A Spark, to Pierce the Dark

"I-," Nathan opens his mouth, but he's not sure what he wants to say. Silence takes over the space between them.

Before he knows it, Nathan feels tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Hey, hey, hey, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Through his wet, blurry vision, he sees Keith rushing towards him. Then, he feels Keith's fingers on his face, wiping the hot tears away, leaving a sticky feeling on his cheeks.

"You don't even know me," Nathan says, trying to fight back the tears.

"But I do. I do know you," Keith says. "And even if I don't, I want to get to know you. That's what I want." Nathan is sure Keith has the most gentle look in his eyes right now, but he can't bring himself to see it.

"Something's wrong with me, Keith," Nathan looks down at the ground, where drops of his tears are collecting.

"Nothing's wrong with you-"

"No," Nathan shakes his head. "Something's real fucked up inside me. It's like I don't-" Nathan says, his throat hurting, but he knows he can push the words out if he tries.

"You don't what?"

"It's like I don't fucking feel anything. Like I don't love anyone anymore," Nathan wants to scream the words out. "Like I don't really give a shit about my family, or my friends, or anyone or anymore."

Keith is quiet for a second, but then Nathan feels Keith's arms around him, his body being pulled into the warmth of Keith's embrace, which makes Nathan wants to cry even more.

"There's nothing's wrong with you," Keith says, his breath warm against Nathan's ears.

"Yes there fucking is. What kind of person doesn't know if they love others? What kind of person has to think about whether they feel for someone or not? And, and, and," Nathan hears himself ranting, "I want a boyfriend so bad. I fucking want one, alright? I thought maybe if I fell in love with someone, I won't feel so numb anymore. And now, you tell me you like me, and I fucking hate myself for not being able to say it back."

"You don't have to like me. It's fine if you don't."

"But I want to!" Nathan chokes. "I want to go out with you, Keith. You're so nice and caring and thoughtful and funny and hot and you're fucking perfect. But I just don't know if... I feel about you the way you feel about me."

"Look at me."

Keith pulls away from Nathan and cups his face again. Nathan blinks away the tears, which seem to be finally drying out, and looks at Keith's eyes. It's as if they are shining a ray of warm, pleasant light onto him.

"I'm gonna say this as many times as you need me to. There's nothing wrong with you? OK? I think maybe you're just... scared."

"What?"

"I think that," Keith says, and Nathan can see Keith mulling the words over in his head, "maybe somewhere along the line, you got so scared of losing the people you love, that you decided not to love anyone at all. Doesn't mean you're broken, though."

Nathan lets out a frustrated scoff. "You don't know that."

"Yeah, you're right. I got that from a book I read," Keith says, grinning. Nathan can't help but chuckle.

"Nice, I made you laugh," Keith says with a satisfied smile. "Anyways, my point is, these things happen. Our minds get weird sometimes. But it's not gonna stay like that forever, and I'm gonna prove that to you."

"How?"

"I'm gonna make you fall in love with me."

Keith's words bounce across the room, against the walls, and ring inside Nathan's mind.

Before Nathan starts to giggle non-stop.

"What? Too cheesy?" Keith asks.

"Yeah," Nathan nods. The tears have stopped, but he feels like crying again from giggling.

"Well, in any case, just give me a chance. And give yourself a chance, OK?" Keith says, grabbing Nathan's hands and holding them tightly.

"Aren't you scared, though? That we'll become toxic or something. Because a relationship where one person really likes the other person but the other one is a fucked up human who isn't even sure he has emotions sounds like a recipe for disaster."

"OK, one, I recall you saying you do want to go out with me, and judging from what just happened, I'm sure you do have emotions. Two, trust me, I won't let us get toxic, and I know you won't either," Keith says. "So what do you say?"

Nathan thinks for a moment, and then he says: "Alright."

"Alright?"

"Yeah, let's do it. Sweep me off my feet, Superman."

"Awesome!" Keith squeezes their hands together, beaming like he's the embodiment of the word "sunshine."

"Ow, ow, ow," Nathan says, trying to pull his fingers away.

"Oh, oops, sorry," Keith lets go of Nathan's hands with an apologetic smile.

"It's cool," Nathan smiles back. For the first time in a long time, he feels hopeful.

"You're not gonna regret this, Nathan. I promise," Keith says.

"And I'll try my best not to disappoint you," Nathan replies.

"You won't disappoint me," Keith says, before grabbing a towel off a command hook. "So, shower?"