A Place Beyond The Horizon Ch. 12

[Aidan's marriage has been shattered by his wife's cheating. Unable to cope with the thing Rosa did, he boarded a plane and put as much distance between them as possible. From Australia, making new friends in Sydney, to meeting Kat and sharing her bed, he finds himself in Los Angeles as the personal trainer and lover to Mara Fey, Hollywood A-Lister and one of the most famous women on the planet. As he becomes more deeply entangled in Mara's life, Rosa becomes more distant, leaving Aidan more lonely than ever.

The background to Aidan's story can be found in Oxygen Games by oneagainst, continued here with permission.]

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THE NORTH STAR

Aidan wakes up to an empty house. He pulls on his shorts and heads out for a run, up to Santa Monica pier and then further on, leaving the crowds behind until there are only the occasional cyclists and runners like himself, exercising in the early morning light. The wind has blown itself out overnight, and the sea is like glass, the air fresh, and the sky a cloudless blue.

He knows that he has no claim to Mara, but he still feels jealous. Mara has spent the night with Andrew, and Aidan feels passed over. It's not the same as with Rosa, though. That had been entirely different; from Rosa he had felt entitled to... what? Loyalty? Respect? Theo's words are still ringing in his ears, the revelation that Rosa is struggling, the idea that Aidan is the only one who can help her. He's a long way up the beach now, and there's no-one around. He stops at a water fountain for a drink, looking back along the way he's come, at the dark finger of Santa Monica pier sticking out into the sea in the distance. He gets out his phone and before he can really think about it, he calls his wife.

"Morning," he says.

"Hey, Aidan, morning," Rosa replies.

"Wanna do video?"

"Nah, I look like shit. Let's just stick to voice."

"Rosa, you never look like shit."

He's slipped in a little complement, his voice light and friendly, but when Rosa replies it's in a dull monotone.

"Trust me."

Aidan diverts the conversation.

"I'm just out on a run and thought I'd give you a call."

"To check in?"

"To see what's up. How've you been?"

"Same."

There's a pause, but Rosa doesn't seem to feel the need to elaborate.

"So, what you got on today?" Aidan asks, instead.

"Uh, the usual stuff," Rosa replies, "Same as always."

Each question hits a dead end, and Aidan finds himself struggling to keep the flow going.

"How're you, though?"

"I said the same."

Aidan's getting nowhere, so he decides to change tack.

"Look, uh, I've been thinking about our last conversation. I'm sorry about the stuff with Davey. I hadn't meant to make that a big deal."

There is silence for a moment, then, "So, Davey isn't a big deal?"

Aidan finds himself gripping the phone tightly. The way Rosa says it, the combative inflection in her voice, it's pushing his buttons, just like she did when they were together, towards the end. It evokes the memory of them sitting together on the couch when she revealed that the IVF cycle hadn't worked, brushing it and him off, like nothing mattered.

"I didn't say that. Davey is a big deal. It's something we have to talk about."

"Not about your movie star?"

"Rosa, she's not my movie star."

"Like, what does that mean? Either you're fucking her or you aren't."

"What does that matter? We hang out, and we work together. But we're not together. Not like...."

"Davey?"

"Yeah, like that." Aidan pauses, knowing that he has to ask the question, dreading the answer. "Are you together?"

He hears Rosa sigh, and for a long while, there is silence on the line. When Rosa replies, her voice is flat.

"Look, maybe talking isn't such a good idea."

Aidan freezes. "What do you mean?" he asks, warily.

"Davey thinks that maybe it's not helping me. He says that afterwards, I'm worse."

"Rosa," Aidan replies, "What do you think? It's what you think that counts."

"I... I dunno. I... uh... it all gets too much."

The way she stammers tugs at him. This is not the Rosa he first saw that day at the championships with the gold medal around her neck, full of life; it's not the woman he married, the one who always gave as good as she got.

"Rosa, what's going on?"

"Maybe we should just not do this."

The words hit him like a blow.

"Maybe I just can't do this," she continues, her voice softer now, cracking, "Maybe we need to...."

"Do you want me to go away?" he grates, trying to keep from tipping headlong into the abyss he feels is opening up beneath him, "Are you saying this is it?"

Now, at last, he sees it for what it is. Getting on the plane to Sydney, meeting Kat, falling in with Mara, the endless, listless drifting, it's all because he's lost. He's sinking still, drowning in the deep, his lifeline cut the moment Rosa had come home after cheating. But he knows what he wants, he can feel it. He wants to make it right. He wants to come home. Gritting his teeth, he summons up the courage to say the words: three words. It's all it takes.

"Rosa," he begins.

The line goes dead.

"I love you."

It's too little, too late. He's out of time.

---

When he gets back to Mara's house, she's home.

"Good run?" she asks as he comes in.

"I guess."

"Where'd you go?"

"Up the beach and back, past the pier."

"A long one."

Mara is making herself a coffee. She looks tired.

"Want one?"

Aidan shakes his head. "No, I need to rehydrate."

Standing next to her at the sink in the kitchen area, he can see the marks around her throat.

"So how was it?" Aidan asks, "Catching up with Andrew?"

"The same as usual."

