A Valentine's Day Story

Joanie goes to The Office in search of a Valentine's Day date

**

I have always hated Valentine's Day. Growing up, I never had a boyfriend, nor even a boy who wanted to be my boyfriend. I also didn't have a girlfriend, which makes sense because I'm neither gay nor bisexual. Well, to be honest, I don't know what the f**k I am, and probably won't k now until I try things out, and the prospects for that happening soon are, well, frankly, dim.

This year I was going to get Valentines because I bought them myself, filled them out, and mailed them to myself. I know, I know, you think that's pathetic. Well, yes, it is. But, do you have a better idea? I didn't think so.

I found Jake at his usual seat at the bar. Jake is a hunk, and either he doesn't know he is, or he doesn't care that he is. Either and both work for me. He was drinking his usual drink, an MGD. He was pretending to read something, but -- as usual -- he was staring blankly into space. He had a look; he always looked as if he were thinking about something truly profound, but in reality, he never was. It's a talent.

"The answer is 42," I whispered in his ear.

"I know," he said.

"Buy a girl a beer?" I asked.

"Will you come home with me later tonight?" he replied, like he always does.

"I'd love to, Jake, but sadly, I'm busy tonight," I replied, as I always do. Then I added a true surprise. "Buy me a beer and I'll come home with you Sunday night, though.:."

"Barkeep! Over here!" Jake almost shouted. The bartender arrived, and as always at the Second Avenue bar known as The Office, the bartender was a young and attractive sexpot. "An MGD for the lovely lady here, and another for me, and keep ten dollars for you."

"You're in a generous mood," I observed, as the barkeep pocketed the extra $10.

"I'm celebrating," he said.

"Celebrating what?" I asked.

"You coming home with me on Sunday. Do you know how many times I've asked you to come home with me?" Jake replied.

"372, by my count," I said.

"So, you can see why tonight is special," he said.

"It's special for me, too," I replied. Just like that, and I had a date for Valentine's Day Eve, and all night. Probably we'd go to brunch on Valentine's Day itself. It's true I'd have to fuck Jake for the privilege, maybe several times, but to me, it was well worth it.

**

I'm not unattractive. I even have some sex appeal, especially once I wear something besides my usual uniform of baggy jeans and sweatshirts. Maybe I'd trot out my short skirt for the occasion. It's tight, too; it hugs my ass nicely. I know Jake likes boobs, and like all women, I've got boobs. They're not especially large (I'm a B cup), but they're big enough to give a man a thrill if he gets his greedy little hands on them, and I can wear a blouse instead of a sweatshirt.

Here's an idea: I'll go braless on Sunday. It's the big advantage of B cup boobs; if you're young (I'm 24), and your boobs are not that big, you don't really need a bra all the time, and if you go braless, somehow men think that you're easy. Everyone hits on me when I go braless, or so it feels like. I think Jake will like that.

Now, of course, I'll have to shave everywhere: legs, underarms, and, of course, yes, down there, at least somewhat. I hate doing that, but at least women don't have to do it daily, like men. Also, it helps if one is blonde, and the carpet matches the drapes. It does, in my case, although a lot of good it does if I shave off the carpet.

Then there's perfume. Hey, I'm going all out! Why take chances? I can't believe I'm seducing Jake, and he's making it easy for me to do it. It's exciting! I'll have a date, sorta, kinda, for Valentine's Day.

**

I saunter into The Office, looking -- I like to think -- reasonably hot, and ready for my "date." I look around, and Jake isn't there. How embarrassing. I feel the seat of his usual barstool, and it's cold. The sexy, tattooed barkeep comes over to me and I order an MGD. She gives me the once over, and takes a second look. Yes, barkeep, it's me. I'm just cleaned up.

"Looking for Jake?" she asks. I can tell by how nice she's acting towards me that something's wrong.

"Yes," I say, as acid rapidly builds up in my stomach.

"He won't be in tonight, I'm afraid," she said, with a look almost of pity in her eyes. "He left about an hour ago with Virginia all over him."

"That scuzzy barfly?" I asked.

