A Religious Experience

*Stories from the real world 2

This story is slightly autobiographical.

I was twenty-two in 1987.

You couldn't just order anything you wanted on the computer, with no social interaction, and get whatever you wanted. You had to go out in the real world and stand on a real line, and talk to a cashier, then pass people when you were done, and then take everything you bought home and hope nobody asked you any questions. Ugh.

I knew I liked girls' clothes when I was nine. I decided this was something I wanted to pursue. I figured the house had 4 women in it now, what's the difference if there was another one. That's when I knew I was a crossdresser. I called myself Donna, and I never told anyone. There were always different outfits around, I had three older sisters, and lots to choose from. I just had to figure out how to do it so no one knew it was me. The basement of the house became a sanctuary. We had a big bathroom down there, with long mirrors, and I would lock the door and try on everything I found in the hampers or any clothing destined for the wash. I also took some pictures that I sent away by mail and two weeks later they came back all developed. Things were wonderfully quick back then.

Years later in the winter of 1987, I had a substantial amount of woman's items, I called my own. I got some from my Mother and the sisters, and some I bought. Buying female clothes as a male was the hardest part about crossdressing. All I wanted was to shop for dresses and heels and especially pantyhose and stockings. That's what I really loved. I had used every excuse, thinking that no one ever heard them before. I was buying this for my girlfriend or sister, and it was so soul-crushing not to be able to try anything on. Once you were home, there was no going back and exchanging if it didn't fit. Usually, I wouldn't even go back to the same store ever again. I figured they were all talking about me, but once I gained a couple of outfits I was fine, I could relax a little while. It was the stockings that tended to get runs or get stretched out, so I was always looking to acquire more.

I lived in Brooklyn, in the basement of my parent's house back then. I was the only child left, all the sisters were either married or on their own. To get to my apartment there was a sloped driveway that led to a backyard, this is where I parked my car. The door to my place was in the alleyway, directly across from another basement door. The Kaplling's lived there. They were a Jewish family, led by Rabbi Ira Kaplling, his wife, and at least seven kids. I couldn't keep track of the little ones. Once one left, the wife would become pregnant again.

I was coming home late one night from a pharmacy I frequented in Queens, of all places. I used to go with a list and make-believe I was picking up items for my mother. In actuality, I just wanted to buy pantyhose. This was my true obsession. I would get various sundries, but always end up with at least five pairs of stockings, and sometimes makeup. I was a little obsessed with mascara. I parked in my backyard and made my way to the side door to get to the apartment. This night I had two shopping bags. I was startled and I ran into Rabbi Ira, I dropped one of the bags. Back then Leggs pantyhose came in a package shaped like an egg, and suddenly all the eggs were rolling down the alleyway. I was so embarrassed as he apologized and helped me with 'my mothers' pantyhose.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to surprise you." He said. I was sweating and my heart was racing. I didn't want anyone to look out their window but more importantly, I didn't want him to think all of these items were for me.

"I just came back from the store for my mother," I told him as I put the Leggs into the bag.

"Nothing beats a great pair of Leggs." He said to me. I just smiled. He kept on talking to me. "You know from that commercial."

"Yes, I know," I told him. His voice got a little quieter as he looked up towards the windows of his house.

"Alya doesn't wear stockings." Alya was his wife, the two of them must have been in their early forties back then.

"Oh." I didn't know what to say, we usually just talked about the weather, I have never talked to him this long before. I told him, "I better go, goodnight." He stood outside watching me until I entered the side door.

I was so tense I had to jump in the shower and try to relax, plus I wanted to try on my new acquisitions.

***

A couple of days passed and I ran into Rabbi K. again. "I have something for you, just wait one second please." He took a box out of his car. "This is for you, I hope you will find use for them." He was kinda cryptic with his smile and I thanked him and went down to my apartment. I went upstairs and ate dinner with my parents and remembered the box he gave me. His wife and kids would sometimes give me gifts of food, which I loved. Whatever they made I was more than happy to get a sample of, my mother wasn't the best cook. I always thanked them, and I know the family liked me. This time there was no food. I opened the box and it was filled with pantyhose. Not Leggs or the expensive kind, but the ones in the little rectangle bags with the color on the front. There had to be two dozen pairs. All different colors, even cyan. I was completely confused and embarrassed. Why would he think those stockings were for me, well they were, but come on.

