All Comments on 'A Perfect Planning'

Your ideas are fine, and you are careful about grammar and spelling. Thank you. But you rely too much on a thesaurus as the connotations of words change the meaning in a sentence. So try to use smaller, simpler words and sentences. Besides, in dialogue that is how people, especially Americans, talk.

One small point: the phrase is "Ma'am." You left out one "a."

She could have tried to interest her hubby in a full swap. Think sequel here.

It's so heartwarming to see authors bash on another author's writing. Oh wait,no it isn't.

The story fits the stated LW criteria. English is obviously not the author's first language, but the story IS understandable. Hubby is elaborately introduced, then has essentially NO other function in the rest of this story (which violates a LickideeSplit LW criterion!)

A horny young married woman is trying to haul her own ashes (with some degree of success) when a co-worker and her Hubby decide to trick her into an FMF threesome (with a surprising degree of ease and success!) It is not at all clear how the co-worker would know that her target would be that responsive, given that the risk was fairly substantial. The ploy did have a moderately safe (and pleasant) fallback option where the couple just 'do' each other in a new venue!

An editor would stand the author in good stead, preferably one who is a native speaker of English (even an Aussie who can't spell 'grammatical' would suffice!)

4* (includes a point for guts!)

It seems the wife's colleague was a bit of shit really. She gambled on seducing her with Gary her husband for there own selfish sexual gratification. No regard for the wife or potential infidelity issues the wife will have when husband gets back from his business trip.

If there is a chapter 2 then it could be when the husband confronts his with video secretly taken of her having a FFM.

How will she deal with the discovery and even worse when hears the recording of wanting to repeat the FFM encounter.

Wow after a long time I came across such a fabulous erotic adventure. Female protagonists being Indian made it more arousing as I can fantasise my wife being part of it. Well done. Keep writing.

Lame story, very lousy writing. If you can't do it well, don't use English. That was just really bad.