A Softly Dominant T-girl's Crush

Shit! He was close behind her now, almost on top of her. She needed more speed, she just needed to keep herself ahead for a little longer. Another couple of corners and she'd be safe. Almost there. Alison risked a glance to see where he was but it proved a fatal error as she crashed into a small pile of boxes by the side of the road sending her flying. Adam seized his chance, racing past her and across the finish line, pumping his fist before slamming down the controller.

"Damn it I should have won that!" Alison shouted in frustration.

"Yeah well, maybe you're not as good as you think you are," Adam replied, his elation at winning had rapidly dissipated again and a slight edge had returned to his voice. That edge was far too familiar to her now, a coldness that broke her heart a little every time she heard it.

"Well I'll get you next time. Do you want to play again?" She said with a fake chirpiness in her voice.

"Nah I'm all Mario Karted out right now." Adam mumbled as he walked back to his room to be alone. He was spending much more time alone than he used to.

Alison sighed internally. A month ago he would have been on his feet after beating her on the final corner like that. Rubbing his victory in her face and doing that silly little victory dance of his that always left her trying to suppress a smile. She would have done practically anything to see him do that stupid little dance for her right now.

She could feel the tears welling up behind her eyes but refused to let them flow. How the hell had she managed to screw things up so badly between them?

**********

She had known Adam for over twenty years now, since they had met as four year olds back in pre-school, back when she was still Alister. And for twenty years they had done practically everything together. They were damn near inseparable. Or at least they used to be. Before she'd fuck it up. Before Michelle had come between them.

The only other time their friendship had ever been in doubt was in high school when Alister first began transitioning into Alison. A lot of their friends started to distance themselves and Adam, to his own eternal shame, had actually considered bailing out on her as well. He had originally tried to justify abandoning his best friend by telling himself it was Alister not Alison that he liked. He didn't know this new person and owed her no loyalty so if he left to avoid the fallout no-one could blame him for making the smart choice right?

In the end Adam couldn't bring himself to make the smart choice though. He had left it too late and was one of the only people she could still turn to and rely on. He simply couldn't set Alison adrift so he remained by her side and they became outcasts together. It was a decision that, until recently, he had never regretted.

In the first year of her transition Adam became her rock, the one who helped her through all the snide comments about the t-girl, the shemale, the dirty little tranny and all the other petty bullying. Alison didn't think she could have coped without him but over time she toughened up and grew stronger as her mentality changed. For her the best defence became a strong offence and she worked hard in the gym and on the track. Adam began to see her as a source of protection and security, coming to rely on her just as much as she relied on him.

Alison's confidence continued to increase as she matured and the various surgeries and procedures turned her into the woman she had always wanted to be. She was 5'11 with long silken blond hair, crystal clear blue eyes, perky c-cup breasts and a smile that could melt an ice cap. Added to that she was quick witted, easy going and made friends easily. The early disdain of her peers became grudging respect before morphing into acceptance and ever increasing popularity.

As she passed eighteen and entered womanhood she also began to develop a certain reputation in the bedroom as well. The rumours were that she was a kind and generous lover who operated as a top, was well equipped and knew how to use it.

Alison became the bold one who widened their cycle of friends and got the girls. She got the guy's as well of course but that part didn't bother Adam much. What bothered Adam was that his wingman, well wingwoman, shared his tastes and either swept in to steal any girl he was starting to get close to or was so brazen in her pursuit that she scared them away. She hadn't always been like that and he'd had a few girlfriends in the past but recently Alison seemed to be blocking him at every turn.

When she moved out of home and asked him to help share the rent he leapt at the chance but he soon discovered the downside. Adam now had to put up with hearing her have sex with the girls he'd been hitting on. If he didn't know better he could have sworn she was putting on a show just to make him jealous but he couldn't believe she would really do that just to spite him. It seriously pissed him off though. Especially since, unlike him, she didn't seem interested in anything long term and lost interest soon after the conquest.

Michelle had been the final straw. She was everything he was looking for in a woman, kind, sexy, tall, blond, nice perky boobs and someone he could talk to for hours on end like an old friend. Michelle was special and could have been the one if Alison hadn't muscled her way in. For the first time in his life he truly resented her.

