All Comments on 'A Valentine's Day Surprise'

Writing and story telling are not your strong suits. Find another hobby.

You can't be serious. This could of been a good or even great story, until I got to the 11" dick...Come back to reality.

Stopped reading at this point...as I was sure the 44FF tits would be next.

Either write something that is believable, or please don't write at all.

Sloppy writing, but at least you had ridiculously bad dialog to distract your readers attention. I've watched PORN with better dialog. Man, total garbage.

First off, idont understand why commentors have to be so nasty. This story is bad but we dont have to asses about it.

The story line is thin , lacking any info and is way too cliche.

Also, how could a beautiful lady walk in if he couldnt see her face ??

At the 11" cock, seemed it was going to be a good story till then, also would hav been better her ot knowing he was her date and them slowly comming around to making love because they both needed someone.

So you fucked up the whole story from the get go.

Missed a few letters, keys stick.

This story was bad you surprised me as I read on for it got even worse. -* that is minus 1 star.

I think the author can't even spell his name correctly - I think it's MORONMANTIC.

I don't usually make negative comments but that was bad. It started off ok and then when you got to the room it fell apart.

this is your first attempt at writing fiction, so you need to learn how to write. One way is to read other stories and think about the differences between your writing and theirs.

One difference you'll find is to build up tension. Once they were back at the hotel it was wham, bam sex, whereas it should have been a seduction. I got the impression you were trying to cram every type of sex act you could think of.

Read and practise. Best of luck.

That story was really really terrible. I find that stories that refer to the woman as "cunt" and where the guy always has a 10"+ sized dick are not only written by amateurs but by people who obviously have little to no sexual experience outside of fiction.

Is this a joke? One line dialogs are dry, and the all caps OH MY GOD I AM CUMMING is comical.

That's MINUS 5. Complete and utter rubbish.

Complete bull crap

thats such bs wish i had not wasted my time reading it

What a crap piece of story telling, it's that bad it's not even worth scoring you on it, but if there was an option for a minus score you'd get a minus 100 from me, GET REAL !!!! this story had great prospects but you screwed up big time it's TOO SHORT, for one thing and I'm so pissed off I'm not going to ramble on any more as it's CRAP !!!!!!!!.

Give me a brake, why not 18 inches? What a crock? Get a life, or learn to write a real story. To bad they don't have a minus 5 star.

You've read the comments but don't be disheartened. All the 17 the people who commented haven't wrote a story so you are one up on them and me.

Keep writing.

REgards

Although it was very short and no build up I thought it was still entertaining.

Although rather short this story is full of interesting ideas.

Good start to a sexy story, but way to short. 5/5