrassment it would cause all round if they knew I'd been watching would be more than I could bear. I watched for a couple more minutes before creeping away downstairs.

One thing I learnt was that Adam was very well endowed. He was at least as big a Jacob if not bigger. I desperately wanted him inside me even though it was wrong. I didn't dare bring it up with Adam in case it broke us. Frustrated doesn't describe my feelings well enough.

I quietly left the house, rolled my car down the drive before starting it, and drove out of town. My horniness was driving me crazy so I drove to a woodland car park and parked up in a secluded corner. There was only one other car there in the far corner and it seemed to be empty.

Once parked I quickly pulled up my dress, took off my knickers and stuffed my fingers into my sopping hole. It wasn't a cock but it would have to do. I was gasping and shaking as I brought myself to a shattering orgasm.

As I was coming down I noticed a shadow at the window. I jumped and quickly puled my dress down. I looked and saw a stocky bearded bloke stood there watching me. He mouthed something at me. I couldn't make out what he was saying so I would the window down an inch.

"That was a great show. Thank you. Do you need a hand?"

This could be risky but I hadn't had a man's touch in so long. I wound the window fully down. He leaned in and began stroking my breasts with one hand whilst the other went straight to my pussy.

His fingers soon found there way inside me and he started to plunge them in and out vigorously. I orgasmed as soon as he started and just kept on going. The heat was rising through my body and I could feel myself reddening across my neck and chest. As the orgasm subsided I reached out to his fly and started to undo it. It was a struggle but I managed to get his cock out and began stroking it. It wasn't the biggest but it was rock hard.

His fingers were good but I really wanted a cock in me. Adam would be my first choice but he was unattainable. This guy would do.

I opened the car door and swung round with my legs spread outside, showing him what I had.

"Do you want to fuck me?" I asked.

He didn't answer but moved towards me. He was just lowering himself to get into me when he said.

"Shit. Somebody's coming."

I looked round and saw a car coming towards us. I quickly got back in the car and pulled my skirt down. He was just as quick getting his cock back in his trousers.

A car pulled up beside us and a man, woman and two children got out. It was bad for me and him but lucky that the car came when it did or the children might have seen something they shouldn't see.

Very frustrated but not willing to hang around to try again I said thanks to the guy and drove home.

By the time I got home it was around the normal time from a lunch meet, but Adam wasn't in anyway so he wouldn't ask any questions.

I took a quick trip upstairs to clean up and put on some clean knickers before starting to prepare a meal. That night in bed I was frustrated and horny. My fingers worked furiously in my soaking hole as I imagined Adam working his glorious meat into me. Having seen what he had, I wanted him even more.

I wished I could get these unnatural thoughts out of my head. They were driving me crazy.

A new guy joined the book club and he was very interesting. He was tall and broad shouldered like Jacob and Adam. He also had a similar personality.

I was drawn to him and after one meeting we were walking out together he asked.

"Would you like to go for a coffee, Kate?"

It took all of half a second for me to reply. "That would be nice thank you."

We spent a couple of hours over coffee and the time just flew. He was so charming and fun to talk to. I was really warming to him. He wasn't pushy at all.

It became a regular thing after the book club. He held my hand when we were walking there and kissed me on the cheek when we parted. It felt pretty good.

Back at home, things were really strange. When we were both at home Adam and I worked together cooking and washing up. He was always close to me and often managed to brush his arm on the side of my breast. If he passed behind me he would brush against me even when there was plenty of room. Each contact like that made me wet and want him more,

I was confused. Was he giving me signals that he was interested. I certainly was and would have taken him at any time. I didn't dare respond to his actions in case I'd read it wrong. That would have destroyed our relationship. My frustration continued.

When I told Adam about the new man I had met, he seemed to cool towards me. He stopped rubbing against me and kept his distance. I'd enjoyed his touches and the fact that he'd stopped when I mentioned a new man made me suspect that his touches hadn't been accidental and were probably indications of interest in me. I was a bit upset that they stopped, but again was afraid of making any comment or taking things further despite wanting to.

My new man eventually asked me to have lunch with him and I agreed. I drove to town and met him at the restaurant. It was a warm day so I was wearing a loose top and a flared knee length cotton skirt with my normal white bra and knickers. Bare legs and 3" heels finished my attire.

We lingered over a delightful meal and over coffee he asked.