"She looked nice tonight. She wanted a Valentine's Day date, and she announced to the bar she'd fuck anyone who took her out," the barkeep said. "Jake beat off the other men, and the two left together, all lovey dovely."

"Thanks," I said. "Now I'm all dressed up with nowhere to go. Say, are you free tonight?"

"You swing that way?" the barkeep, whose name was Erica, said.

"I don't know, to be honest. I've never tried it before," I said, checking out Erica for the first time, I mean, that way. Underneath all of her tattoos, there lay quite a pretty woman.

"So, I'd be your first?" Erica replied. "By the way, I'm AC/DC, and I have a live-in boyfriend, Ryan. Just so you know."

"Does that mean ...?"

"Yes, he'll want to watch, and then join in after we each climax," Erica said.

"By join in, do you mean ...?"

"You bet. He'll want each of us, especially you, I'd imagine. You're very sexy, you know," Erica said.

"Well, I dressed up for Jake's benefit, fool that I am. Thank you, Erica, but a threesome is not my scene, I'm afraid," I said, although even as I said it, I began to wonder if, maybe, with the right two people, I mean, it could be ... nah, forget it.

"No problem. It's not my scene, either, but Ryan does enjoy, occasionally, the taste of new pussy, as do I. Too bad."

"Yes, it's a shame," I said, as I began to waiver more seriously. Erica did not notice, I suspected, because she was called away by a thirsty patron at the far end of the bar.

**

Erica had made last call. Three different men had hit on me after Erica and I had discussed a threesome. I just was not, however, in the mood for a one-night stand with a quasi-stranger, even if it was Valentine's eve, and I was without a date. Actually, Erica was being so nice to me all evening, that I felt the affection in the air, and I was both happy and content. No date was needed, after all.

As the bar's remaining patrons filed out, Erica cleaned up a bit, put chairs on tables, and in general did what barkeeps do once the place closes. She didn't have to clean the bar, because there was a janitor for those duties. A horn honked outside, even though it was 2:30AM. In New York, there's always more important things for the police to do than to enforce noise ordinances.

"Ryan's here. You coming?" Erica asked me.

"You mean, coming home with you and Ryan?" I asked, surprised, since I had said no around seven hours earlier.

"Well, I assume that's why you stayed around all evening, and remained until you're the last one to leave the bar tonight. Do you want to, or not?" she asked.

"I have my own car," I said. "However, I walked here. I live nearby. But I'm too drunk to walk home in these heels, so what the hell, yes, I'd love to come with you and Ryan."

"You won't regret it," Erica said, and she gave me a beautiful smile. Really. I had never seen her smile like that before. It lit up her face. "I was hoping you'd change your mind. I can't wait to get it on with you."

"Oh! Uhm ... yeah ... me too," I said.

Erica surprised me further by taking my head in her graceful hands, and giving me the best kiss of my life. When we finished the kiss, my panties were, maybe, just a little wet. Maybe I really was bisexual? I guess I was going to find out! After all, I did feel arousal when Erica kissed me.

**

Ryan looked reasonable. It was freaky, meeting a man, another woman's man at that, and knowing we were going to have sex with Erica that very night. Ryan was clean, and ruggedly handsome. His hands were calloused the way a man's hands get when he works with his hands for a living. I therefore was not surprised to learn he was in construction.

When we got to Ryan's apartment, way over in deepest, darkest Queens, and we got out of the car, we got a good look at each other. Ryan looked mostly at my boobs, and at my ass, when he got behind me. I think he liked what he saw, although I was still fully dressed. It's just that my blouse plunged rather deep, and as I said earlier, I had gone without a bra, so there was a lot to see, I guess.

He finally looked at my face, and surprise finally registered. "I know you, I think," he said. "Didn't you used to be ... "

"Joanie Brookstone," I said. "And you used to be Ryan Neubert. Hi Ryan. How've you been?"

"God, Joanie, is that really you? You've become a beautiful woman," he said, and then turned to a smiling Erica and said, "She always wore these baggy clothes before. I had no idea she had such a curvy, sexy body. I always knew she had a pretty face."

"I'm getting jealous, Ryan," Erica said. She was holding my hand, possessively.

