All Comments on 'A Summer Job at The Fireworks Stand'

Special thanks to Don Martin of Mad Magazine and Stan Lee of Marvel Comics for onomatopoeia training. --MackKnifely

The sex part was boring. The plot part was almost nonexistent. Missing words, misspellings, butchered verb conjugations, and errant punctuation all came together to remove what little readability and entertainment.

You barely deserve the rating I have, but no stars doesn't count.

To tell the truth, I found this story to be a very amateurish writing.

The story line was broken into unlinked fragments of gibberish.

Obviously there was no editing or proofreading.

Author, Please take this as constructive criticism.

It is not meant to be a mean slam against your ability to tell a story.

I do give the author credit for at least getting something posted !

Thanks! Always great to hear from an Unfan. Snoochins!

funny, i get the humor and found it refreshingly different. keep trying for the best you can be.

Worked a couple fireworks stands in college... You nailed that part solid! Some proofreading/editing would have helped, but good story!

A genuine thanks for the comments, they are sharp and accurate. I rushed this one, and it showed with sloppy editing. I will do better. I'm glad folks hated and appreciated the story. The comments made me think about how I struggle over how much "plot" to put into my Erotica. Often I feel guilty if there is too much story without any sex. After all, we're here to get off, right? That's the great Mindfuck of writing Stories about fucking; good art only comes when an artist can be free to please himself, but if Erotica doesn't please The Other, viscerally, then my art has failed no matter how great I think I am. What matters more? My creative rights or your erections?

There is enough very highly rated literature on this site to illustrate that a true writer doesn't need to sacrifice the story or writing for sex. In fact, the highest rated stories, even in incest, are more story than sex. Consider that maybe you're just not a very good writer.

That wasn't erotica. It was a third rate cartoon.

Fun and funny, could be in the erotic humor category. I enjoyed the chaos and the names of the fireworks at the climax.