I avoided him whenever I saw him. If they were leaving the house I would drive around the block and wait. I even started parking around the corner instead of the backyard, so he would think I wasn't home. I didn't know what to do, I didn't want anyone to know I crossdress, especially the neighbors.

Then one night there was a bag hanging on my doorknob to my apartment. I hurried inside and put the bag on the table. It had my name on it and it was taped closed. I had to get a knife to open it. Once it was done, looking inside there was a long flowered skirt. It was beautiful, it must have been silk. It had an elastic waist so I knew it would fit. It had to be the neighbor that gave it to me, no one else knew, I hoped. Unless he said something.

***

Knock, knock. I heard the door and my heart started to race. The back of my door had a poster of Joan Jett on it, I loved her eye makeup, and she was begging me not to answer it. It was after ten on a Tuesday night and I definitely wasn't expecting anyone. When I slowly opened the door, Ira was outside. "I'm sorry Don, can I ask a favor of you?"

"Um, okay." I stuttered.

"Can I come in?" He asked. I moved back and let him in. I had one fairly big room, next to a door that led to my mothers' washer and dryer. "Nice in here." He said as he walked in."

He sat at the table and I sat opposite, "Would you like something to drink?" I asked.

"Ooh, only if it's Kosher."

I thought about it, "I do have some Manischewitz Pina Coconetta." It was very sweet wine and a girl I was seeing liked it.

"Sure, I wasn't expecting anything like that." He said as he took his jacket off. I poured us two glasses of wine and asked what he needed from me.

"The other night, when I saw what came out of your bag.."

I interrupted him. "No that was my mothers, I'm sorry if you think.."

He then tapped my hand. "It's okay, I know. I see things. I don't judge."

"You know what?" I asked.

"Yes," he told me, "You are a very confident woman when you dress. I have seen you through the window." He pointed towards the room with the washing machine. "Living next door you tend to see a lot of the neighbors, even a pretty shiksa." He laughed, but I didn't. "Did you like the presents, I have a friend who has a shoe store, he has very many stockings, he was happy to give me some."

I didn't know what to say, I thought I was so careful, I hardly ever went out dressed as a girl, and when I did it was late and I always took off my wig and makeup before I got near the block. Who would have guessed someone would see me through the small basement window.

"I would like to ask of you a small favor." I took a big sip of wine and sat back, I was so nervous. "I told you how my wife would never wear stockings, well except for some temple functions." He then took a sip, he had a nervous look himself. "I was hoping maybe you would let me see you wear them, maybe touch a little. Nothing inappropriate. I love a woman in stockings."

I didn't move. "Um, I don't know."

He touched my arm again, "Not now, but whenever you are ready. Please just call me." He then gave me a business card. He finished his wine and he left.

***

Being a crossdresser I would love the attention of a man, I had interaction with a couple by this time. I just didn't think I should have anything to do with an older neighbor, a rabbi. Fuck that, a family man. I decided I wouldn't even acknowledge him. And then I got another present. It was a real present. My mother told me that a package had arrived for me, she put it on my bed downstairs. "Okay, thanks, " I said and headed to my room, late after work. Shit, this was getting a little weird. It was a regular brown papered cardboard box addressed to me, but when I opened it, there was a wrapped present. It had little balloons and unicorns on it, very girlie. I had to check the name again before I believed it was for me. When I opened the box it was a beautiful dress, no it was three beautiful dresses. The exact same thing, but I noticed they were different sizes.

I pulled them out and a card fell on the floor. 'Please accept this as an apology for me bothering you. You are very nice and I don't want to make you uncomfortable.' It read. It's crazy that he realized I was avoiding him. I found the correct size and it was a perfect fit. I put the other two inside the box and left them on the table. Ira was very pragmatic.

