A Simple Act of Charity

"She's not a hooker, don't call her that," said Austin defensively.

JD looked over at him and pursed his lips. "I didn't mean it in a bad way, but honestly, you know you got it made, right?"

"Jenna's not a hooker," repeated Austin. "And we do more than just have sex."

JD snorted. "Right like you go out to the movies and crap like that? I don't know why you're taking this so badly. You have like the ultimate dream in front of you with a chick who's cool with just being a call girl. I salute you." He mock saluted his cousin with both hands, forgetting that one of them was still holding his controller. The cord snapped out of the console almost immediately. "Fuck, hold on," muttered JD as he tried to rush forward to plug it back in.

Austin was done. He'd had enough with the conversation and quickly left the couch to retreat back to his room.

"Dude, where you going? Don't get all, like, defensive on me, man," yelled JD as Austin took the stairs two at time. As he closed his door, Austin fell on his bed and looked up at the ceiling. He wasn't sure which part of JD's insinuations hurt him more—that he thought Jenna was a hooker or that he would treat her like one.

It started to throw him for a complete loop. JD's words, Robert's words, and hell even his own started to swirl around his head.Call girl. Hooker. Jenna deserves a good man and a good family. Lots of children. Hooker. You can't give her any children. There's no future with you.

Austin grabbed his pillow and held it against his face. He wanted to scream into it. He wished for a way to turn his mind off and stop all these thoughts from racing through it, reminding him how he was essentially using Jenna. Using a sweet girl who carried the world on her shoulders and tried to do the best she could to keep a roof over her father's head.

No matter what he did, the thoughts became worse. His conscience screamed at him for what he was and what he was doing. After nearly a half hour of negative thoughts, he was ready to throw up. He was disgusted with himself, and he wondered if he had always been this broken. Or had the divorce made him that way?

It didn't get any better that evening as the negative thoughts had too long to stew in his brain. Perhaps he needed to let go of Jenna so she could have the life that she deserved? Wasn't it similar to McKenzie? She needed to let go of him so she could go off and start her new life. What if all he was to them was just baggage?

There was a soft knock at the door of his room. Austin shrugged off the pillow to call out to the visitor. "Go away, JD. We'll talk about it tomorrow."

"It's Jenna," came the sweet voice from the other side. She didn't wait for him to respond and opened the door, sticking her head in. Just the sight of her beautiful red tresses made him ashamed of himself. Austin hung his head in his grief.

"Are you okay?" she asked, noticing his demeanor immediately.

"It hasn't been the best day," croaked Austin honestly. He had to take his eyes off her and wound up staring at the floor. At least it was a way for him to feel less guilty.

"Same for me. I just got off work," said Jenna with a weary smile. "I wanted to see if you wanted to get a pizza and maybe we could hang out later?"

Call girl. Hooker. Call girl. Hooker. Good man and a good family.

Austin did the only thing he could in that moment. The only thing his soul demanded to try to put his broken pieces back together. He turned her down.

"I don't think so," he said with a shaky voice. "Just not a good idea."

Jenna frowned instantly. "Oh, okay. Another time then?"

"We'll see," said Austin, immediately hating himself for having to do this.She'll be free now. She can find a man that will give her what she deserves. Even if it kills me in the process.

If he had thought he was doing the right thing, it didn't feel that way. His heart felt like it had been squeezed into a formless pile of dough. Even Jenna looked upset. The look on her face was one of hurt, a deep hurt that scratches at the soul. "Is everything okay? Is something wrong?"

"It's just not a great idea, Jenna," said Austin. "I'll see you around."See you around? That sounds so pathetic.

Jenna nodded as her eyes filled with tears. "Okay," she squeaked as she shut the door in haste. Austin listened as she went down the stairs in a hurry, the door slamming audibly as she went back to her house.

It would be better this way. She might be hurt for a few days but she would find someone new. A girl like her couldn't stay single for long with how much she had to offer. Austin agreed completely with the words that her father had said. Jenna deserved the best when it came to a partner. Not a broken shell of a man.