"I knew Ryan in high school, a long time ago," I said, just to Erica, while Ryan was in the john. "We once dated briefly, and he got to second base, as one says in high school. I think he was too nervous to try to steal third base," I said, suppressing a giggle. "I would have let him. That night he could have gone all the way with me, but we were young, and he was scared."

"Ah, lost opportunities. I have them by the truckload. However, all's good, and we'll make up for it tonight, Joanie, I assure you," Erica said, and as she spoke, I literally saw the lust spilling out of Ryan's smile.

"We'll see," I said.

"Let's begin!" Erica announced, and she led me to the bedroom, which had little more in it than a king-sized bed, and four walls, with a dirty window giving a lovely view of the brick wall of the building next door. A reproduction of some famous painting of a naked woman adorned one of the walls. Maybe the painting was by Ingres?

Erica pushed me down on the bed, jumped on top of me, and kissed me. Her kiss was another dazzling kiss designed to light a fire in my loins, and it was effective as such. I felt hands lifting my behind, and then my skirt was coming off, all while I was still kissing Erica. Erica's head, locked with mine, prevented the removal of my blouse, but I knew its removal was inevitable. Ryan was moving around us now, taking boatloads of pictures of the two of us, as we were making out. He had a nice camera, I observed. A Nikon, I think.

I'm not sure if it was Erica or Ryan who first began to fondle my boobs while Erica and I kissed, but it felt divine. Erica shooed Ryan away and started on me first. It was quite strange being with a woman for the first time, but I just did to her what I would like to be done to me. After all, isn't that what Jesus Christ said? He may not have been referring to lesbian sex, but dammit, he should have been!

A lot of it involved licking, clit sucking, and I could tell Ryan was watching with intense interest. I had wanted, years ago back in high school, to be Ryan's girlfriend. I liked him at the time, and my status at high school would have risen dramatically if I had had a boyfriend. Not to mention, I would have had dates on the weekends, instead of sitting at home and borrowing Marybeth's toys, which were a dildo and a vibrator. Marybeth was in the sexual vanguard of my high school, and at least five different guys had carnal knowledge of her. I was so envious!

Ryan just wasn't interested in Grunge Fashion. Boys in high school like seeing a girl's curves, her breasts, and as much skin as they can, I guess. Ryan certainly liked seeing my skin! He took over once both Erica and I had climaxed. Erica had already eaten me out, and done everything pleasurable a person without a penis can do! So Ryan went to the point, with his penis, which will henceforth be referred to as his cock.

Erica and I took turns licking and sucking Ryan's cock, while he lay back with his eyes closed. I was thinking, you could have had this in high school, you fool, and to show him what he had passed on, I pushed Erica aside, and I gave him the best blowjob anyone in Queens had ever had! Erica captured it all with Ryan's camera. I was awesome, if I do say so myself, and I even let Ryan paint my face with his cum. Erica, in all of her naked glory, licked Ryan's cum from my face. It was fantastic.

The main event loomed. "Do I need a rubber?" Ryan asked. How sweet! He actually asked! I didn't know they still made men who asked. Ryan proved me wrong.

"No honey. You can cum inside me. Want to fuck?" I was lying on my back on the bed, and his nice, masculine, man-sized cock loomed over me, to the point where it was all I could see. I was about as wet as the East River when he entered me, and I wondered if, as I was doing, he was wondering about what he had missed in high school? Probably not; probably he was just enjoying a new conquest. Men like conquering women, everyone knows that. I wondered if he'd make a new notch in his bedpost?

I wanted to make it good for him; it was already good for me! I moaned in pleasure, and when I did, his cock slightly twitched. I think it even grew a little. It was big enough, but a little more never hurts. I felt like moaning, so I did. It was hot having the naked and beautiful Erica hovering around us, as we fucked. I kind of wished she'd join in. As I had that thought, almost as if he had read my mind, Ryan thrust in really hard. I moaned out my pleasure, big time.