I had to admit getting gifts for my female persona was very seductive. The dress was beautiful. It was silk and lace and must have cost a fortune. Once everyone was asleep I got myself ready and tried it on again. I poured myself a glass of wine and started to turn myself into 'Donna.' Donna is what I called myself when I was younger. I ended up changing it to Sabrina when I met someone named Donna who I didn't like at all, ha ha. I didn't want to be named after someone so negative and angry all the time, so I named myself after Sabrina the Teenage Witch. I could switch genders with a little magic, being Sabrina, snap.

First I shaved and lotioned my legs. I slipped on a pair of my beige panties and then tan Leggs pantyhose. A little bit of makeup and my false lashes were next, then one of my three wigs. My favorite was a long curly blonde one that came down to my boobs. The wigs were another thing that was so hard to get. My hair was quite long and it was a perfect strawberry blonde, but I loved the look of a long wig. I put on my 34C Bra and filled it with water balloons. I used to love the way they moved with my body. The weight of them was perfect. I wish I had breast forms back then. My confidence would have been off the charts. I slipped the dress over my head. "Oh my god," I said to my full-length mirror. "I look amazing."

I put on my video camera as I examined the new dress. It was navy blue with birds and a flower print on it. It had a ballerina neckline and short sleeves. It was very feminine. The hem came just above my knees, and it was trimmed with sheer lace. I looked surprisingly sexy in it, and it wasn't the type of dress I would usually buy for myself. I slipped on a pair of black four-inch pumps and sat down to adjust my wig. Once I was satisfied, I put on some bracelets and long dangling clip-on plastic earrings. I pranced in front of the mirror and took some pictures with my camera and video with a huge video recorder I got for my graduation a couple of years ago. I was loving this, and I was thinking it was such a nice present, I looked like one of the neighborhood wives. I took another sip of wine while watching the beautiful girl in the mirror. I then decided I was going to call Ira. Why not. He would just be Ira to me, not Rabbi K. or the neighbor with all the kids. Just Ira. I was going to call him to thank him for the dress.

The phone rang and I thought I could hear it across the alleyway. "Hello?" He said.

"Hi, this is Donna, your neighbor."

"Donna? Donna Goldmann, from the temple?" I told him I was the girl across the alley. I was using my girlie voice, which I hadn't perfected yet. "Oh, your name is Donna. I always wondered. It's a very nice name, like Donna Summer." He made me smile, he liked it.

Then I can't believe what I said next. "Do you think you could come over tonight? I'm wearing the dress you sent me, one of them fit perfectly, but I want you to just watch and nothing else."

"Really? Hold on one second please." I then heard him talk to someone. When he got back on the phone he said very loudly. "I will be there soon and I will bring the books. Goodbye."

I got up and put a little more mascara on and even dabbed on a little perfume. I couldn't believe I was going to show a man my new dress. I stood in front of the mirror and made sure I looked nice in all directions. The knock on the door was very light and I hurriedly opened it. He walked in with a box and a huge smile on his face. "I was not expecting your call. I am surprised, but I'm very happy about it." He laid the box down and pulled out two bottles of wine. "The rest is books, I will take them back, I needed a reason to get out of the house." I looked at the clock it was almost eleven.

"Let me see you." He said and he motioned me to stand. "You like the dress, yes? I got it from my feter, my uncle." I smiled and shook my head. "I traded, I will give the others back unless you have friends." I just shook my head again. He then really looked at me, now that the wine was poured and I was about six feet away from him. "You are very pretty, I did not expect any of this."

I spun around and then I lifted my dress to show off more of my legs. I was feeling very flirty. He sat down and couldn't stop looking at them. "I love woman's legs, it is my only weakness. God has given me only one."

I turned around and showed him the back. "You like?" I cooed. I was starting to enjoy myself, I felt like a model.

"I do." He told me. I started to tease him by rubbing my legs, pulling up the pantyhose, trying to make my legs look even more perfect. "You make a very good woman, better than most of the non-Jewish girls in the neighborhood." He watched me as I moved and then I sat down and crossed my legs, tucking the dress under me. "Donna? Would you mind if I relieve myself? I'm sorry. I would understand if you said no."