Inside, his heart ached with constant turmoil. Words that he wanted to say to her kept appearing in his mind, words that he could never say to her now. The lump in his throat grew larger. He'd been foolish for letting himself get so invested in this fling. Perhaps he was foolish for letting it begin at all knowing the pain that it was bound to cause. Pain that he felt so deeply in his chest at the moment.

Yet as he struggled to sleep that night, and as he told himself that his conscience was now clean, it made no difference to his heart. The truth was that he was in love with Jenna, and he had to cast her away for her own good. And now he had to live with the consequences of that action.

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Jenna looked at her text messages again and sighed. It had been over a week since she'd sent her last message to Austin, a question that got no reply. She cycled through her last few messages with him, searching for a clue that could explain his recent absence. Giving up, she tossed it back on her bed and turned to look out the window.

Had she done something wrong? Was he upset with her for some reason? It just didn't make any sense. Things had been going so nicely recently that it was especially troubling why he seemed to have so suddenly shut her out. More than fine, if she was being honest with herself. Her face reddened as she remembered some of the more recent evenings spent with him, usually curled up and nude in his arms.

But it wasn't just about the sex, even though that part was indeed wonderful. What had started as a bizarre form of repayment had blossomed into something that was affectionate and sincere. Or at least it had been. The hole that his absence left in her heart was hard to ignore. They were only a connecting wall away yet never had she felt more apart from someone else.

She struggled to remember their last interactions and to find if any reasoning could be discovered about why he was pulling back from her now. It wasn't the easiest with Austin sometimes. While he was warm and tender, his past experiences with his ex-wife had left him scarred and battered. It wasn't hard to see why he kept such a wall around that portion of his life, one that she'd tried to break down with no such luck. But why was he being so quiet now?

Especially right now. Her father had a doctor's appointment today that started off ominously enough. Dr. Colfax had not sounded happy when he called to ask them to come in, and Jenna could only hope that they were not about to be greeted with more bad news. That would be a blow to their morale that would be hard to recover from. Her father had already suffered so much with the cancer that any setbacks right now could be tragic. She wished for a steady hand and a calming presence, someone who could be strong for her when she needed to be weak. And right now, she had nothing.

She finished getting ready for the morning when she felt a familiar nausea start to hit her stomach.Not again, not right now.

Jenna rushed quickly to the bathroom and was soon huddled close to the toilet, throwing up for the third time this week. She wiped her mouth after unloading just about everything she ate yesterday, upset for having caught the stomach bug that seemed to have been going around the hospital lately. Just last week, one of her closest nursing friends, Lindsay, had been off the entire week because of it, and now it looked like it was her turn.

Except she couldn't afford to take off that many days. Not with her father's condition. She would have to soldier through it the best way she knew how. After leaving the bathroom, she found herself face-to-face with her father, watching her carefully from the door.

"You okay, sweetheart? The sound carried all the way downstairs. That sounded nasty," said her father with a look of concern.

"Just a stomach bug," said Jenna with a forced smile. "It seems I've finally caught it. I was bound to get it eventually with how quickly it's been making its way through the hospital."

"I hope it goes away soon," said her father. "I hate to hear you sound like that. You remind me of your mother when she was pregnant with you. She used to get so sick in the mornings, and it seemed like all she did was throw up during those nine months. Anyway, do you feel as bad as it sounded?"

Jenna carefully rested her hand on her still upset stomach. "It'll get better. I have a feeling it just needs to run its course and then I'll be fine. It's not like it's unusual for this time of year anyway."

Robert nodded. Never a year went by that at least one of them didn't come down with something during the winter months. Whether a cold or flu or a simple stomach bug, they never escaped the cold months unscathed.

"We should get going soon, right?" said Jenna. "Your appointment is at ten."

Robert looked at his watch and nearly jumped. "How is it already nine! Yes, let's get going shortly. Let me grab my shoes!"

The elder man sat and slid his feet into his shoes. Once he started to have trouble with the laces, Jenna leaned down to help him tie them up.