It happened. Erica slipped her hand in between our sweaty bodies, even though it was February, and she found my clitoris. The girl needed no instructions; she was born knowing what to do. My breathing became rapid, my moans turned to little cries of, "Oh! Oh! Oh!" as I could barely catch my breath. It was building. Ryan's thrusts got faster, and Erica's caresses continued, and it kept building, building, building, with Ryan thrusting deeper and faster still, and hard, he was thrusting hard, and oh my God, "YES!" I cried out, as the serotonin storm in my brain broke into loud thunderclaps, and I screamed.

My orgasm caused my cunt to clench, squeezing Ryan's wonderful cock, and he emptied his balls a second time, this time being inside me. Erica's mouth was covering mine, her tongue entering, as I was spared no quarter; they were not letting me come down from the heights of my fabulous orgasm.

Erica had two fingers inside me, even with all of Ryan's cum there, and she was twisting them around. A third finger joined her two, and she massaged me, twisting her fingers around and around and around. It felt lovely, and highly erotic. She kept pushing on the walls of my vaginal canal. After around five to ten minutes of this erotic massage, she added her thumb, and then a little later her whole hand was massaging me. Next her entire hand, actually her fist, went into me! I moaned, fairly loudly. Erica's fist went further and further inside me, until half her forearm was buried in my cunt. I was now moaning continuously. I had never experienced anything like it!

"Your turn," Erica said to Ryan as she slowly extracted her small hand and forearm. I was sorry to see it go. As she moved her hand up to my face, I saw Ryan moving around. Erica had me taste her fingers, and even the back of her hand, which I did enthusiastically, to my surprise.

Next it was Ryan, whose wrists were probably twice the size of Erica's, who was fingering me with three fingers, gradually raising the ante to four, and then to my surprise (that it was even possible) to his entire hand. Ryan managed to get his entire fist inside me, captured for posterity by Erica with Ryan's Nikon camera.

Ryan began to fist fuck me and it was an experience like no other I had ever had. I almost felt like I did as a virgin, when I was deflowered in the backseat of Dylan's father's Avalon, parked up at Cherry Hill, where other high school students -- the perverted ones -- came to peek on the couples making out. They probably got a treat when Dylan got me naked. I was so excited, so turned on that Dylan wanted me that way, that I barely noticed the peepers. Actually, I confess, their presence made it all the hotter. I loved having witnesses to my first fuck, even if it lasted only around five seconds.

Now I was having my first fist fucks. I had heard of them, in the dark gossip in which we women sometimes engage, but I had only half believed it happened. Trust me: It's an amazing experience. As Ryan was fist fucking me, he kissed me, and he actually said, "Would you be my Valentine?"

He timed it perfectly, because as he spoke the words, I climaxed.

When I had come down from the ethereal heights Erica and Ryan had sent me to, Ryan asked me again, "Joanie Brookstone, will you be my Valentine?"

I was still breathing a little heavily as I replied, and as I lay there naked, my cunt wide open from the fisting, my breasts still heaving, "What do you think?"

**

Erica drove me back to my car the next morning, after she and Ryan had given me wake-up fucks, with a dildo and a real cock. Since it was just us two in the car, I mentioned, "I'm sorry Ryan didn't get to fuck you last night or even this morning." Ryan has used all his cum up on me.

"Joanie, dear, I'm not bisexual like you are. I'm lesbian, and Ryan knows it. It's only when I bring someone like you home that he gets to have some of the sexual satisfaction that "real men" crave. I must say, too, that you are the best bi I've ever seen, let alone brought home. You loved everything, and gave back as good as you got!" Erica said, to my surprise. To my shock, even.

"Aren't you two a couple? Aren't you lovers?" I asked.

"Yes, we're a couple, and yes, we're lovers, just not in the traditional way. No cocks enter this body. Ever," Erica replied.

"Well, I'll be damned," I replied.

"Yes, we all will, I suspect," Erica said. "Here we are. I hope to see you sometime, at the bar?"

"I'll be there tonight, looking sexy, for Jake. Happy Valentine's Day, Erica," I said, and after I left her car, I leaned into her window for a little kiss goodbye. I got another kiss that sizzled, and it almost set ablaze the blouse I was wearing. Wow.

I looked forward with new enthusiasm about going to The Office later, that same Valentine's Day.