**********

Alison raised her head and smiled as Adam re-emerged from the depths of his room, grateful for every chance to talk to him, for every chance to repair some of the damage she'd caused.

"Hey Adam, you coming back out to hang with me for a while, watch some TV?"

"Nah I'm just gonna grab a coffee and go back to my room to chill."

"Oh come on man. Seriously, we need to talk about this. It's been a month of you giving me the cold shoulder and we need to clear the air between us. Please come and sit down next to me, I can't take this anymore."

"No thanks."

"Adam! Come and sit with me!"

"Fuck off!"

"Please Adam." She whined.

He looked into her eyes and there was a real sadness there. Damn it, he thought, she always did know how to twist me around her little finger. If he was honest with himself he had really been missing spending time with her and she was a hard person to say no to. He wasn't going to make it easy for her though. She had crossed a line and he simply couldn't let it continue anymore if they were going to remain friends.

"Urgh fine," he said sitting down. "So what is it then? What do you want to say?"

Shit what did she actually want to say? A hell of a lot more than she was going to say that's for sure.

"Look about Michelle. I... I'm sorry I didn't know how much you liked her."

"Oh fuck off Alison, that's complete bullshit. I told you often enough. I really, really liked her and you damn well knew it. For once in your life you could have just stood aside but oh no, as per fucking usual you couldn't resist hitting on the girl I wanted. And maybe, just maybe, I could have forgiven you if you were genuinely interested in her but oh no! Two weeks later you split up. We haven't seen her since and even if I couldn't be with her that way I'd have liked to keep her as a friend. I know I could have made it work with her. Why do you keep doing it? It's like you can't stand the thought of me being happy."

"What! Oh course I want you to be happy but not with her. Adam I... I..."

"You what? What do you want? And why not her. What was wrong with Michelle?"

"Michelle was too good for you Adam," she snapped. "That's why I didn't want you two getting together. She was just too damn good for you!" His face fell and Alison felt a rising sense of panic. Oh shit! What the fuck have I just said?

"I'm not good enough for her? That's what you think of me? All these years I've stood by you and you think I'm such an ugly, boring, shitty little troglodyte that I don't have a chance with a nice girl like her! Wow! Thanks for that Alison. Thanks a fucking bunch."

"Adam! Adam! That came out wrong. I didn't mean it like that! Please, you have to believe me."

"Believe what Alison! What the fuck did you mean by it then?"

"I... I..." Alison's mind went blank, unable and unwilling to say what she wanted.

Adam stormed back to his room slamming the door behind him as Alison slumped down onto the sofa. Fuck! Why couldn't I have just told him the truth, she thought, he must know how I feel about him. He can't be that clueless. Yeah he knows, he just doesn't want to say it to my face and make it awkward between us. He doesn't want to hurt me and I'm just fucking destroying him. A tear formed in the corner of her eye and she wiped it away with the back of her hand. No more she sniffed. I can't do this any more. I can't keep sabotaging him like this. As painful as it is, I have to let him go.

Alison jumped to her feet in elation as Adam came back out.

"Adam! I'm so glad you've come back to hear me out. Thank you, thank you, I'm so sorry and I'll make it up to you. I promise I'll... why... oh no... why have you got your bags packed?"

"They've been packed for a while. I'm moving back in with my folks. I've been thinking about doing this for a few weeks now as us living together isn't working out. You've always been my best friend but I need to meet someone and move on with my life and you're... you're holding me back. We need more space between us. We need to spend a lot more time apart."

Alison watched open mouthed as he walked to the door. It was like an out of body experience. This wasn't happening. He couldn't really be leaving her.

"I'll keep paying my part of the rent until you find a new roommate and..." He didn't know what else to say. He didn't know if there was anything else to say except. "Goodbye Alison."

And with that he was gone. Twenty years of friendship was over and for the first time in her life Alison was truly alone...

**********

Ring-Ring Ring-Ring

Adam scrambled through the mess on his bed. Where the hell was it.