"Thank you, sweetheart," said Robert as she got them ready to go. She helped him walk out the front door and get into her car. All along the way, Jenna kept sneaking glances over at Austin's house. The front window was uncovered but she couldn't really see anything inside from this angle. With how little she'd seen of him lately, she had to wonder if he even still lived there.

She took a deep breath and turned her eyes away from the house. It was just too painful to think about right now, especially with this doctor's appointment looming. Once she had the car started, she pulled out from the driveway and kept her eyes off the rearview mirror. Perhaps if she couldn't look at his house anymore, it would stop reminding her of the pain.

Unfortunately, that didn't prove to be the case.

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"Robert, I hated to have to call you in today like this, but the cancer is back," said Dr. Colfax as he sat down in front of father and daughter. "It's not looking good. It's spread to your lungs now."

Robert blinked. "My lungs? How's that possible?"

"It's not uncommon with bone cancer for it to spread. But you need to take a look at this." The doctor pulled out a chart that showed two spots on his lungs that were off-colored from the rest. "These two are new growths. With how quickly they're growing, we'll need to take action quickly. We need to get you back on the chemo, and we'll be looking at surgery soon to excise them as quickly as possible. I don't want to let this linger, and I think surgery is the best option right now. The chemo will be to stop anything from coming back or growing anew."

"Don't we have any other options besides another round of surgery and chemo?" asked Jenna while affectionately touching her father's shoulder. "He's already been through so much his year and it's taken such a toll on him. I hate to see him have to go through this again. Is there nothing else we can do?"

Dr. Colfax took his glasses off and shook his head. "I'm afraid not. Not with how quickly these tumors are growing. I believe surgery to be our best option right now. It's essential that we move quickly before these tumors get too out of control."

"And then what, doc?" asked Robert. "What's the outlook from here?"

"We'll see how you respond to the chemo after the surgery. But I'm not sure I can give you a firm answer here. It's hard to say what might happen with this kind of cancer."

A small tear fell from Robert's eye. Jenna moved to embrace her father and support him in the best way she knew how. This was the very news she feared the most.

"Be straight with me, doc. What are my chances?" asked Robert.

"I won't lie to you, Robert," said Dr. Colfax. "It's about fifty-fifty right now. That's why we need to move quickly. We'll get your surgery scheduled as soon as possible, and in the meantime, all we can do is pray."

Robert's face went white before he managed a subtle nod of acknowledgment at the doctor's words. Dr. Colfax took a few moments to update the chart and go over some other details before he headed toward the door. "I'm going to send my assistant in here to schedule the surgery with you. Keep your head up, Robert. We can beat this."

"Thanks, doc," said a dejected Robert, his eyes fixed firmly on the floor. Once the doctor had left, Jenna moved to hug her father again.

"It's okay, Dad. You heard what he said. We can beat this," said Jenna while trying to hold back the tears. Hearing the odds had been the worst part. A basic coin flip was now the only determination between whether her father would live or not.

"See why I always told you not to smoke?" said Robert with a weary smile. "All those years of using those death sticks has finally caught up with me."

Jenna wiped a tear from his face. "It doesn't sound like that caused it, Dad. The doctor said so himself—bone cancer can spread easily to the lungs."

"Yeah, but the smoking hasn't done me any favors," sniffed Robert. "That'll work against me, I'm sure."

"We still have hope," said Jenna as she kissed his forehead.

The rest of the appointment went by in slow agony. It felt like ages waiting for the assistant to show up to schedule the appointment. Thankfully, they were able to get Robert into an open slot for next week. Otherwise, they would have been looking over a month out. Thank god for cancellations.

The next couple days were hardly any better. Her father's morale seemed to have plunged with the news, and he seemed more withdrawn than ever before. He was so positive the first time around, self-assured that he would beat any cancer with a positive attitude. It was as if the news had taken the very wind out of his sails. He started to sleep more and talk less. He started to scoff at getting bathed daily, wondering out loud what the use was anymore. For Jenna, it was almost like he had decided to give up before the surgery was even here. It became her own personal hell to watch him decide that his life wasn't worth living anymore.

