A Second Chance At First Love Ch. 01-05

"That's low, Ms. Grace," Sadie replied, waggling her right index finger back at Bree Ann. "I'll have you know that Beth was a couple of years past the legal drinking age."

Giggling, Bree Ann said, "In Germany, maybe."

The two women went back and forth the remainder of their time at the diner, the conversation flowing effortlessly between them. The duo teased and mocked one another relentlessly, Bree Ann loving every minute of it.

After their meal, they took Sadie's car and drove to the shopping center, Bree Ann enjoying the southern California sunshine. The duo then began their day shopping, going into a popular outlet clothing store.

"By the way," Sadie said, "I mean to tell you that you look scrumptious in that top."

"Thank you," Bree Ann replied, that strange fluttering feeling in her stomach taking flight once again. "I was a little nervous about wearing it out in public. It's so revealing."

"It's sexy is what it is," Sadie announced, in a low voice, her eyes fixating on the sheer lacy section that covered the part in Bree Ann's breasts.

"Stop, you lecherous thing!" Bree Ann ordered, slapping her friend's arm. "You're impossible."

The pair began looking through the clothing racks, flipping through the selection of tops like a dealer shuffling cards. And while Sadie was looking for herself, Bree Ann knew the pretty blonde was also keeping an eye out for things she thought might look good on her. It was Sadie, after all, who'd been the one to pick out the top she was currently wearing.

"Oh, this is one you definitely have to try on," Sadie declared, holding up a white lace illusion knit top. Its sleeves were long, though its material was light, the neckline circled in three inches of white lace.

"You think so?" Bree Ann asked, studying the garment carefully.

"Definitely, you're tits would look amazing in it!" Sadie opined. "Now, let's see what else we can find before you head into the dressing room."

"You are not nearly as funny as you think you are," Bree Ann said with a laugh.

"Who was joking," Sadie replied as she sipped at her coffee, her face showing just how certain she was of what she'd said.

Sadie's words caused another rush of fluttering to explode to life inside her stomach and joining it, was a far more disturbing heat that had begun to flame up between her thigh. Bree Ann tried to tell herself that what she was feeling couldn't be. It simply couldn't. Bree Ann wasn't gay or bisexual or whatever they were calling it these days, She was as certain of that as she was her own name. Unless you've always been bi and it just took meeting Sadie to bring it out in you," was the sudden thought that flew through Bree Ann's mind, this one suddenly making the former pastor's wife's mind become even more alarmed.

"Should we get to shopping?" Bree Ann asked, immediately feeling thankful when Sadie nodded her head without commenting further. But the sexy blonde did have a sad expression briefly blossom on her face that left the auburn-haired beauty wondering what could have caused it. "Could Sadie really be interested in me? I'm nowhere near as young as the usual women she dates."

Setting her concerns aside for the moment, Bree Ann began to look through clothes again. They systematically worked the shop floor until they each had several outfits over their arms. They found a sales rep who unlocked the dressing rooms, the pair heading down the narrow hall inside.

"All right, you first," Sadie ordered. "I want to see you in that white top and those black jeans."

"Okay."

Bree Ann went inside and changed, thankful that the bra she'd worn shopping was white; otherwise, it would have shown through the top's thin material. She quickly changed, taking a moment to squeeze herself into the designer jeans. Bree Ann stood back, centered herself in front of the mirror, and looked at herself with a critical eye. The widow liked what she saw. The top's lace made her shoulders look broader, which helped make her already narrow waist appear even tinier. And while her breasts always looked big regardless of the top she wore, the thin material of the top seemed to enhance her best feature significantly.

"Don't hold out on me. Let me see," came the sound of Sadie's impatient voice from outside the door.

Opening the dressing room door, Bree Ann stood in the doorway and playfully struck a pose for her shopping compatriot. "Well, what do you think?"

"Wow," Sadie replied, her eyes going wide as she ogled her friend appraisingly. "Just wow. If you weren't a straight woman..."

"And I was at least fifteen years younger," Bree Ann added while rolling her eyes.

"Why do you always do that?" Sadie suddenly asked, sounding a little frustrated and hurt. It was the first time in their long relationship that Bree Ann could remember her doing so.

