A Safe Haven

When we were clearing the table, she set her dishes in the sink, turned to me, took the dishes out of my hands, set them on the counter, and wrapped me up in a warm embrace.

"Angus, I can't replace Maggie, and wouldn't try to; but if you let me, I think I could be that safe haven you're searching for."

I met her waiting mouth. I felt her tongue slip between my lips and we kissed deeply, sexually, for the first time. I was immediately aware of her whole body - the swell of her breasts against my chest; her pelvis pressing into me; her slim, strong arms wrapped around me. I became aroused for the first time in years. It almost felt alien, and memories came rushing back - of similar kisses, similar moments with a similarly amazing woman. But instead of choking up, it just inflamed my passion. I crushed Emma in my arms. She just hugged me more intensely in response. I couldn't get enough of her sweet mouth. As I became more aroused, I got embarrassed and ended the kiss.

Breathlessly, I said, "That was, um, quite a kiss."

"The best. You didn't hold back," she pointed out. And I hadn't.

Over the next several days, we talked, listened to music, and watched old movies in the master bedroom where I had our lone tv and dvd player set up. I didn't get tv reception up here and I never bothered with a dish - neither Maggie nor I were much for tv. I had a lot of movies, mostly favorites of Maggie's. Towards the end, when she could do little else, we would watch movies back-to-back till she fell asleep.

When she passed, it was three days before Christmas, and we were cuddled up in bed watching "It's a Wonderful Life" - one of her favorites. I remember the exact moment that she passed - when Jimmy Stewart has returned home, and the bell rings and he recalls what the angel told him about every time you hear a bell ring, an angel gets it's wings. At that moment, my wife made a small noise and whispered something. I leaned in close and she kissed me on the cheek.

"I have to go now, my love..."

She breathed her last couple of breaths and slipped away. I held her till the heat started to leave her body.

I've never watched that movie again.

Now, Emma and I would sit on the bed watching movies. It was at the same time, nostalgic, comfortable, and comforting. Sometimes, Emma would doze off, and I would watch her sleep; take in her beauty; watch the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she slumbered. I knew I was falling for this woman, and I knew she had feelings for me. What I wasn't sure about was whether I could move forward with a relationship, or whether she was at a point to seriously consider one, either.

On the fifth day of her staying with me, I woke up kind of late. We had watched movies till after one a.m., finished off a bottle of Bordeaux and fallen asleep together. I eased out of bed and headed to the bathroom for a shower. When I was done, I realized I hadn't brought fresh clothes with me, so I wrapped in a towel and tiptoed into the bedroom to get some. When I slid out a drawer, it made enough noise to wake her.

"Good morning, Angus. My, you are a handsome man," she remarked.

I know I blushed, "Morning, Em, and, um thanks. Sorry if I woke you."

"And shy. I like that," she responded, as she crawled out of bed, still in the pajamas she had been wearing of late when we would settle in for movies.

And don't think that didn't have an effect on me. The silky pajamas did nothing to hide the fullness, and the shape of her breasts; and her obviously plump nipples were evident, poking the soft fabric. And it gave me a glimpse of her svelte, shapely body. Damn it, I was getting aroused again, so I tried to keep my body turned away as I gathered clothing.

Emma came up behind me and wrapped her arms around my bare chest. "What's under the towel, I wonder?" she quipped, coyly.

"Nothing I'm ready to share, young lady. Now why don't you get your shower, and quit teasing this old guy. I'll make breakfast while you get ready, if you'll let me get dressed."

She let me go, spun me around and gave me a quick kiss, "You are shy, aren't you," she grinned, then remarked, "And you're not old. If you are, then I am too. I don't think you're hardly older than me."

"Well, how old do you think I am?"

"Mmm, honestly, late thirties."

"Close, forty-two. How old are you, if I'm permitted to ask?"

"You're permitted. I'm thirty-seven."

"No way!" I remarked, surprised. I really did think she was younger. She looked younger than 30, but I figured she had to be at least 32.

"You thought I was older?"

"Way older."

"Smart aleck! No, really?"

"Seriously, when we met, I thought you were 30 or younger, but after learning your history, I figured thirty-two to thirty-four, based on graduating college and ten years with your husband, ex-husband, the idiot, whatever."

She laughed, "Thank you, again. I'll get a shower. Whip us up something good. I'm starving."

