All Comments on 'A Traitor Among Us'

Honestly, I love the idea of the story. The prime mistress being reduced to the lowest sub. I also liked the idea of her being played by one of the other mistresses. This alone made me vote a 5/5.

Here are a couple things I thought could've been better, but they're just my opinions so take them as you will!

- I would've enjoyed it more if the reveal that she's the traitor had been more drawn out. It felt like that part could've included more scorn and degrading comments from the other members. They seemed way too chill about her being a traitor.

- I thought the paddling line was confusing, especially since it seemed like the prime mistress didn't end up getting paddled (?). At least we got no reactions of her getting a taste of it extra harshly. I also would've liked to see all the mistresses and masters line up and punish her/humiliate her more for betraying them. Once again, they seemed too chill about it.

- While I liked that the prime mistress got played by another lady, I didn't really find it that exciting that she was secretly a sub and made videos. That seemed like such a stupid thing to do. Why had she even ascended to prime mistress if she wanted to be dommed. I think the plot would've been much better if she'd just fallen to a particularly smart and cut-throat mistress, and then publicly broken into willing accepting her new mistress's collar. The point is, it felt like the new mistress saved her from almost all of the punishments. I would've enjoyed seeing her suffer through it all and then being claimed by the end, with her new mistress gloating and taking her place.

Still, as I said 5/5 for the setup. Most of all I enjoyed the prologue of council discussing what they'd do to the traiter. Bit of a shame we didn't get to see all of that.

The Curse of Treason

The concept is intriguing. Grand mistress Dorothy ordered an investigation of a traitor in a secret society with the full knowledge that she is indeed the traitor sought. Does the grand mistress want to be caught? Is she secretly in search of self - punishment? A TRAITOR AMONG US puts an intriguing twist on Technician's earlier work WITNESS PROTECTION which shows how a cabal must practise self - discipline to maintain its secrecy. .

Where it fails to deliver the over - the top punch that Technician made in the similar story seven years earlier in WITNESS PROTECTION is excessive expository material in the introduction and too many minor characters. A good short story can only sustain one or two main characters.

Still TRAITOR is a fine work. There is a good point about the scramble to take the fallen mistresses' place and the roe reversal between the Grand Mistress and her slave Tricia.

That made me very horny. Excellent

EXCELLENT

An extremely interesting premise, that you have turned into an excellent story with few holds barred.