Bree Ann looked at her friend, hearing the touch of hurt in Sadie's voice. She hadn't meant to offend the pretty blonde, meaning her barb as a joke. Bree Ann just couldn't see the sophisticated and pretty lesbian being genuinely attracted to some middle-aged country girl like her.

"Well...it's just...I'm sorry, Sadie. I didn't mean to upset you," Bree Ann sputtered apologetically. "It's just that all of the women I've ever seen you with are younger. I promise I won't bring it up again, though."

Sadie studied her friend carefully before stepping in and caressing Bree Ann's cheek. "It's okay, Bree," the pretty, blonde therapist declared. "I'd like to find a woman close to my age to settle down with. But they're all either straight, in a relationship, or only interested in dating younger women."

"Really?" Bree Ann asked, surprised by her friend's admission.

"Really," Sadie replied sincerely, sounding almost sultry as she stared into Bree Ann's eyes. "And for the record, if you were even a little less than straight, I'd take you off the market in a second flat."

Bree Ann felt her face and chest flush, her heart suddenly racing as Sadie's right thumb caressed her cheek, the look in the pretty blonde's eyes suddenly making Bree Ann swoon. Sadie had teasingly said similar things in the past, but she sounded so sincere this time, the look in the blonde's eyes suddenly appearing dark and hungry. Was Sadie actually flirting with her? And if so, how did Bree Ann feel about that?

Bree Ann was hardly a prude and had no issues with homosexuality. Lord knows she'd been exposed to enough ribald lesbian behavior living with her girls. That type of thing just seemed natural to Bree Ann. Love was love, regardless of how it was packaged. But the mature widow was unsure of how she felt about having those feelings directed toward her.

"You're sweet," Bree Ann replied softly, backing away from Sadie and instantly missing her tender touch. "I'd better try on the next outfit."

And with that, Bree Ann closed the door to the changing room behind her and leaned back against it, her breath coming in hitches as the facade of her control disappeared. Looking in the mirror, the auburn-haired beauty could see her nipples protruding prominently through the white top she wore and could feel a sticky wetness emanating from her sex...

CHAPTER THREE

Skyler, Lisa, and Kaia entered the house that afternoon with a lot of noise and fanfare. Kaia and Skyler were carrying the twin's car seats, both baby boys awake and jabbering back nonsensically, while Macey sang a little song to them to keep the pair occupied.

They found Bree Ann sitting at the kitchen island, a glass of red wine resting in front of her. And though she greeted them with a smile, her three daughters instantly seemed to know that something was up.

The three women looked at each other, an unspoken conversation passing between them. Without another word, Lisa and Skyler took the twins and Macey into the playroom, closing the door behind them.

"What's wrong, Mom?" Kaia asked, the concern in her voice genuine.

"Why do you ask?" Bree Ann replied.

"You just seem a bit off," Kaia answered. "You're usually a ball of energy when you return from spending the day with Sadie."

"I guess I'm just tired," Bree Ann answered, immediately asking God to forgive her the little lie.

"Did something happen today?" Kaia asked.

Bree Ann didn't reply, her day with Sadie replaying in her mind repeatedly. She heard the beautiful blonde's sweet words again and could almost still feel the soft touch of the woman's finger against her cheek and how both had made her feel. And therein lay the problem. That wasn't Bree Ann Grace. She didn't react to a woman in that manner. So today had to have been an outlier, an abnormal occurrence that didn't speak to who Bree Ann really was.

Didn't it?

"Talk to me, Mom," Kaia begged, her tone low and steady.

"It was nothing, really," Bree Ann finally replied with a wave of her hand.

"You know that you can talk to me about anything, right?" Kaia stated, gently placing her hand on Bree Ann's.

Bree Ann hesitated. She actually wanted to talk about it. What's more, the mature auburn-haired beauty needed to get it out to someone, so perhaps they could help Bree Ann make sense of what she was feeling. And if she was going to speak to anyone about it, then maybe levelheaded Kaia would be the perfect person to unload her feelings on. After all, Kaia had finally gotten through to her about her deep depression over failing to properly grieve Jon's death. And the cocoa-skinned beauty had also been instrumental in helping Skyler get over her father's passing. What's more, Bree Ann knew that Kaia wouldn't judge her, plus she'd always kept the older woman's confidences between them.

Her voice trembling, Bree Ann said, "At one point today with Sadie, I got...I...got excited...sexually, I mean."