Aidan reaches out, running fingertips over the bruised skin of her neck, but Mara pulls away. She takes her coffee and perches on a bar stool at the breakfast bench. Aidan pours himself a glass of water and leans against the counter, looking at her.

"Come on, Aidan, get it off your chest."

Aidan has questions to ask, but after the call with Rosa, he just feels drained.

"It's fine, Mara, really. You spent the night with your boyfriend. It's fine."

Mara runs a hand through her unkempt blonde hair, bowing her head and letting it fall around her face.

"He's not my boyfriend," she responds, reflexively.

"It's none of my business. You have history with him, you spent the night, it's okay."

"But he's not my boyfriend."

"What is he then?"

"He's just a friend."

Aidan sighs, suddenly feeling bone-weary.

"We don't need to play games, Mara. I can see what he wants, it's...."

"Obvious?"

Mara looks up, her piercing blue eyes suddenly alive.

"Uh, he made no secret of it yesterday at lunch."

"You feeling edged out?"

There is an edge to her tone. Aidan takes a moment to choose his words before replying.

"I'm not sure what's going on between us, Mara, but one thing I know for sure. I'm not your boyfriend. I have no claim over you, we're not in a relationship."

"So you're saying I'm free to fuck other guys? I got your permission?"

Aidan puts his glass down and draws a deep breath. Not again, he thinks bitterly, not both of them in the same morning. He doesn't have the mental capacity, after Rosa's last words to him. Mara's tone is still even, conversational, but she's probing. Aidan feels lost. He needs to find a direction, but he can't navigate his way through any of this. Like Mara's comment about the Hollywood sign, he needs to find a point to orientate himself around, but he's lost it. Rosa has always been his North Star. Now, after her words this morning, the brutality of it, he's been cut adrift.

Mara surprises him, putting down her coffee and coming over to him. She wraps her arms around him and buries her head in his chest. Aidan pauses, then wraps his own arms around her shoulders, feeling the warmth of her body.

"Rough morning?" she murmurs, her face buried in his t-shirt.

"Uh huh," Aidan confesses, "I talked to Rosa."

"Ha. So, we both had hard conversations this morning," Mara replies, "We're quite the pair."

He holds her, feeling the way she breathes. Mara is strange and complicated, but there is a connection there. It's not about the sex, or the body image, or the endless treadmill of fame. Once more, she's the woman he talked to in the car in the dawn in the Outback: Mara from Kansas, both of them a long way from home.

"I know what Andrew wants, Aidan. He's offered plenty of times. He thinks we'd be great together."

"What do you think?"

"I don't know," she murmurs, "I just don't know. I mean, we're compatible. We've talked it all through. We have similar lifestyles, we spend our lives on the move. He doesn't want kids, and it's not an option for me anyway. He says that we'd look good together as a couple."

"Could you live with him?"

"Live with him? Love him? Could I build a life with him?"

She shrugs in his arms.

"I guess, maybe. I guess my days of flings and wild nights are kinda getting behind me now."

"But you don't know if he's the right one."

"No," she replies, pressing her face against him, "And I don't want to go down that rabbit hole if there's nothing for me at the bottom."

She surprises Aidan with a little laugh, saying, "The war against love."

Eventually, she pulls away from him.

"You smell like a farm."

"Sorry."

Mara's smiling up at him now.

"You coming to Tokyo with me?"

"Sure."

"You wanna stay with Andrew?"

"Whatever you want."

"Because I'm the boss?"

"Something like that."

"Go get washed."

"Yes, boss."

Later, after his shower, he finds her perched on a sun lounger in the courtyard by the plunge pool, peppermint tea in a glass cup on the little outside table, laptop in her hands. Aidan is carrying a bowl of muesli and a glass of orange juice.

"Whatcha working on?" he asks, taking a seat at the table near her.

"The screenplay," Mara responds, not looking up from the laptop.

"How's it going?"

"Really good. I was so stuck, but now the characters are kinda coming to life. It's coming along in leaps and bounds."

"Can I see?"

"Not yet. When I'm done with the first draft. Won't be long."

Aidan smiles at her, but Mara doesn't notice. Her attention is fixed on the screen. Aidan finishes his breakfast quietly, watching Mara work. He likes watching her like this, the intent, focused expression on her beautiful face, because at moments like this she drops her guard. She isn't putting up a façade, charming people, handling situations. The real Mara is quiet, contemplative and highly intelligent. It's a stark contrast to the Mara he saw at lunch with Andrew.

Eventually he gets up and pads inside with his empty bowl.

"The flight is at four," she calls out after him, "We need to leave by twelve, latest."

"Okay. What's the weather like there?"

"Tokyo? No idea, you should look it up. It's either been freezing cold or hotter than hell whenever I've gone."

"You wanna do a training session before we get on the plane?"

At last, Mara looks up from the screen.

"Nah, I wanna finish this. Besides, I think I'm as good as I'm gonna get."

She flashes him a dazzling smile and then her attention reverts to the laptop.

"Ready for your big scene?" he asks.

Mara nods distractedly. "Ready to walk down the staircase. Looking forward to it, finally."

Aidan leaves her to it, heading into the house to pack.

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[Next chapter: They land in Tokyo and thing begin to heat up as temptation is offered to Aidan.

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