"Yes ma'am."

I dressed, headed to the kitchen, and got busy, trying to take my mind off of what she would look like without the pajamas. And yes, I am a bit shy. I was never a real 'ladies' man, and though I'd been intimate with several girlfriends before I met Maggie, I didn't make it a habit to bed women out of hand. I had to get to know someone and get comfortable with them before going that far. Of course, I suspected that was where we were headed. I just wasn't sure if I was ready yet.

While I was finishing breakfast, Emma came into the kitchen, dressed in a pale, powder-blue blouse and blue jeans, combing out her long hair and humming.

"What's for breakfast, honey...Angus. Sorry; but I guess not, not really."

I smiled, "Well, honey, I'm making French toast with hot maple syrup - the real stuff, or powdered sugar if you prefer, and of course, lots of butter...unless you're one of those health nuts; and I'm making hot-sausage patties.

She grinned, "Sounds marvelous; and I'll have the maple syrup with lots of butter."

"Gal after my own heart."

We ate, and then ate more. I had to make a second batch of French toast. I can pack it away, and Emma was no amateur in the chow-down department. I liked that about her. Although, with her slim figure, I wondered where she put it all.

The storm had passed, and it hadn't snowed for two days, but the total accumulation was almost three feet. We were snowbound. Road crews would be out, but wouldn't get to us for a day or two.

After breakfast, Emma made a pot of tea while I loaded the fireplace and got a good blaze going. We settled in front of the fire and sipped our tea.

"This is excellent tea," she commented.

"It's a blend of Assam and Ceylon that we came up with after experimenting. It has a good balance of flavor and strength, I think."

"Yes, and not too tannic...Angus, I'm curious; this is all very comfortable, and this house is amazing; but without working, how can you afford this - or is that an inappropriate question?"

"Not at all. When I took over my father-in-law's business, I did a lot of work with a developer that turned me on to some properties, bare land, that had potential for development and very good potential for profit. He was maxed out on his budget at the time, and threw me a bone. He was good friends with Maggie's father, and he liked me, so he did me a solid. The land tripled in value, and when I sold it, I made a healthy profit; plus I was invested in a couple commercial development projects that did well. We sold our custom home, which I designed and had built; and that went for more than double what I had in it. The short of it is I developed a pretty good nest egg. Of course, it's not going to last forever. I know I need to get started again; but like you, I don't know where. I can't go back to Boise - too many memories."

"You sold your business, right? I would think that brought some money in, too."

"I gave all the profits for that to Jake, Maggie's dad; it was the right thing to do."

She squeezed my arm, "You are a good man, Angus...Have you given any thought to where you might go, what you might do?"

"Well, I've decided on what I'll do. I'm going to start my own development company. I now know how to go about it, and I like the idea of having control over all the processes from beginning to end...I just don't know where. That will take some research. Wherever I go, it has to be close to the mountains."

"What about Missoula?"

"I don't think it has fast enough growth potential, and I'll need a larger metropolitan area for what I'm envisioning."

"So you have given it some thought."

"Thinking is about all I do these days. I have plenty of time on my hands. 'Doing' is what I'm 'doing' too little of."

"Well, if you don't mind my saying so, I think it's time you start 'doing'. You're wasting your talent and abilities here, and wasting away. I also think it's time you kiss me again."

She took my tea and set our cups down, then reached and pulled me to her. I didn't hesitate. I don't know if it was the warmth from the fire or her own body heat, but she felt on fire to me, and my passion, my desire for her was inflamed. We kissed and hugged, and played our hands up and down each other, relishing the passion, the intensity of the moment. It reminded me of old-fashioned necking sessions from high school, where you would steam up the car windows at your local make-out spot.

When we separated from the passionate embrace, Emma looked in my eyes, "Angus, honey, I don't expect you to say the same, but I have to tell you something...I'm falling for you...falling in love with you."

I didn't hesitate, "Em, I've been trying to deny it, but I know, I've already fallen. You have awakened a part of me that died with Maggie. This is the first time I've felt alive in a long time...but I have to be honest; I don't know what I can promise. I would like to think I'm ready to...move forward, and I can't imagine doing that with anyone else but you. However, I don't want to make a mistake, hurt you, or hurt me by rushing into something. I know that may sound lame, but I've only been in love once before in my life. And in spite of my feelings for you...I'm afraid, uncertain..."