Ring-Ring

"Hold on, I'm almost there." He cried out to the world, ignoring the fact that if they could hear him yelling at them to hold on they wouldn't be bloody well ringing him in the first place.

Ring-Ring

"There it is!" He dove across the room.

"Hello?" He panted, how could finding a phone be so exhausting?

"Hey, is that you Adam? It's me Michelle. You sound a bit out of breath, is this a bad time?"

"What? No. I've just been out running you know. Can't get a body like this without putting the work in."

"Yeah well it definitely shows," she giggled, well he did have a runner's legs but the biggest workout out his arms ever got was probably typing away on a keyboard at work. "Anyway, Alison's been in contact with me and she's been begging me to give you a call and take you out somewhere, so umm, are you interested in meeting up?"

"YES!" he shouted enthusiastically. "Well, I mean, yeah OK, whatever, if you want to meet up that sounds alright, I could get down with that," he belatedly added with a suitable amount of unconvincing casual indifference.

"Well how about lunch tomorrow," she chuckled, "the cafe on Belmont Avenue around 1pm?" She had always liked Adam and if it wasn't for Alison she could definitely have seen herself going out with him.

"Yeah I know the place I'll see you there. Oh and by the way I don't need Alison to beg girls to date me. I'm quite capable of begging women directly. My begging has an almost 0.3% success rate I'll have you know!"

"Wow, as high as that! I am impressed," she giggled. "Well I'll see you later Adam."

**********

Adam approached the cafe with his nerves on edge. Was this actually a date? She said 'are you interested in meeting up' not 'do you want to go on a date with me' which is what he had wanted to hear. Well actually what he really wanted to hear was 'do you want to go for a date, make out like it's our last day on earth and follow it up with a night of passion so biblically noisy it can even be heard in the vacuum of space.' And then there was the time and the venue. Lunch at a cafe. Again this was not pointing to imminent biblical volumes of sex.

God he missed Alison. It was times like this he really did miss her advice and she always knew how to put him at ease, lighten his mood and boost his confidence. Or at least she used to. He hadn't seen her for days and it was the longest he had gone without seeing her for... damn it he couldn't even remember the last time they had spent this long apart. For a second he wanted nothing more than to run back to their flat to see her again. Would Michelle understand if he asked her to put this off until tomorrow? He could say he was sick. Argh. No. What was he thinking? He'd been lusting over Michelle for ages so why the hell was he thinking of blowing her off?

He checked out his reflection in the window. It had taken him ages to work out what he was going to wear but had finally gone for slacks and a snazzy short sleeved shirt. Ok. Smart but not too smart. He rolled his neck, put his shoulders back to walk a little taller, had a little practice swagger and headed in.

"Hey Adam. Great to see you," she said standing up to give him a hug and a light sideways kiss on the cheek. "How have you been?"

He stood for a moment with his mouth slightly open just in case she wanted to give him a peck on the lips but nothing was forthcoming and she smiled warmly but not lustily. As they took their seats he took a moment to check her out. Damn it she's wearing jeans and an old t-shirt he thought, considerably more casual than him. Sure he didn't expect her to be wearing an evening gown, heels, diamond earring and showing the hint of some racy lingerie but still... This was making him feel a little overdressed. And she could have at least shown a bit of cleavage. Oh no. This was definitely a friend meeting another friend who thinks they're on a date. Shit!

"Hi Michelle. Yeah I've been good, things are great with me. Never better."

"Really? Cause when I was on the phone with Alison she said you guys had been fighting recently and had a huge falling out. I've never heard her sounding so depressed before. She was really, really down. I've got a horrible feeling it might be something to do with me."

"Well..." He went bright red, "it's umm... well it wasn't just about you it's been coming for a long time. I'm sure we'll get over it but we share the same taste in women and sometimes that causes issues. We might just need to set some rules and boundaries when it comes to pursuing girls we both like."

"Ha, yeah right!" She snorted.

"What?"

Adam couldn't help but feel a bit hurt by her reaction. Maybe Alison was right all along. Maybe Michelle was completely out of his league and it was a failure of diplomacy on Alison's part rather than cruelty. The derision, probably well earned, that Michelle showed for the idea that Adam could simply ask for a free run at her was abundantly clear. To be fair, now he thought about it, it did sound pretty arrogant.

