All Comments on 'A New Life'

Looking forward to many more!!!!

I'm enjoying the start. Wish it was longer. More in depth. Still needs some editing. This jumped out at me: he looked even more a giant that in the car. ( "than" in the car.)

Looking forward to her transition, some humiliation and how much she submits or if she just accepts her fate.

Your first story is wonderful. I am sure it will only get better as you write. My acquaintance had gotten rejected multiple times but was finally rewarded with a published story. I did multiple edits for him and enjoyed that he finally got published. Best of luck with your further stories.

Good first story. I imagine that your previous submissions have been rejected because this story is very close to kidnapping and rape. I personally am against kidnapping and rape and so is this site. You should probably include more about how your protagonist is reluctant at first but then finds he/she like what Beth and James are doing to him/her; ie "I couldn't believe how pretty I looked now that I was a woman", I thought. "I was almost ready to thank James for showing me this side of myself." Something like that may help.

What would also help is splitting up your story into paragraphs correctly. Just like I did here in my comment. A new focuses or main idea requires a new paragraph. If a new person starts talk, you need a new paragraph. Sometimes even if the same person is talking but something has happened between the first time they spoke to the second time they spoke, you need a new paragraph. There are a couple of times that you have one person talking followed by another person talking in the same paragraph.

Which brings me to my next point. (See how I used a transition and started a new paragraph) Please also use quotation marks. There are quite a few times where you either didn't use quotation marks or used them incorrectly. It's hard to determine when we are hearing the protagonist speak or just listening to his thoughts.

Don't be afraid to ask for help. There are lots of very nice people on this site who will be more than happy to edit your stuff and work with you. I mean I know this is smut and so naturally it does not have to be to the quality of say a term paper or a published book but multiple errors distract the reader. I for one cannot spill kite, I mean spell cat, but thanks to my editors I get a lot of my errors before my stories get published. Then my nice readers send be a comment or an email and I submit and edit update.

I hope that helps.

more pleas

Wow!!! Great story. Keep going with the transformation and wearing female clothes. Especially some pink panties. Also have him get a new name and fucked for the first time. I was very hard when I read this. Keep writing!!

This Is an amazing story and would love to be in this situation. I'd love to read the next chapter.

Thanks to everyone for your comments and suggestions. I thought I had all my paragraphs and parentheses in place, but, after the third edit, obviously messed up. I'll try to be more diligent in my next one.

more on this story please

Longer and more please

Oh please continue - please

Yes. I want to be her experiencing the transformation.

I just simply love Black Cock.