"We'll go slow, baby. I'm in no hurry. I can wait...till you're certain. And I fully understand. I don't think I've ever really been in love...but I think this is what it feels like."

We held each other and watched the fire turn to embers, and slowly turn cold; but the cold didn't reach us. Sleep did, though, and we went to bed. As we headed upstairs, Emma stayed glued to me, and as I paused at her bedroom, she just gave me a look and a soft smile but didn't release me. So, we went to the master bedroom. I changed into sleeping shorts and a t-shirt while Emma used the bathroom. She came out, removed her robe and crawled in on Maggie's side of the bed and I joined her under the covers. She snuggled against me, lifting her head and pulling my arm around her shoulders, then turned on her side and wrapped an arm around my chest.

"Goodnight, sweetheart," she breathed in my ear.

"Goodnight..." I almost said "my love," which is how Maggie and I frequently addressed each other, but it caught in my throat, and I finished, "sweet Em."

She gave me a squeeze, then gradually, her breathing softened and I could tell she had fallen asleep. I lay there, unable to settle down, my mind racing, my emotions a jumble. At some point fatigue, and the warmth of her body next to me, overcame me and I drifted off.

V. REVELATION

I awoke to the sound of my shower running. At first, I was disoriented. I didn't understand why Maggie was up so early, then abruptly I realized where and when I was and that Emma was not in bed - Emma, not Maggie. I was befuddled. That condition did not improve when Emma came out.

When the bathroom door opened, Emma was wrapped in a towel with one wrapped around her head.

She smiled sweetly, "Good morning sleepyhead."

"Good morning. I guess I slept in a little."

"A little," she grinned, "It's almost ten."

"What?"

"You were sleeping pretty soundly, so when I woke up, I laid there for quite a while, trying not to wake you; but my bladder won out and I had to go. When I slipped out of bed, you didn't stir," she explained. "Anyway, I hope you don't mind that I used your shower."

"I don't think I could mind anything that you do," I replied seriously.

"Oh good," she replied, "then you won't mind when I do this."

She unwrapped the towel from her head and let her hair fall, then dropped the towel and combed her hair out with her fingers.

"Why would I mind that?" I questioned, perplexed.

"Oh, not that, silly. This..."

She unwrapped her towel from around her chest and dropped it on the floor. I almost had a stroke.

"I thought you should see what I look like before we went any further, you know, in case you didn't like my body," she remarked in a pseudo-serious tone; then slowly turned and walked out my door.

I instantly went fully erect. If I didn't like her body? Emma had a devilish streak.

Her beauty left me breathless. As I mentioned, she is tall, at least 5'-10," and slender - statuesque is the only word I can think of to describe her body. Her full, C-cup breasts, filled out her gently tapered torso quite nicely, and lay on her chest with only moderate declination. They were capped by medium-sized but plump aureoles, moderately darker than her skin tone, with lovely, pronounced nipples. Her chest tapered down to a very narrow waist with a flat stomach featuring a long, vertical navel above a thick mound of dark-blond pubic hair, roughly in the shape of a V. It didn't appear to be groomed or shaped. Her hips flared out just the right amount to accentuate her womanly figure. Her legs were long, sleek and subtly contoured. When she turned and walked out, her medium-sized buttocks were awe inspiring - firm and beautifully sculpted. I just couldn't believe anyone would cheat on this woman with some big-tittied bimbo. It made me want to choke the life out of her no-account husband.

I hate to admit it, even here, but I immediately got in the shower and masturbated. My erection wasn't going away if I didn't. After showering and dressing, I heard Emma singing and making noise downstairs. She was making breakfast. I went down to join her, and thankfully, she had put some clothes on; though the image of her nude body was burned into my retinas.

As I came into the kitchen, she turned, "Hey, honey, you okay? You look like you swallowed a bad clam."

"I almost swallowed my tongue, you treacherous woman."

"Oh, was it that bad," she feigned a pout, "I was hoping my body wasn't to much of a shock for you."

"Shock? You almost stopped my heart."

"Oh, stop being such a drama queen and kiss me good morning."

I pulled her to me and kissed her, and damned if my penis didn't betray me, immediately starting to go rigid. Emma pressed her body firmly to me, mashing up against my erection.

"Well, I think someone approved of my body. Goodness, what are you hiding down there?"