"Alison isn't into women Adam. She admitted that much to me before we split up. I actually quite liked you but you never made a move on me so I thought you might not be interested. And then Alison hit on me and I was a little curious so I tried her out. I kinda used her to scratch a couple of itches if you know what I mean."

She leaned in and said the next part barely over a whisper. "You know, experimenting, trying out the whole transgirl thing." She sat back again before continuing.

"Plus I'd heard all the rumours about her having a nice big fat cock and really knowing how to use it. All true by the way. You must have seen it right? It's gotta be at least eight inches long and everyone should try a big dick out at some point in their lives. Even boys." She winked. "I couldn't take it all but she is a very considerate lover, she didn't just slam it all the way in or anything. Basically she just slides it in until you're at your limit and then sticks to that depth. It's like an all you can eat sausage buffet you just tell her when you're full." She giggled. "And the girth! I mean. Wow! Just wow!" She sat back smiling softly to herself at the memory.

Adam stared back open mouthed. This was definitely not a date. A date did not talk about her ex like that. A date did not talk about your best friend's big fat cock with a dreamy longing look in her eyes. Wait... 'Even boys?' Is she actually suggesting I find a big dick and give it a go? Double wait. What the hell does she mean Alison's not into women?

"What the hell do you mean Alison's not into women? I've known her a lot longer than you and I can assure you she is definitely into girls. We go for the same type!"

"No. You don't. She likes guys. She's really not that interested in girls." He stared back at her blankly until she sighed and continued. "Indulge me for a moment Adam. Who did she go out with for the longest?"

"Err... well there was a guy called Johnny who she went out with for a few months."

"Yeah she talked about him. And what was he like?"

"Well he was a nice enough guy I suppose and we seemed to have a lot in common but there was something about him that I just didn't quite like. I'm not quite sure what it was though."

"Uh-huh. Well from what I've been told he was very similar to you. Looks, personality, sense of humour. Interesting that you didn't like him. You didn't get a bit jealous did you?"

"What... no... well... no of course not. I mean... he did take a lot of her attention away from our friendship but..." Damn it he had been jealous and he had told Alison numerous times that Johnny wasn't right for her. Why the hell had he done that? Had he been trying to split them up? Had he been trying to keep Alison for himself? "...but we like the same type of girls." He eventually threw back at her trying to deflect an awkward and disturbing line of self reflection.

"No. You seriously don't. She doesn't have ANY interest in girls. Every time you show interest in someone she hits on them before you can and either scares them off or beds and bins them to keep you single and by her side. She's hopelessly in love with you and you've got to be the only one who can't see it."

"No... she... she... she said you were too good for me! That doesn't exactly sound like someone who thinks I'm the cat's whiskers now does it!"

"Yeah..." Michelle sighed sadly. "She was in tears when she told me about that. She told you she couldn't let you have me because I was too good for you right? Well it wasn't what you think. Alison thought if we started dating I was too good a match for you and we might end up staying together forever. That we might end up moving in together, getting married, having kids, the lot. That's why she 'couldn't let you have me'. She was petrified that she'd lose you permanently. That you'd leave her before she found the courage to tell you how she really feels."

Adam sat shaking his head. It couldn't be. How could he have not seen it?

"Adam!" He snapped his focus back to her. "Alison has no idea I'm telling you all this. She called me up and begged me to go out with you because she can't live without you and can't bear the thought of losing you completely from her life. She hates herself for what she's been doing to you. So... Now that you know what are you going to do next?"

**********

Alison sat on the sofa wearing sweatpants, a comfy old baggy top and with a huge tub of ice cream and a big spoon. Damn can I get anymore clichéd than this, she thought, I've even got the sad music and girly movies going on. Right! Enough of this. I'm gonna pull myself together, get off this couch, shower, wash my hair and get my life back. I don't care if he's out with Michelle. Good for him. I'm pleased for Adam. It's time for me to move on. She took another bite of ice cream and slumped her shoulders. With a big sigh she glanced at the clock. Was it too early to start drinking?