"Um," I have seen a man's penis before, so it wasn't a big deal. "Okay if you like. Do you want me to do something?" I crossed my legs again, as he shook his head no and his hands went to his zipper. He took his cock out and started to rub it. It wasn't that big, but it was a cock and I was loving the show as much as he was. He was mumbling about how beautiful my legs and feet were as he played with himself. I could imagine what my mother would say if she saw what was going on in her basement, below her. I stood up and stretched, then sat down again crossing my legs with a woosh. He looked at me, he was starting to get out of breath. "I have never done this before, you are my first, my first shiksa." I didn't understand. Did he jerk off in front of a Jewish girl and now I was his first non-Jew? But I didn't care I was having fun in my new dress.

I could tell he was close, and he only had been playing with himself for about fifteen minutes. I stood up and lifted the hem again. This time I lifted it high until my panties were in view. "Cute or what?" I said. I was very proud since I was tucked and showed nothing but a smooth little 'pussy.' Once I turned around to show him my ass, I heard him cum. I was disappointed I wasn't facing him, but I did catch the end of it. He had most of his cum in his hand. Afterward, he made a big sigh, then he got up and found paper towels and 'Glass Plus' and cleaned up the rest of the sperm that trickled on the floor. I thought it was cute the way he fidgeted around after his orgasm. He washed his hands at the sink.

"Don't worry about it, I'll take care of everything. I'll clean up" I told him.

He smiled. "Thank you." He said and then I reminded him about the wine. We didn't even drink any.

"No next time, I better go." And he left taking his books and the extra dresses with him. He was here about twenty minutes.

I was so worked up having a man cum just by looking at me that I started to play with myself all tucked up. It didn't take long until my panties started filling up and I loved feeling it move around near my hole. I kept pushing my cum closer to my opening and slowly pushed it in with my fingers. I loved doing that.

He left me a note under the door a couple of days later. It read; 'Donna, Tuesday at 10 PM? If so just ring.' Short and to the point. And I figured why not, it was so easy and it turned me on.

***

Tuesday night I went into my room to get ready. I took a nice long bath and shaved the little hair on my arms off. It was something I was always tempted to do but could never go through with it. Once I got started I couldn't stop, and my arms and underarms were so smooth. I lotioned my body and then slipped on a pair of the stockings that Ira sent me. They were beige and quite tight. I slipped them up my body. They weren't as shiny, but they were very sheer and pretty sexy. It looked like I had nothing on, I just had perfect legs. I decided to put a little more makeup on than last time. I had on false lashes and false nails. My lips were a dark purple and I had a little purple on my lids. I put on my dark red wig and then my dress. I wanted to go a little sexier so I slipped on one of my little black dresses. I had three of these. I put on black 5-inch chunky heels and some more bangles. Lastly, I put on my plastic clip-on round black earrings and then sat to brush out my hair. I loved playing with my hair in full makeup. A spray of perfume and I was ready. I set up the video camera again and turned it on. I posed in front of my mirror and I couldn't wait until Ira showed up. I couldn't wait to see what he had to say about my outfit.

10:00 on the dot there was a light knock on the door. I opened it and he slipped in. "Makes me very nervous, this little trip across the alley." He said.

"Well come in and sit down." I pointed to the table. "I'll pour us some wine."

He then got a better look at me and handed me another package. "You look like the women from the television, 'Knots Landing,' they all wear stockings. I always watch it."

I laughed. "I wish I was that glamourous."

We sat and relaxed and had some wine as I opened the box. "You know you don't have to give me something every time you come over," I told him.

He shook his head and touched my arm. "No, you do something for me. I want to give you something. It's like a trade."

"I guess it is, but still, no more presents." I smiled but he was being very serious. Inside the box was another dress, similar to the blue one. This one was like cream or off-white and it was very formal looking. "It's beautiful," I said.

He finally smiled. "It's for when you go to temple. I would love to see you there sitting up front."

Well," I giggled, "don't hold your breath."

"My uncle Abe works on West 39th street in the city. He deals in trim, he knows all the designers. They respect him."

I was impressed. I said, "Okay, well if it doesn't cost a lot of money..."

"Cost me nothing. They want to be friends with him, and now I know your size... It all works out, for everyone." He laughed as he gestured with his hands.