"Emma, don't make me beat you on an empty stomach. Let's fix breakfast and let 'someone' calm down."

"Spoilsport," she opined, and reached down and gave my penis a squeeze through my pants leg.

It was a good thing I'd 'relieved' myself earlier, or I might have made a mess in my jeans.

To get us off the subject of my penis, I quickly turned to help with breakfast, "What are we having this morning.

She made a pouty face and quipped, "Well I was hoping for sausage...but since someone doesn't want to play, we're settling for bacon; ham, tomato and cheese omelets; and diced potatoes with sauteed onions and peppers."

"I'll settle for that...and Emma. Thank you for...sharing, well, what you shared. And don't think for one second that you are not the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."

"Really? Even more..."

"Honey, yes, even more. Maggie was beautiful, the most beautiful woman I'd been with till I saw you in the bedroom...but she had a more athletic build with slimmer hips and smaller breasts. You are more...womanly, as close to perfect as I can imagine. And I have to change my appraisal of your husband - he was beyond being an idiot; he was brain-dead; that is, if he had a brain."

"Stop it, Angus. You're making me blush. But thank you. You don't know how much that means to me...coming from you. I saw how beautiful Maggie was, and I know it wasn't easy for you to say what you just did, so, thank you, sweetheart."

She wrapped me in her arms, laying her head on my shoulder. Her hair smelled of my shampoo and her body felt divine. My penis responded again.

She leaned back and looked up at me, "You know, we're eventually going to have to do something about 'that' problem. And don't think you're the only one with a problem. Mine may not show, but all the same..."

"Let's get breakfast going. My heart can't take much more of this. Besides, you promised we would go slow."

"I'm sorry, Angus. I am. Though, I don't know how slow I can go. But I will try. Help me slice and dice, then I'll cook while you set the table and make tea."

After breakfast, I told Emma to bundle up; we were going to look at something. We took hot teas and went upstairs to the covered deck off the master bedroom to look at the stream twisting its way through the snow-covered landscape.

"Oh, that is so beautiful," Emma gasped.

"Yes, I'm sorry I haven't brought you out here before. I guess with it snowing so much and the cold, I just didn't think of it. In warmer weather, I've sat here for long stretches, watching the water cascade down and around the twists and turns as it makes its way across the property. I love the sounds of the water splashing and gurgling; and in the summer, I often leave the door open at night and fall asleep to it."

"It seems a shame to leave this beautiful house and this lovely setting behind," she remarked.

"I may keep it. It's paid for, and we could...um, I could use it as a retreat."

Looking me in the eyes, she said softly, "Or it could be 'we'."

"Yes, it could. I just didn't want to presume..."

"Angus, at this point, I can't see how we don't end up together, at least, eventually. I have great confidence in that. In fact, I'm counting on it, depending on it. I really can't imagine my life now, without you in it."

I hugged her close to me, "I can't either, my love...I can't either."

And yes, I used that term of endearment - the one I had only used with Maggie, but I was okay with that. I knew in my heart, Maggie would be, too.

VI. CULMINATION

We stood on the deck and watched the stream until the cold got to us, then went inside to warm up. I stoked the fire and threw a couple logs on. We sat, cuddled and warmed up, not speaking, quietly soaking up the heat and the moment.

Sometime after one p.m., we reluctantly surrendered to our hunger and ended our respite in front of the fireplace. While we were making lunch, the lights flickered and went out momentarily; then there was a loud clunk as the power switched over to the generator and it kicked on, followed by lights coming back on, and the reassuring thrum from the propane-fueled motor as it came to life. It's just audible, but not intrusive. It's in its own ventilated shed built against the house with a double-insulated wall to dampen sound transfer.

"That was the power going off?" Emma asked.

"Yep. We just lost power."

"How long will the generator run?"

"I'm not sure, but more than a few days, at the least. The longest spell we had was just short of four days, and the propane tank was still over 40 percent full."

"So we're good, right?"

"Yes, but we lose the upstairs. Everything will be heated, as that's gas, but no electricity. All the essentials - the well, freezer, and all of downstairs are on the generator; and we have everything we need here, including a bathroom with a shower stall, and there's a guestroom at the back. Of course, we can still use the upstairs; just have to use candles and flashlights. You still have water and hot water for showers, just no electrical items."