While she tried to keep her father's spirits as elevated as possible, this stomach bug took its toll on her body. Just about every morning, she found herself on her knees in the bathroom throwing up. What was curious enough about it was that it didn't go away after a few days, which was odd in itself. It had carried on for almost a full week now and didn't seem to be letting up.

Another thing that bothered her was that it only seemed to happen in the mornings. The rest of the day she felt fine, well, fine in comparison. It wasn't until the morning before the surgery that she realized her breasts were sore. She walked to the bathroom and pulled off her bra to stare at her topless figure in the mirror. Cupping her breasts produced a feeling of tenderness, a dull ache that had her wondering what it could be from. It wasn't until she pulled her hands away and noticed their fullness that it dawned on her.

Oh no. Sore, full breasts. Throwing up every morning. When was my last period? Oh, fuck!

Jenna went through the drawers in her vanity on a futile quest. She knew she wouldn't have any pregnancy tests here. To have a need for a test, you had to be sexually active, which she hadn't been for a long time prior to Austin.

She prayed that it wasn't actually the case, especially with where things had been with Austin lately, but she knew it was likely the right answer as she rushed to the local pharmacy. Picking up several tests, she made the frantic drive home and pulled into the driveway with only a casual flicker of her gaze over to Austin's house. It still looked nearly empty, and his car wasn't in the lot. She turned her attention back to her house and quickly slipped inside.

She didn't have to worry about her father seeing the tests, thankfully, as he was taking a midmorning nap. Jenna locked herself in the bathroom and started to take all of them just to be sure. After several moments of agony, she watched as every single test had the positive line show up clear as day.

She was pregnant.

Jenna felt herself sliding down the wall to come to a seat against the wooden floor. She took a deep breath and sighed loudly.What great timing. With her father's surgery tomorrow that was so risky and unpredictable, she was now carrying another life inside her. One from a man who wasn't answering her messages. She wrapped her arms around her body and rocked back and forth. For someone who always tried to do the right thing, she found herself truly lost for words or actions at this point.

The biggest question now would be what to do about Austin? She missed him terribly, and if she was pregnant, then she felt compelled to tell him. But how could she do it?Hey, I know you're ignoring me right now, but guess what! I'm pregnant! She shook her head fiercely. There had to be a better way to do it.

The timing couldn't be worse with this. Not only was she petrified for tomorrow but even just being in the waiting room while the surgery was taking place would be rough on her. That's when an idea began to form in her head.

Grabbing her phone, she searched for Austin's name and started to call him. She was almost positive he wouldn't pick up because after all, they'd always just texted. But she felt the need to speak to him instead of just type out a long-winded response. While his voicemail greeting ran, she rehearsed her words carefully and began to speak at the beep.

"Hey Austin, it's me. I'm not sure what's happened the past couple weeks but I just . . . really need you right now. We just got some awful news, and my dad has surgery scheduled for tomorrow for another set of tumors. I really don't want to do this by myself. I really need you. Would you please consider being with me tomorrow at the hospital? The surgery is at ten. Please Austin, it would mean the world to me."

She clicked the end button as her voice cracked and she started to cry. Even just saying that into the phone took all the strength she had to make it in one piece. But now the ball was truly in his court. If he cared about her at all, he'd respond to that message. And that would tell her all she needed to know. Especially if this new creation in her belly would one day have a father in his/her life.

Jenna quickly texted him the address and the location within the hospital to meet her at and then tossed her phone to the side while she dried her eyes. It was time to put on a brave face. She couldn't let her father see her like this, and she hoped that she'd be able to keep it together at least through tomorrow.

But her mind prayed for Austin's response.

---------

There are few moments in one's life when something makes you change your outlook on something else completely. For Austin, he hadn't nearly been so disturbed to find out that Santa Claus wasn't real as much as the first time he walked into his parent's bedroom when the door was shut. That particular incident had been scarring. It was nearly matched by the voicemail he received that afternoon.