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"Shawn..." she says softly, hesitantly.
I shut my eyes, and after taking a huge deep breath in, I say in a steady voice, "I can't stay, Sandra. What we have... it's really over."
"It doesn't have to be," she argues.
"It's not a choice for me. I have to leave."
"But why?"
I falter for a second. "Because I'm a drifter, Sandra. I don't stay in one place for a long time, neither do I stick to one woman for a long time."
Seconds pass, and I think that she no longer has any words to say but then proves me wrong by asking, "Am I still a fling to you?"
No, Cassandra. You managed to mean much more to me than I could've ever predicted. You have no idea how central you've become to my life.
"Yes. Nothing more, nothing less," I reply in a deadpan tone, and I swear that I felt a tsunami of despair slam into me from the back.
The third, longest and most tense silence ensues, forcing us both to accept my words as they sink into our minds, a hundred thousand tons of misery settling on our shoulders, smashing, suffocating, and gradually destroying us.
Then I take a step away from her, and then another, and then I'm out of her room and soon down the stairs and out the front door. I get into the car and unthinkingly reach for the ignition, managing to drive past the gate without crashing into anything. My hands tighten their grip on the steering wheel as I travel further and further away from her house, my happiness, our last chance to be together.
And then I yell at the injustice and cruelty of the world, and cry at my inability to change it.
- COMMENTS
Devilbobyabout 4 years agoHow you resolve this will determine how clever. I know the last available part is here but I always resolve to not read on until it is right to do so, similarly I never turn to the back page to find how a novel is resolved. Must go got some reading to do.