Kaia said nothing; she merely held Bree Ann's hand, giving it a little squeeze of reassurance. The older woman took a sip of her wine, afraid to meet Kaia's gaze, suddenly worried she'd see condemnation written on the cocoa-skinned beauty's typically placid countenance.

"And how did that make you feel?" Kaia finally asked.

"Confused, scared, ashamed," Bree Ann replied, a single tear rolling down her cheek.

"What do you think brought the shame on?" Kaia asked as she began to stroke the back of Bree Ann's hand gently with her thumb.

'What had caused it?' Bree Ann wondered to herself. 'It wasn't that it was happening over a woman. I'm so beyond that after all these years. So why would I feel such deep and abiding shame?'

And then the answer hit Bree Ann all at once. Occam's Razor. Once you eliminate all the rest, the simplest solution is usually the right one.

"It's because I feel as though it was a betrayal of Jon," Bree Ann replied, her tears beginning to flow freely now.

Kaia brought her into a hug, Bree Ann burying her face against the younger woman's soft skin as she cried. Kaia just held her, allowing the mature, auburn-haired beauty a chance to own her feelings without interference. It was only when Bree Ann had once again gained a measure of control that Kaia spoke.

"Do you feel as though Jon would disapprove?"

Bree Ann paused to think on that as she dabbed at her eyes. Finally, shaking her head, she said, "Of it being a woman? No, I bet he's up in heaven having a good laugh over that."

"Then how do you think you're betraying him?"

With a deep sigh, Bree Ann said. I guess it's in having feelings for anyone. My love for Jon was so complete and all-consuming. We were a team, the two of us always working together, never apart. I'd been going through the motions on all these dates just to make you girls happy, but I'd never actually expected to find someone I had feelings for."

"And Sadie's that someone?" Kaia asked softly, ensuring she grasped what Bree Ann was saying. "With Sadie, you feel that spark of excitement you're always talking about?"

Nodding her head, Bree Ann said, "I think it's always been there, but I was just too blind to see it. Sadie makes me feel the way that Jon used to do. I'm always so happy with her, and she's always on my mind. I can be doing the most innocuous of things and have her suddenly pop into my head. And when that happens, I always miss her at that moment. I find myself wanting to pick up the phone and call her or hop in the car to go and see her, and I'm disappointed when I can't."

"Bree Ann, I really think Jon would want you to be happy. He'd want you to have someone like that in your life. If he's looking down on us right now, then I bet he's yelling at you to go for it," Kaia said, with a gentle smile as she held the woman she thought of as another mother.

'Could it really be that simple?' Bree Ann wondered as she allowed Kaia to hold her. Could she simply make such a drastic change at this stage of her life? And if so, what would the people back home think? Or her family? Bree Ann's two sisters had accepted Skyler being gay without a problem, but would it be any different if they discovered she was dating a woman? Would they think her a lonely, middle-aged, pathetic woman who'd dishonored her husband's memory by giving herself to another, and a woman at that?

"What it boils down to is this, Bree Ann. You need to ask yourself whether you can be happy hiding from your heart. You'll know what to do when you can honestly answer that question," Kaia said, kissing Bree Ann's forehead.

She then left Bree Ann to her own thoughts, the sound of the toy room opening before Kaia disappeared inside, leaving Bree Ann alone.

<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>

Bree Ann kept herself busy early in the week by giving Skyler a break with the kids. Her daughter used that time to go and visit a day spa while Bree Ann cared for the boys, little Jonathan proving more demanding than his younger brother. Still, even as busy as she was, thoughts of Sadie and her confusing feelings for the beautiful blonde frequently entered Bree Ann's mind. She wanted to give Sadie a call to hear her voice and see what sort of reaction it made her feel. Bree Ann even picked the phone up on multiple occasions before setting it back down in uncertainty.

The mature, auburn-haired beauty thought a lot about the question Kaia had left her with, but still didn't have an answer. Bree Ann knew that she could be content with her current life, as long as she at least maintained her friendship with Sadie. The girls and her grandkids certainly provided her with fulfillment. So why was it that her erotic epiphany from this past Saturday suddenly left Bree Ann feeling like there would still be a hole in her life without something more?