"What would you like to do with the rest of the afternoon?"

I was horny and would have liked to say I want you to fuck me but I didn't.

"I know a nice walk by the river."

"OK. I'll drive, you direct me."

I directed him to the riverside car park and we strolled along the pathway. We stopped at a viewing point and leaned on the railings just watching the wild fowl on the river.

Up to now our relationship had been largely platonic but I wanted more so I leaned against him and kissed him on the lips. He responded instantly. His lips opened and my tongue found his. I wrapped my arms around his neck and ground my body into his. His hands were roaming all over me, up and down my sides, brushing the sides of my breasts. Then one hand would run down my back and grip my buttock pulling me in and I could feel his hardness.

I was getting very wet and almost on the point of orgasm and I really wanted him inside me. He sensed this and asked.

"Where can we go?

I thought for a moment and said.

"Your car?"

"If there's nobody about, that will be fine."

We walked back to the car. Once we were in the back seat it started.

He was straight on me, no messing about. It wasn't rape because I wanted it but he was forceful.

I reckon it was less than a minute before I had his cock in my hand. My top and bra were up round my neck and his mouth was sucking and nibbling at a nipple. My skirt was up and his hand was in my knickers and his fingers were vigorously working in and out of my wet willing hole.

The feelings were out of this world, made all the more intense by the thought that we could be caught.

"Oh! God. Yes....yes...yes." I gasped as he skilfully brought me to an earth shattering orgasm. My hips were bucking against his hand as I writhed on the seat. Every fibre of my body was tingling and I felt as though I would explode as he worked his fingers in me.

I pulled his cock towards me and said.

"Fuck me Adam"

He stopped, took his fingers from my pussy and prised his cock from my hand. He fastened himself up and got into the front without a word.

As he drove back to town I got myself straightened out. I was mortified. I'd called him Adam when his name was Tony. Not only had I not got what I wanted, I'd seriously upset a very nice man. Judging by the look on his face, I wouldn't be seeing him again.

I didn't intend to call him Adam but it just showed where my mind was. It was like this all the time even though I knew I shouldn't be having thoughts of Adam in that way but I couldn't seem to stop.

Back in town he pulled up by the side of the road. He just sat staring out of the windscreen, not saying anything. I took the hint and got out of the car. I went to his window to apologise but he drove away without even looking at me.

As I walked to my car, I felt very sorry for myself. Sorry for upsetting him but, perhaps selfishly for myself. I'd had a great orgasm with him, but fingers aren't the same as a warm cock and a real body between my thighs. It's been a long time since I had that and two opportunities had ended in failure.

Adam was home when I got home and he saw my face.

"You don't look too happy, Mam." He said.

" I'm not really. I've just broken up with a lovely guy"

"Oh dear." He said. "I know that's not good for you but there is somebody out there who really loves you. You just have to see who it is."

"Yes, I can only hope I find him"

"I'm sure you will."

Life went on and I sometimes thought about that conversation. Was there a hidden meaning from Adam? I don't know.

I really wanted Adam but couldn't act on it directly, so I tried to see if I could give him signals. If he was interested, as I thought he was, he may act on them.

Searching through my wardrobe I found some lower cut tops and slightly shorter skirts that still fit me and started to wear them every now and again to see Adam's reaction. I noticed when I wore them that he seemed to try looking down my top or up my skirt when the opportunity presented itself. He never did any more than that. I couldn't think of any other way and I was frustrated.

I did notice that the old Adam came back, standing close to me and rubbing past me whenever he could. My pussy tingled when he did and my knickers were always damp when he was around doing that.

I used to go to bed wishing he would come in and just fuck me, but he never did. You could cut the tension between us with a knife, it was so strong. I was still afraid to act on anything. Frustration became my life.

Time passed with me giving signals to Adam and Adam doing things which I read as signals but nothing happened.

Adam's birthday was coming up so I booked a table at a high end restaurant, and a taxi there and back so both of us could have a drink.

I couldn't decide what to wear and it took me an age going through my clothes. I couldn't be too revealing in the restaurant but wanted to show Adam a bit of skin. I settled on a green silk blouse that I could unbutton if I needed, a low cut bra which only just supported my boobs, a black knee length pleated skirt, and some bikini knickers. I had a shawl over my shoulders and a small handbag.