All Comments on 'A Passionate Night - A List'

Definitely Divorce...!

"Be the best wife you can be"

Really? The best she can be after choosing to be a lying cheating whore for the rest of her life?

Hopefully her husband discovers her infidelity and gives her the lifetime of pain she deserves

Never again read your stories.

Sheila here is my list:

Day 1: i see my advocate

Day 2: i delete all creditcards and get ninety percent of our money.

Day 3: i am buying a new house for me. Our home will be delete

Day 4: you give me blowjob and your ass bitch

Day 5: i fuck your friends

Day 6: i see his wife and told her a good story about her husband.

Day 7: you were served.

Goodbye dirty bitch and whore

She forgot the first thing on her husband's list. Don't fuck around.

This has been written from the Point of View of a big, invisible eye in the sky. The eye is just reporting what is observed BUT, and this is important, cannot report on what the individual participants are thinking. However, as an author, you use the eye to leap from one to the other's POV. This is impossible which makes the tale ridiculous.

The actual writing is fine but you need to write from one POV at a time. Switching it can be difficult but is possible but you can't do both at the same time.

Just her. She knows who she is too. I am James.

Can't wait for the writer who has the imagination and balls to tell us how one day both of these arrogant cheaters get legally and emotionally butt fucked, by their respective spouses. I hope it hurts for as long as their memory of each other lasts.

Thanks for the effort.

There was no real development of the two characters or the situation they were in, simply that they had both gone to the convention with the intent of finding somebody with whom they could have adulterous sex. LenardSpencer commented that the 'big eye in the sky' can't give both viewpoints of the situation, but I believe it can -- third person narration is fine here.

The main part of GoodJames story seems to be the texted list, and the initial 'passionate night' mainly provided the opportunity to produce the list. But I thought that the list itself then fell flat, and could have been much more creatively written.

I'm not sure from the list whether the idea was for Sheila to hint her infidelity to her husband, although how she could "moan 'James' five times with his cock down your throat" would be an interesting exercise. Doing so at the same time as "Be the best wife you can be" will take some inventiveness on her part.

So I thought the idea had possibility, but fell short of achieving it.

Lue

Ps: How many people sat in the 'council' that he was the source of?

Whore

Never read something this bad ever again.

so when does the slut get caught

Two mistakes in the first paragraph, a fucking record!

Stories are mainly fiction based on truth like movies . This was a good story but most I know that travel for work are fucking mostly married woman from there same industries or the hotels booked are usually common for travelers. Some friends have woman that they see a few times a year or once a month on the road . One is fucking this really hot older woman whose kids are as old or older than him. He says after a fuck in the shower she was giving him a really long bj. He had her lick his balls thaa as n pushed her head lower and asked her to rim his ass. Her tells her she d Scd Gould do all this with hubby also but she claims she doesn’t . He’s taken her to strip clubs and one time to a sex club in la. He told a huge dicked black guy to fuck her. She was a little on the racist side and obviously never fucked a black guy, He most aggressively fucked her and verbally abused her. Making her beg for it , he came in all three holes and while totally pounding her ass was having her yell she loved black cock . He said it was totally insane and he fucked three other woman that night also. That was just one of six for her. They never did that again. He also bumped into her hubby and family in Aruba . He fucked her all week . She would sneak off for a quickly or a bj every day. It’s pretty sick but probably more than half married people cheat . I’m happy to believe that I or my wife don’t but still like a good fiction stoff Rh y or live through the other who are.

Tried to be clever and lost it completely. Most uninteresting story in a while. Read more like a list than a story.

Great story, but it would be even better if the list was played out on here, especially with all the little disrespects to the husband and how far Sheila would take them/enjoy them. Also would have loved to read what she wrote in the letter.