A Strange Dichotomy

I couldn't believe how nervous I was, even in the midst of my confidence in my

intellect, personality, looks, and general worthiness. There was just something about this woman, this new relationship. An ineffable feeling I don't think I've ever had before.

We walk into my humble abode, I give her the extremely short tour, and I start to cook dinner as we talk. A bit of nervousness lingers between the words. Maybe it's because we met on Fetlife, but we each made it clear we're each wanting a serious relationship. Having a dinner date with the woman I met on a website for freaky sex, and haven't yet pinned to the bed like my personal fuck toy, makes for a strange dichotomy.

Over to the table with the food, and a movie while we eat. Although the movie is new to her, I've seen it a few times before, so I have plenty of attention to spare for trying to find a way to initiate our first affectionate contact. Should I rest my hand on her knee? Grab her hand? Offer mine to be grabbed? Bang my forehead on the table until I'm unconscious? Okay, probably not the latter.

Thankfully, a scene in the movie offers me inspiration; but I wait until the credits roll, so she can enjoy the movie. I start sniffing around her, pausing to list things about her that couldn't possibly be smelled. She starts to giggle. I move in toward her ear, knowing that my sniffing is going to crank up the giggles. I brush the hair from her ear, and kiss her neck. She turns to me, and we embrace. A good, firm hug; a good sign that she's as affectionate as me, and likes me as much as I like her. The parallel angles of our chairs have my torso twisted in a way not entirely compatible with the geometry of my spine; but I'm really loving this hug, so I'm willing to sacrifice a spinal disc or two to keep it going.

Thankfully, she soon says "Why don't we snuggle?". Oh, how my heart leaps at those four words! I switch to softer lighting, and we spoon on the bed. I get to be the big spoon to start, and immediately I realize how woefully inadequate my body pillow and stuffed animal (don't judge) have been as a surrogate for a snuggle partner these past few years.

And then, as I settle in, I think... well... I don't really think anything. When I used to

curl up with the body pillow and "Squishypig" (again, don't judge) I would often think about snuggling with a hypothetical special someone. Now that a special someone is in my arms, there's not much to think; there's just a big smile on my mind and lips.

Predictably, my hands eventually begin to wander. Over her face, exploring its

topography like I want to try to memorize it, just in case I don't get to see her again. Into her hair, over her neck.

She wants to be the big spoon, so I gladly roll over. Our arms and legs intertwine. I grab her hand, and kiss the palm, where I know it's so sensitive. Eventually my hands wander some more; this time over her leg and thigh. And butt. And a little lower.

"Looking for something?", with the smile audible in her voice.

"Maybe. Is it alright if we move, so I can get a better angle?" We do. Our new

interlocking position is hard to describe; like a couple of erotic puzzle pieces.

I need her butt, so I knead her butt. Still kneading, my hand moves to the cleft. Her breathing deepens. My hand moves toward her front. Her breathing quickens, and her arms tighten. A bit farther forward, and she suddenly clamps me hard with her arms, presses her head to mine, and moans "Oh, fuck!".

I'm guessing that's the spot.

Several seconds of vigorous hand motions that I've refined over the years, and the spasms of orgasm race through her like electricity. Gods, I love that. I whisper a cheer of "Yeah, yeah, yeah!", until it seems like rubbing any more would be too much for a now overly-sensitive area.

I really like the sound of her heavy breathing and the feel of her slack limbs as she glides down from her orgasm. Several minutes of blissful intertwined silence later, her alarm on her phone tells her it's time to head home. She ignores it, and I feel... well... it's still early in the relationship, so let's say... "very appreciated".

Maybe a half hour later, she's up and around, and we talk a bit about the relationship. Words like "girlfriend" and "love" don't get used; but at one point, she does say "I don't think I can just be casual with you.". And my heart goes thump. And the sudden increase in blood pressure makes my eyes a little watery.

I walk her to her car, a hug and kiss goodbye, and I walk back into my humble abode. About a half hour later, I text her.

"Hey... ya wanna come over sometime? Sometime soon?"

"LOL I just left!"

"Wanna come back?"

"Yep. I'll be happy to come back soon."

Oh yeah. Life is good.