Was she genuinely missing intimate contact that bad? Bree Ann had gone a long time after Jon's death without any type of sexual release. She hadn't needed it; her mind focused on her family and seeing that their emotional needs were met. But over a period of time, those physical needs had returned, and the auburn-haired beauty had resorted to satiating them herself.

Adding to that was the uninvited gift of a vibrator that her girls had given her one birthday. Bree Ann had been horrified upon opening the present and realizing what it was, but the three of them had assured her that they had several such toys that they frequently used on one another.

The erotic implement eventually became a regular staple of Bree Ann's late evening time alone. She would remove it several times a week from her bedside end table, her insides coming alive when it began to buzz. Bree Ann had eventually become quite skilled at manipulating her new toy in just the proper manner to get herself off in very satisfying ways.

But could masturbation ever be a genuinely satisfying replacement for human touch? Bree Ann was beginning to wonder. She'd started to hunger for that feeling of another's fingers and lips on her body and that satisfaction of feeling worshipped as your lover gave you their undivided attention. It had been so long for Bree Ann that she'd nearly forgotten what it was like. Was that, perhaps, why the skin on her cheek had tingled for hours after Sadie's soft caresses? Was that what had caused her nipples to become turgid little nubs, her panties becoming saturated with her wetness?

So, yes, Bree Ann could be content without following her heart. But she wasn't sure yet that she could be genuinely happy.

And if not, was Sadie really that missing ingredient that would make her life complete?

By the time Wednesday had rolled around, Bree Ann had begun to feel on edge, the unanswered questions plaguing her mind were beginning to wear on her. She could tell that her girls knew something was up, but none of the three broached the subject to their credit. They simply gave her a few more hugs than was typical, little Macey included, with Bree Ann appreciating each one.

Still, by Wednesday evening, Bree Ann's angst had reached a fevered pitch. She went to the fridge, searching for wine, and discovered the girls had drunk the last of it. Grabbing her keys, Bree Ann searched for her purse with the intention of going to the package store for a few more bottles, when the tone of her cell ringing caught the mature, auburn-haired beauty's ears. Her heart leaped with her mind racing when she saw that it was Sadie's name and picture on the screen of her phone. Bree Ann touched the device to accept the call, taking a deep breath.

"Hey, you."

"Oh, thank goodness," Sadie replied playfully. "You have no idea how nice it is to hear the voice of a sane person."

"Is that so?" Bree Ann said with a smile, a familiar fluttering in her stomach at hearing her friend's voice answering her question from earlier in the week. "Are you sure the person you're talking to is actually sane? She has spent the entire week having in-depth conversations with two one-year-olds."

"Ah!" Sadie replied. "Perhaps I need to schedule you for an appointment."

"What time can you fit me in?" Bree Ann replied, playing along in their repartee.

"How about Friday night, at six?" Sadie replied. "I thought maybe we could see the new impressionist exhibit at the art museum and then have a late dinner. I could even come by your place and pick you up. At least if you don't already have a date."

Bree Ann froze in place, her pulse rate spiking as she thought about Sadie's words. The mature woman's legs began to feel a little weak; Bree Ann pulled out one of the stools at the island and took a seat.

Was Sadie asking her out on a date? And if so, was Bree Ann ready for that?

There was no doubt in Bree Ann's mind now, that she had developed a very major crush on her beautiful, lesbian friend. Sadie had the grace, charm, and charisma to make her feel things that Bree Ann hadn't felt since the night the storm had taken Jon. The pretty blonde made Bree Ann feel better about herself, the mature, auburn-haired beauty feeling at her best whenever Sadie was by her side. And Sadie made her laugh, the pretty blonde's sharp wit and sense of humor meshing well with Bree Ann's definition of what was funny.

"I have wanted to see the impressionist exhibition for a while now," Bree Ann finally managed to say, her voice quivering slightly as her free hand fidgeted with her keys. 'What would a date be like with Sadie?' she wondered, her mind returning to the thrill of her first dates with her late husband. Jon had been gallant and gentlemanly, her handsome suitor making a young Bree Ann's heart flutter and filling her with desire. 'Would a date with Sadie make me feel the same things?' Bree Ann thought, the prospect sending a shiver of excitement racing down her spine.

"Sure, why not," Bree Ann replied nervously, feeling an instant sense of giddiness at having done so, a touch of heat flaring to life between her legs.