A Second Chance Ch. 02

"Then do something about it," her mother stated plainly. "It won't matter if it's here or somewhere else, and I think you know that."

Angie continued staring down at her hands, nodding her head slowly. She took a few deep breaths to control her erratic breathing before asking the million-dollar question.

"Then why do I still feel like moving is selfish on my part?" Angie looked up at her mother at last, tears still brimming around the outside of her eyes.

Lynn sighed.

"I don't know how to put this more delicately, so I'll just say it: It is slightly selfish of you, in a way. But, BUT, it will be better for all of you in the long run, even if they can't see it right away. They'll have their mother back. And they can't afford to lose another parent, Angela."

Angie broke down into hard, body-racking sobs and buried her face in her hands. She knew it was true. She didn't need her mother to tell her so. The full brevity of the way she had been acting since Jerry's death came crashing down on her. She felt even more like she was drowning. She had gone into the discussion with her mother thinking it would make her feel better to get things off her chest and talk it out with someone else, but she felt even worse. Angie wasn't mad at her mother for this. She was mad at herself. Because really, she was the only one to be mad at.

Once her cries slowed enough to speak again, she finally told her mom the thing that she felt made all the difference in her decision to move.

"That's all fine and dandy, mom, but I've been leaving something out," Angie forced herself to look her mother in the eyes.

"Oh?" she asked simply, waiting for Angie to continue.

"Remember last night I told you 'a friend' brought the idea of moving up?"

"Yes."

"Well, it's Jimmy," she paused, waiting to see any hint of recognition of his name on her mother's face. "Do you know who I'm talking about?"

Angie could see the gears turning in her mother's head before the "lightbulb" finally brightened her features at remembering.

"Oh! He was the one you were going to visit before..." Lynn trailed off. Angie just nodded her head in agreement.

"Well, what's so bad about that?"

Angie's tongue felt thick, not wanting to speak the words in fear of what her mother would think.

"He offered to let us stay with him until we find a place of our own," she spoke solemnly. She fixed her gaze on her hands once more, not wanting to see any looks of judgment on her mom's face, knowing she would remember the connection eventually. There was a long pause.

"So you've kept in touch all these years?"

Angie nodded without looking up.

"Just as friends?" her mother emphasized.

"Yes, of course," Angie's head snapped up. "Never anything more than that, I swear."

Lynn raised an eyebrow at her defensiveness.

"I swear, mom. I would never cheat. The temptation has never even been there, even after I found out about Jerry's...Well, you know."

Her mom nodded her head solemnly without looking her in the eyes.

"I know this probably sounds weird, but he's always just 'gotten me'. Other than you, he's about the only one I've ever felt I could open up to completely. Be myself. Vent to," Angie let her words sink in.

"What about Jerry?" her mom asked, not missing a beat.

She knew her mother couldn't help but ask, but the question still pissed her off for some reason.

"I don't know, mom," she shrugged, looking away.

"I think you do," Lynn said with a slight smile. "And I also think it's your answer. Follow your heart, Ang. You've been thinking with your head for far too long. What does your heart tell you to do?"

"It tells me to run away from here as far as I can and not look back," Angie whispered, finally being completely honest.

"I said it last night and I'll say it again: I can't keep living like this," her eyes felt watery again.

"Then go," her mother responded gently. "You know I don't want you to go, right? But I also understand you need to do what's best for you and my grandbabies. You need a fresh start. You need to be around people you trust," Lynn smiled as she got up from the couch and crossed the living room to hug her daughter.