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In addition to the mechanical/grammatical/stylistic errata, a few content issues arose over time as well. The most obvious is Mark's age. He is forty-four in Chapter 1, but he is forty-two when I come back to the story after the post-Chapter 20 break. That error came about because I mistrusted my own notes and made him the age I thought I remembered, which was forty-two. I like that age for him better, so his 'official' age at the time he meets Jessika and Jessi is now forty-two. The other content error that bothers me is Mark's wife. In Chapter 1, I indicated they met after college. But when he and Jessika go out with his friends, he talks about knowing his wife in college. My intention there was that he knew his future wife in college but did not start dating her until after he earned his Master of Arts and was teaching. I believe this made more sense for his backstory, so like his age, the later treatment is now 'official'.
If you have any questions or comments, please either leave them in the comment section or send me a message. I love reading (most) of your comments. :)
Again, thank you for reading!
Kveldulf
- COMMENTS
Anonymous5 months agoThis was an excellent series and I'm rather sorry it's over... but it ended right.
Anonymousalmost 2 years agoI thought this story was great fantastic writing I am now at a loss as I felt part of all their lives. Thank you very much for your efforts it was a great journey
strebor190about 2 years agoI really enjoyed this story. I was fortunate enough to only recently find it and was able to enjoy reading the whole series over the course of a week or so, instead of the five year span in which it was originally posted. The character development was excellent and I much more enjoy stories that go deeper than just the sex with plenty of emotion and drama outside the bedroom. The construction of this story certainly lent itself to that and I'll be sure to look for more of your work, Kveldulf. Thanks for the great read and I hope to find more about these characters.
Rapierwit24601almost 4 years agoThat so few of the perverts here lauded you for your efforts.
Pearls before swine!
Rapierwit24601almost 4 years agoI begin with my only critique: While my main thrust in writing is playwrighting, I have taken many writing courses with some amazing published authors. I’ve taught creative writing for 30 years at the secondary and university level. (But so have so many baristas, so I guess that doesn’t mean much.)
Here’s my bone to pick: I’ve heard from so many great writers one constant mantra: “Do not use contractions in your narrative. That’s simply lazy. But, unless you want your characters to be considered self-possessed assholes like the guys in David Mamet plays - always let your characters SPEAK in contractions. No one who ever hopes to get laid in their lifetime speaks in perfect grammar. NOBODY!” I understand how how you wanted to paint Mark, but that paints him with a DO NOT FUCK ME sign.
That being said, this was the most moving story I’ve read on this site. For me, and I’m sure I am in the minority, there was too much sex to accompany the outstanding character development. Now and then I’d skim through the sex scenes to get back to the story. While the sex scenes were amazingly hot, you’re story was better.
Thank you.
